My goal in life is a happy marriage. Current marriage of 13 years has had it’s troubles. A priest who knows us both well has told me that I had grounds for an annulment. Kids are in middle school. Short term I can live day to day. Long term I wonder if this will work and think that I would be much more happily married with a woman who has a better relationship with God and is comfortable with her catholic faith. I’ve been on the fence for a while but trying to make it work. What would you do?
I’m sorry to hear that your marriage isn’t going the way that you would like, but I’m very happy to hear that you want to learn more before cutting the rope and letting go. God bless you for your steadfast courage.
I think this is a wonderful opportunity for you to be a great Christian example to not only your wife, but your kids. If you’ve never read the Gospels, or even if you have, this would be a wonderful time to read them. Also, the “Imitation of Christ” would be a valuable reading tool. Thomas Kempis wrote wonderful meditations on how to live like Christ and he takes examples from the Gospels. It has really helped me.
I’m not a licensed marriage counselor or social worker, so I can’t give you practical advice, but I can, as a Catholic and a Christian, give you some spiritual advice. Talk to your wife. Take time every night to give to her and show her that you care. If you are worried about her Christian relationship, it might help to give her a daily devotional Bible. If you have the financial means, plan a trip to Rome or another spiritual place (perhaps if you have a favorite saint, like St. Therese of Lisieux, you could visit their birthplace). Sometimes work and life get so complicated that married people don’t spend enough time together, alone.
Definitely, continue frequenting the Sacraments. Pray the Rosary together. Go on a Catholic retreat for married people. Maybe you and your wife can get a spiritual director? If you are having real trouble, there are licensed social workers who touch on the Catholic faith. There’s a wonderful website that has registered Catholic therapists.
catholictherapists.com/
What would I do? My advice…don’t give up yet. It may be difficult, but I am praying for you. Also, I think it would be a great idea to pray for the intercession of Catholic saints who are patrons of marriage. Mary and Joseph are the model of marriage and family. St. Therese of Lisieux’s parents, Louis and Zelie Martin, are another great intercessor pair. They were just elevated to “blessed” last year!
Here is a prayer that I found that I think you should pray:
A MARRIAGE BLESSING PRAYER
We thank you, O God, for the Love You have implanted in our hearts. May it always inspire us to be kind in our words, considerate of feeling, and concerned for each other’s needs and wishes. Help us to be understanding and forgiving of human weaknesses and failings. Increase our faith and trust in You and may Your Prudence guide our life and love. Bless our Marriage O God, with Peace and Happiness, and make our love fruitful for Your glory and our Joy both here and in eternity.
I hope this helps you. Maybe someone with more knowledge than I can help you. Rest assured of my prayers for you. God bless you, your wife, and your family!
