M
montanaman
Guest
Hey all,
Here’s a whopper I don’t think has been dealt with in the forum. If it has, please direct me to the appropriate thread. It has to do with using birth control for medical reasons, but there’s a bit of a twist here–TWO twists, actually.
First of all, my Protestant girlfriend, who I’ve been with for about a year now, is converting. I’m 31, she’s 27. Long story, but she’s a lifelong fundamentalist and her parents aren’t too fond of me. That doesn’t matter too much, though, because she’s one of very few people in this world I can honestly say is searching for the truth. The grief her family has given her is a small price to pay, in her estimation, to losing her soul because she didn’t follow truth where it led her. So, she’s in RCIA now.
Yesterday I found myself online trying to figure out engagement rings and if I have to sell my truck to get one. I’m not entirely sold on the idea–after all, there’s something to be said for the bachelor life–but girls like her don’t come along very often, and she has turned ME around. So, I’m in the process of discerning for marriage like never before.
She recently detected a lump in her lower stomach. After a couple of doctor’s visits, we found out she has the not-all-uncommon fibroids. I don’t know how uncommon THIS is, but out of the many down there, one is the size of a baseball, one is slightly smaller, and there are several other walnut-sized ones as well. (We actually had a laugh about that–she’s 100 pounds and invisible when she turns sideways. Where ARE they?!?)
The doctor told her that after the surgery, she’ll have to be on birth control to control them. I believe I’ve heard this before, but apparently once you’ve shown a predeliction to fibroids, you’ve got to keep on ABC to keep them at bay.
For reasons I won’t get into now, I’ve decided that I need to make this decision about marriage soon. Now, she knows the Catholic position on ABC. She’s fine with it–even if it does seem a little weird to her right now. However, she doesn’t want to keep going under the knife. If, however, there’s no other medical option but to use ABC or practice heroic virtue until we decided to start having kids (essentially reducting sex to merely the procreative aspect of intercourse), would I be morally obligated to forget about marrying her?
Consequences–it would kill the both of us if this medical problem became an impediment to marriage. My faith would probably be deeply bruised for a long time, though I can’t say I’d leave the Church over it. She, however, is in the very beginning (shaky) stage of converting. Not only could such an impediment break her heart, it might permanently turn her away from the Church.
My head is spinning with this one, so any help medically, spiritually, theologically or “other” would be a great help.
Thanks much,
Christopher
Here’s a whopper I don’t think has been dealt with in the forum. If it has, please direct me to the appropriate thread. It has to do with using birth control for medical reasons, but there’s a bit of a twist here–TWO twists, actually.
First of all, my Protestant girlfriend, who I’ve been with for about a year now, is converting. I’m 31, she’s 27. Long story, but she’s a lifelong fundamentalist and her parents aren’t too fond of me. That doesn’t matter too much, though, because she’s one of very few people in this world I can honestly say is searching for the truth. The grief her family has given her is a small price to pay, in her estimation, to losing her soul because she didn’t follow truth where it led her. So, she’s in RCIA now.
Yesterday I found myself online trying to figure out engagement rings and if I have to sell my truck to get one. I’m not entirely sold on the idea–after all, there’s something to be said for the bachelor life–but girls like her don’t come along very often, and she has turned ME around. So, I’m in the process of discerning for marriage like never before.
She recently detected a lump in her lower stomach. After a couple of doctor’s visits, we found out she has the not-all-uncommon fibroids. I don’t know how uncommon THIS is, but out of the many down there, one is the size of a baseball, one is slightly smaller, and there are several other walnut-sized ones as well. (We actually had a laugh about that–she’s 100 pounds and invisible when she turns sideways. Where ARE they?!?)
The doctor told her that after the surgery, she’ll have to be on birth control to control them. I believe I’ve heard this before, but apparently once you’ve shown a predeliction to fibroids, you’ve got to keep on ABC to keep them at bay.
For reasons I won’t get into now, I’ve decided that I need to make this decision about marriage soon. Now, she knows the Catholic position on ABC. She’s fine with it–even if it does seem a little weird to her right now. However, she doesn’t want to keep going under the knife. If, however, there’s no other medical option but to use ABC or practice heroic virtue until we decided to start having kids (essentially reducting sex to merely the procreative aspect of intercourse), would I be morally obligated to forget about marrying her?
Consequences–it would kill the both of us if this medical problem became an impediment to marriage. My faith would probably be deeply bruised for a long time, though I can’t say I’d leave the Church over it. She, however, is in the very beginning (shaky) stage of converting. Not only could such an impediment break her heart, it might permanently turn her away from the Church.
My head is spinning with this one, so any help medically, spiritually, theologically or “other” would be a great help.
Thanks much,
Christopher
