Marriage convalidation

[Charliesj]

I’m currently attending rcia in my local parish, I’m a baptized Christian and so is my wife. I’m converting to Catholicism after resisting the pull of the Holy Spirit for years, but my wife is not (at least for the foreseeable future). Since she isn’t Catholic and hasn’t given any indications that she would also like to convert I have been given mixed messages by rcia staff and catholic realities as to whether we would need to have our marriage blessed or convalidated. I was told by one deacon that my marriage is considered valid since we were both baptized Christians at the time of our wedding but then there was some confusion when one of the rcia leaders recommended I start doing marriage prep courses while in rcia so I could get convalidated after Easter vigil.

Long story short: is this something I need to do too?

 

[1ke]

I’m currently attending rcia in my local parish, I’m a baptized Christian and so is my wife. I’m converting to Catholicism after resisting the pull of the Holy Spirit for years, but my wife is not (at least for the foreseeable future).

Congratulations on joining RCIA and coming into full communion with the Church!

Since she isn’t Catholic and hasn’t given any indications that she would also like to convert I have been given mixed messages by rcia staff and catholic realities as to whether we would need to have our marriage blessed or convalidated.

I am very sorry to hear that. This is a pet peeve of mine, RCIA people who don’t know their stuff… GRRR…

I have one question for you. Ok, well, three questions. Were either you or your wife baptized into the Catholic Church or an Orthodox Church as infants? When you say “baptized Christian”, where were each of you baptized? And, neither of you has a prior marriage, correct?

Assuming the answer to my above question regarding your or your wife’s baptism as Catholics or Orthodox is “no” and the answer to prior marriages is “no”, then the answer to your question about needing convalidation is an unequivocal NO.

If it’s your first/only marriage (or you are a widow or widower) and not previously baptized Catholic or Orthodox, then you are in a valid, sacramental marriage and you do NOT convalidate it.

If either of you were baptized Catholic or Orthodox, or there are prior marriages involved then the answer is-- more investigation needed.

I was told by one deacon that my marriage is considered valid since we were both baptized Christians at the time of our wedding

Presuming the deacon had access to your paperwork showing where you were originally baptized, and neither you nor your wife were baptized Catholic or Orthodox, and neither of you had any impediment such as a prior marriage, then the deacon is correct.

One note, the validity of the marriage does **not **hinge on whether or not you were baptized. Your marriage would also be valid if neither of you were baptized at all. It would be a natural marriage. Since you are both baptized, it is valid and a sacrament.

but then there was some confusion when one of the rcia leaders recommended I start doing marriage prep courses while in rcia so I could get convalidated after Easter vigil.

No, no, no. And GRRR.

If you are in a valid marriage, you do nothing.

If you are in an invalid marriage due to a prior marriage or the baptism situation mentioned above, then the situation needs to be taken care of BEFORE you are received into the Church.

Long story short: is this something I need to do too?

Long story short, not if you have no prior marriages and neither were baptized Catholic or Orthodox.

Yes, there are things to do if you have a prior marriage or your baptism was in a Catholic or Orthodox Church.

 

[CJsmommy]

As a baptized Catholic who wasn’t raised in the Church, but only just came back to it, I had to get my marriage co-validated. Like you my spouse has no interest in joining the Church, but he went along with it. It was just paperwork and witnesses and had to be done before my confirmation. No marriage class.

If you weren’t baptized Catholic, but in another denomination, you shouldn’t need co-validation at all.

 

[Neofight]

Listen to your deacon…there is no reason to doubt, or need to double check what an ordained member of the Holy Order has told you.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

OP, I am guessing that you and your wife were baptized Protestants at the time of your wedding? And neither of you were previously married and divorced? If so, your marriage is already valid and sacramental. The Catholic Church recognizes the validity of Protestant marriages.

If you do have any previous marriages with still living previous spouses, you would need to explore a Decree of Nullity regarding those previous marriages.

 

[Casilda]

Short answer, TALK TO A PRIEST, if none available, find another parish. I am very sorry you are in a badly run rcia. I quit 6 programs in 6 overly large parishes where taking with a priest was impossible, I found a smaller, better run parish.

 

[Charliesj]

Congratulations on joining RCIA and coming into full communion with the Church!

I am very sorry to hear that. This is a pet peeve of mine, RCIA people who don’t know their stuff… GRRR…

I have one question for you. Ok, well, three questions. Were either you or your wife baptized into the Catholic Church or an Orthodox Church as infants? When you say “baptized Christian”, where were each of you baptized? And, neither of you has a prior marriage, correct?

Assuming the answer to my above question regarding your or your wife’s baptism as Catholics or Orthodox is “no” and the answer to prior marriages is “no”, then the answer to your question about needing convalidation is an unequivocal NO.

If it’s your first/only marriage (or you are a widow or widower) and not previously baptized Catholic or Orthodox, then you are in a valid, sacramental marriage and you do NOT convalidate it.

If either of you were baptized Catholic or Orthodox, or there are prior marriages involved then the answer is-- more investigation needed.

Presuming the deacon had access to your paperwork showing where you were originally baptized, and neither you nor your wife were baptized Catholic or Orthodox, and neither of you had any impediment such as a prior marriage, then the deacon is correct.

One note, the validity of the marriage does **not **hinge on whether or not you were baptized. Your marriage would also be valid if neither of you were baptized at all. It would be a natural marriage. Since you are both baptized, it is valid and a sacrament.

No, no, no. And GRRR.

If you are in a valid marriage, you do nothing.

If you are in an invalid marriage due to a prior marriage or the baptism situation mentioned above, then the situation needs to be taken care of BEFORE you are received into the Church.

Long story short, not if you have no prior marriages and neither were baptized Catholic or Orthodox.

Yes, there are things to do if you have a prior marriage or your baptism was in a Catholic or Orthodox Church.

Thanks for the welcome.
A bit of clarification is needed I guess.
I was baptized as an infant in Presbyterian church, she was baptized as a teen in an evangelical churvh.
This is her first marriage and my second. I’ve been in the process of getting a decree of nullity for a long time so fingers crossed it will be finished soon so I can finally join the church. I think the confusion comes from the fact that I was still married, in the eyes of the church but unbeknownst to me at the time, when I married my current wife.
The Deacon at my parish said if and when the tribunal rules my first marriage is null then my current marriage would automatically be assumed to be valid. The rcia team was split on this and told me they’d get back to me.

Thanks for all the replies and keep me in your prayers

 

[1ke]

The Deacon at my parish said if and when the tribunal rules my first marriage is null then my current marriage would automatically be assumed to be valid. The rcia team was split on this and told me they’d get back to me.

Your deacon is correct. 1000% correct.

If your first marriage is ruled invalid, your second marriage IS valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and thank your lucky stars for a knowledgeable deacon.

 

[Horton]

Your deacon is correct. 1000% correct.

If your first marriage is ruled invalid, your second marriage IS valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and thank your lucky stars for a knowledgeable deacon.

And I agree with you 1ke - Those running RCIA should have at least a work knowledge of marriage issues. We are fortunate in our parish to have two advocates on the RCIA team to deal with these issues as they come up.

 

[jimsnew]

Thanks for the welcome.
A bit of clarification is needed I guess.
I was baptized as an infant in Presbyterian church, she was baptized as a teen in an evangelical churvh.
This is her first marriage and my second. I’ve been in the process of getting a decree of nullity for a long time so fingers crossed it will be finished soon so I can finally join the church. I think the confusion comes from the fact that I was still married, in the eyes of the church but unbeknownst to me at the time, when I married my current wife.
The Deacon at my parish said if and when the tribunal rules my first marriage is null then my current marriage would automatically be assumed to be valid. The rcia team was split on this and told me they’d get back to me.

Thanks for all the replies and keep me in your prayers

Your situation is the same as mine except for the fact that my current wife is Catholic, and we weren’t married in the Church. I am in RCIA, just applied for an annulment, then we have to convalidate our marriage. I don’t think your situation is any different than mine.

 

[1ke]

I don’t think your situation is any different than mine.

His situation is different from yours. Neither he nor his spouse is a Catholic.

 

[Phemie]

Your situation is the same as mine except for the fact that my current wife is Catholic, and we weren’t married in the Church. I am in RCIA, just applied for an annulment, then we have to convalidate our marriage. I don’t think your situation is any different than mine.

Your two situations are quite different.

If his first marriage is declared invalid, his “second” marriage becomes valid by default since it means there was no impediment to it and neither of them was Catholic at the time.

Because your second wife is a Catholic married outside the Church, your marriage does not automatically become valid if you are granted a decree of nullity (an annulment). She could not validly marry outside the Church without a dispensation from canonical form from her bishop – something that wouldn’t have been granted due to your presumed-valid first marriage. That’s why your marriage must be convalidated once you get your annulment.