Marriage /confirmation

[Helen62]

Hi,
I’m new to the site & I’ve got a question,
I’m getting married in May & we’re both Catholic, I’ve been baptised, & made my confirmation,
My fiance has also been baptised but hasn’t been confirmed,
I’ve been told that as long as 1 of us has been confirmed then that will suffice,
I would like to know that this is correct & I’d appreciate any help.
Thanks Helen

 

[Gorgias]

I’ve been told that as long as 1 of us has been confirmed then that will suffice

No, that’s not a consideration.

Catholics should be fully initiated into the Church, including confirmation, prior to entering into the sacrament of marriage. If one fiance isn’t confirmed, he should get confirmed prior to marrying, “if it can be done without grave inconvenience” (according to canon law).

Is there a reason that your fiance couldn’t be confirmed prior to your wedding?

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Hi,
I’m new to the site & I’ve got a question,
I’m getting married in May & we’re both Catholic, I’ve been baptised, & made my confirmation,
My fiance has also been baptised but hasn’t been confirmed,
I’ve been told that as long as 1 of us has been confirmed then that will suffice,
I would like to know that this is correct & I’d appreciate any help.
Thanks Helen

As the other poster said, your understanding is not correct.

The Code of Canon Law prescribes:
Can. 1065 §1. Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before they are admitted to marriage if it can be done without grave inconvenience.
In point of fact, in the dioceses I have worked with, “grave inconvenience” is a very high threshold to sustain…and I can’t imagine sustaining it in this circumstance. You have eight months to remedy the deficiency, either by his being confirmed by the bishop or the priest being delegated to administer Confirmation to him. There is plenty of time to provide the needed catechesis before Confirmation.

This matter will come up at the point at which the priest will ask you to supply certificates of your baptism, recently issued, “with notations”. The notations would indicate the date and place of your Confirmation and it would affirm that, in the respective sacramental records for each of you, there is no notation that you are already contracted marriage, had received the sacrament of Holy Order (for your fiance) or publicly professed a solemn perpetual vow (either of you) any of which would preclude your marrying.

You would do well to discuss this matter with the priest sooner rather than later since, as time passes, the available options diminish.

 

[Helen62]

Thank you for your replies & I’ll speak to our priest at the weekend,
I know the confirmations are the 29th of October,
Would this be enough time for him to do this.
Thanks Helen

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Thank you for your replies & I’ll speak to our priest at the weekend,
I know the confirmations are the 29th of October,
Would this be enough time for him to do this.
Thanks Helen

You’re very welcome.

Requirements vary from one diocese to another when it comes to what is necessary for an already baptised Catholic who is needing to resolve a deficit with regard to having missed Confirmation. In my diocese, there would be enough time to provide the necessary catechesis.

Personally, I would urge you to telephone the priest. If there is a series of weekly classes already begun which is preparing adult Catholics who missed being confirmed, it is better to know sooner rather than later and to avoid having more for the priest to have to make up, should that route be necessary. Some places do sessions over a span of weeks, some do an all day full immersion session. Some places make yet other provisions.

Presuming that this is not the parish where your fiance was baptised, he should request a baptismal certificate with notations right away from the parish where he was baptised – if he has not already submitted one to this parish. It can take days for this to be processed, depending upon how they want the request submitted, where the parish is, its staffing situation, and so forth.

The current parish will need the certificate as he prepares for Confirmation…to verify his baptism, that he has not already been confirmed*, and also so they will know where to send the notification for entry of Confirmation into his sacramental register.

• It does happen rarely that someone will have been confirmed without being aware. This is especially true in cases where they were born prematurely, for example, and there was sufficient fear that the baby would not survive to justify giving the sacrament in extremis. I remember many years having contact with one diocese where the infant mortality rate was so high at one point that babies were regularly confirmed so that they would have the ontological characters of both sacraments, in the event that they died.

 

[Helen62]

Thank you for your quick response & what you have said has really helped.
Thanks Helen

 

[Casilda]

Thank you for your replies & I’ll speak to our priest at the weekend,
I know the confirmations are the 29th of October,
Would this be enough time for him to do this.
Thanks Helen

No one online can help you with your question, as someone mentioned before, every parish in every diocese has different requirements. So it is best to speak directly with a priest. Be wary of church staff, in my experience, they do not know every intricacy of church canon law/requirements and do more harm than good.