Marriage convalidation

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onebzzymom

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My husband and I are both in RCIA and will be having our
marriage convalidated in February (our 23rd wedding anniversary).
I understand convalidation is to have your marriage blessed by
the church. We were told we could have this ceremony in the church
or in the father’s office and have it be simple or elaborate.
We definately know we want it to be in the church in front of the
blessed sacrament.

I would like to know how others have celebrated their convalidation.
All ideas, suggestions are appreciated. Thank you!
 
We had our marriage convalidated this past July. We had a mini-wedding. ( We orginally were married in a wedding chapel shortly after high school).

Our daughter was our flower girl (she’s 9). I didn’t wear a wedding dress ofcourse. I wore simple ivory “Sunday” dress. We had a matron of honor & best man(who happen to be husband & wife). I had a rosary woven into my bouquet, and we put roses at the feet of the blessed mother statue. Our closest family and friends were invited (about 25 people.)

Afterward we changed clothes and had a pic-nic with our friends in the park where we met as teenagers. It was a beautiul day.

Welcome home to the church and congratulations on your upcoming “wedding”.🙂
 
Rayne-

Thank you so much for sharing. Your wedding must have
been beautiful! 🙂 You have given me some wonderful
ideas. We too, have a 9 year old daughter and I definately
pictured her as our flower girl. If only I could predict our weather,
a picnic sounds wonderful!! Thank you again and also for
the warm welcome. It means alot!

! :blessyou:

Onebzzymom
 
In my entire 73 years I have heard of such a ceremony done once. It was done on a Saturday morning in an empty church at the alter rail over to the right side. I was told that it occured many years ago when a couple had been married for 50 years. That’s it. It is rare and not a sacrament.
 
We were convalidated on our 6th wedding anniversary, 7/27/1997. I had just given birth to our third child on 7/4. We did it in church, with pastor, our three kids, and my parents present. I think we all went out to eat to celebrate after.

My husband is not Catholic, but did the convalidation for love of me. I had not know ours was not a sacramental marriage. I had not known that I was not to receive Eucharist until we were convalidated, thus the desire to get it done.

ENJOY!
CONGRATS!

Here is more info:
About Lilo

http://www.catholic-pages.com/forum/images/icon_posticon.gifPosted - 10 Jan 2004 : 12:02:30 quote: Originally posted by teachermom
Does anyone know where I can get hold of the service for convalidation?

This isn’t exactly something I’ve ever had to deal with - but here goeshttp://www.catholic-pages.com/forum/images/icon_smile.gif

The details seem to vary depending on the diocese. Various web sites indicate that there are actually convalidation courses.

[angelfire.com/ky/dodone/Convalidation.html](http://www.angelfire.com/ky/dodone/Convalidation.html)

BASIC R.C. BELIEF

Convalidation is the name of the ceremony whereby a civil marriage between two Roman Catholics can be validated in the eyes of the Church. Even though the civil marriage is recognized by civil law, and persons who contract such are legally married, the Church requires that, to be sacramentally valid, the marriage of a Catholic take place in the presence of an ordained person.

It is a true wedding ceremony, the Sacrament of Matrimony, and is a simple ritual, including the reading of scripture and exchange of vows. Rings can be either exchanged or the original rings blessed, according to the desire of the couple.

Other sites indicated that marriage preparation programs are now available in convalidation editions. Whether you need these is another question.

Basically, then, it looks pretty much like a regular nuptial Mass.
Your parish priest should know if the diocese has specific programs
for you.
 
We had it in the Church. Very small, maybe 10 people at the most. Was a great moment.
 
While I was in RCIA, I was awaiting an annulment. When my annulment was granted, my husband and I were married in the Church just before the Mass where I was received into the Church. We have two children. Our daughter was 4 at the time and our son was a year old. Our daughter was between us and held our wedding rings. My son decided to provide the “music”. He wasn’t crying, he likes to sing and this started while he was a baby. He would hum himself to sleep. Even though several members of my RCIA class had already entered the Church, they were there for my wedding and when I entered the Church. As an added bonus, some of the secret service detail for President Bush were there for Mass. President Bush was suppose to arrive in Knoxville the next day, so some of the Secret Service agents assigned to him were there. Pretty Cool I thought.
 
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Exporter:
In my entire 73 years I have heard of such a ceremony done once. It was done on a Saturday morning in an empty church at the alter rail over to the right side. I was told that it occured many years ago when a couple had been married for 50 years. That’s it. It is rare and not a sacrament.
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You are mistaken. A convalidation is where 2 people married outside the church “get married” in the church. In other words they now have a sacramental marriage where as before they did not. It is not just a blessing actually which may be where you misunderstood.
 
Oh I forgot to mention we got new wedding rings. Simple gold bands with a cross on them. I get complements on my ring all the time.
 
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Exporter:
In my entire 73 years I have heard of such a ceremony done once. It was done on a Saturday morning in an empty church at the alter rail over to the right side. I was told that it occured many years ago when a couple had been married for 50 years. That’s it. It is rare and not a sacrament.
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it was probably much rarer years ago, when the normal routine was for a Catholic boy to date a Catholic girl, because their social circle was all Catholic, and they married in the Church. Now that living together and civil marriages are so much more common, so are convalidations. And the good news is they are, in fact, sacraments. this is the sacrament of matrimony. While they may have removed themselves from the objectively sinful condition by living togther chastely before this ceremony, now they have the benefits of the sacrament of matrimony with all the graces that promises, and they are now free to partake in the Eucharist and the other sacraments. Isn’t this Church Great!
 
I’m new here and I don’t know if I’m doing the posting correctly. I have recently just gotten engaged I would like to know if marriage convalidation can be done if my fiance is civilly divorced but still in the process of getting a church annulment. Thanks
 
agb70 said:
I’m new here and I don’t know if I’m doing the posting correctly. I have recently just gotten engaged I would like to know if marriage convalidation can be done if my fiance is civilly divorced but still in the process of getting a church annulment. Thanks
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Convalidation is for after the annulment has proven there was not valid marriage. This is for Catholics who have not followed church teaching and married outside of the church. If you haven’t gone ahead and gotten married outside the church then don’t do it. Wait for the annulment - if there is going to be one. If there isn’t then obviously there can be no marriage since that person is not free to marry.
 
rayne89 said:
You are mistaken. A convalidation is where 2 people married outside the church “get married” in the church. In other words they now have a sacramental marriage where as before they did not. It is not just a blessing actually which may be where you misunderstood.
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You mean they now have a ‘valid’ marriage. It may or may not be sacramental depending on whether both are baptized or not. Both must be baptized for it to be sacramental. If one of the spouses receives baptism later on the marriage automatically becomes sacramental as well as having been valid.
 
My DH and I had our convalidation right after the daily Mass, on our 10th anniversary. A few friends and relatives were there. We were dressed in our best, but outside of that, did nothing special.

It was lovely! :love::love:

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
So obviously a convalidation and a blessing are very different, but does anyone make a big deal out of a blessing? Can it be done as a ceremony as itself, is it private/public…etc? Hubby and I have our 10th anniversary coming up right after he gets home next summer and we have always thought having our marriage blessed would be a nice idea…but I have no idea how people actually do it:o
 
Malia, when you married Feanaro, did you do it under the auspices of the Church, even if Feanaro had to get a dispensation to marry you in another denomination? If so, then you don’t need to get a convalidation. Some people call this “getting their marriage blessed” but it is really the actual Catholic marriage, because they didn’t do it right the first time.

If you just want a blessing for your tenth anniversary, then having a Mass or having some sort of religious ceremony where you again recite your vows is no big deal, however big or small you want it. You start in the parish office and pick a date. I’ve seen some people have this done at daily Mass, quite lovely. I’ve also sen them do it during the Saturday evening Mass, and have a big party after. Depends on what you want to do.

Now, if you mean that you and Feanaro only had a civil ceremony or got married in a non-Cahtolic church without a dispensation, then you go see a priest. I’m not trying to be nosey. I just thought you already took care of that.
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
Malia, when you married Feanaro, did you do it under the auspices of the Church, even if Feanaro had to get a dispensation to marry you in another denomination? If so, then you don’t need to get a convalidation. Some people call this “getting their marriage blessed” but it is really the actual Catholic marriage, because they didn’t do it right the first time.

If you just want a blessing for your tenth anniversary, then having a Mass or having some sort of religious ceremony where you again recite your vows is no big deal, however big or small you want it. You start in the parish office and pick a date. I’ve seen some people have this done at daily Mass, quite lovely. I’ve also sen them do it during the Saturday evening Mass, and have a big party after. Depends on what you want to do.

Now, if you mean that you and Feanaro only had a civil ceremony or got married in a non-Cahtolic church without a dispensation, then you go see a priest. I’m not trying to be nosey. I just thought you already took care of that.
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**Whoops, sorry to not be clear. As far as I know we are validly and Sacramentally married;)…we married in the Catholic Church but we would really like to have our marriage blessed for our 10th anniversary… ****plus, we did not have a Mass for our wedding since myself and most of guests could not receive Communion, it is something I’d like to do together now:thumbsup:
**
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**Whoops, sorry to not be clear. As far as I know we are validly and Sacramentally married;)…we married in the Catholic Church but we would really like to have our marriage blessed for our 10th anniversary… ****plus, we did not have a Mass for our wedding since myself and most of guests could not receive Communion, it is something I’d like to do together now:thumbsup:
**
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So what you want to do is renew your vows, a rite that’s included in the Marriage Rite in Canada. If you go see your priest and explain that you’re celebrating your 10th anniversary and would like to renew your vows at Mass I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to accommodate you.
 
Many years ago, my father reverted and my mother converted to Catholicism, and were married in the Catholic Church. As part of this, they had to believe that their marriage up to that point was not valid. This was kinda hard for my siblings and me. I was told at the time that the Catholic Church didn’t really consider us kids illegitimate, but plenty of Catholic lay people felt otherwise. I was never very comfortable with that. Have you thought about how you’ll present this to your daughter, onebzzymom?
 
masuwerte said:
Many years ago, my father reverted and my mother converted to Catholicism, and were married in the Catholic Church. As part of this, they had to believe that their marriage up to that point was not valid. This was kinda hard for my siblings and me. I was told at the time that the Catholic Church didn’t really consider us kids illegitimate, but plenty of Catholic lay people felt otherwise. I was never very comfortable with that. Have you thought about how you’ll present this to your daughter, onebzzymom?
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1.) There is a civil date.

2.) I would highly recommend the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was for anybody who feels this way about themselves. I am so tired of hearing this one. While convalidation does not necessarily mean there was a decree of nullity, the explanation of putative marriage is excellent, as is the explanation of legitimacy.

3.) What Catholic laypeople erroneously feel or express does not make it so.

4.) How her daughter feels about the whole business does not mean they should not get their marriage convalidated. A 9 year old does not get to call the shots here. To possibly spare the child’s feelings, she shouldn’t get her marriage convalidated and deny herself either conjugal rights or the Eucharist? That’s what it sounds as if you are suggesting to her.
 
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