Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

[James_2_24]

I am from a broken family. My parents are divorced and my father remarried. He entered into a civil marriage when his annulment process failed.

I have a sister who left the Church and is now Protestant (Calvary Chapel). We got into the discussion of my father’s situation. I told her that I don’t accept and agree that they are married validly.

She asked me, “Don’t you think God would want him to be happy?” “I mean what if your wife went crazy after you married her, cheated on you, and then left you? Would you not be able to marry ever again?” “Doesn’t the Bible say that adultery is an exception for re-marriage?”

I answered, “Yes God would want him to be remarried. If my wife cheated on me after marriage and then left, i would have to remain single. The Bible does not teach that adultery is a case for remarrage”

I still struggle with… If my wife cheated on me after marriage and then left… Wouldn’t God allow for me to be remarried? Wouldn’t He want me to be happy? What if I couldn’t live alone and be happy?

Also can someone answer the question of the “exception clause” to marriage? And if this is a misinterpretation on the part of Protestants, when did this misinterpretation start? Didn’t Protestants also practice “no exception”?

Thanks

 

[Sonya]

God wants your dad to be happy, but not obeying Him will not make your dad happy. God teaches us how to be happy and when we don’t listen to God our sins cause pain to ourselves and to others; to the whole mystical body of Christ.

If I had to be alone by no fault of my own, the only way to heal would be redemptive suffering. Offering my sufferings with Jesus’s on the cross would be the only way to heal it. I first have to feel it. Christ felt every bit of His suffering, I was taught. Even though Jesus died and redeemed us, there is still more redemtive suffering left undone, which we must do.

As for exception, Christ didn’t say that if someone committs adultery on their spouse they can divorce and get married again. He spoke about marriages that were sinful, like ones between close relatives.

Annulment is not divorce as you know and it doesn’t make any exceptions to the permanence of marriage. All it is for as you know is when a marriage was not valid and that is different because conditions must exist for a marriage to be valid. I know that some of them are that a person must go into a marriage on his own free will and you must know who this person is that you are marrying. A person can’t be forced by parents to marry just because there is a baby involved and a person can’t make another person believe that they are rich just to get that person to marry them if they are really just penniless. Another example would be when Jacob thought he had married Rachel, but married Leah. That would have been invalid if he would have not let it be as he did. But he just took Rachel as a wife too and didn’t do anything about it.

Well I hope that helps somewhat and I am sure you will get more responses to make things more clear. Sorry if I couldn’t answer it better. God bless you and I am sorry to hear how much you must be going through with all the hardship.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

The Scripture passage indicated says that one may divorce in a situation where a spouse is unfaithful. However the Protestants add the re-marriage part to it which is not found in the Scriptures. As St. Paul indicates if you cannot remain single then reconcile with your spouse.

 

[Sirach14]

" Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage" are probably the main reason many Catholics leave the Church, more so than doctrine.
Also, these Catholics wo hit and run, don’t have a clue to what the Church teaches.
I spoke with a gentleman who told me he divorced his wife because he couldn’t stand the way she squeezed the tooth paste
The fact that God ordained marriage is a foreign concept to these people.

 

[space_ghost]

James_2:24:

I am from a broken family. My parents are divorced and my father remarried. He entered into a civil marriage when his annulment process failed.

I have a sister who left the Church and is now Protestant (Calvary Chapel). We got into the discussion of my father’s situation. I told her that I don’t accept and agree that they are married validly.

She asked me, “Don’t you think God would want him to be happy?” “I mean what if your wife went crazy after you married her, cheated on you, and then left you? Would you not be able to marry ever again?” “Doesn’t the Bible say that adultery is an exception for re-marriage?”

I answered, “Yes God would want him to be remarried. If my wife cheated on me after marriage and then left, i would have to remain single. The Bible does not teach that adultery is a case for remarrage”

I still struggle with… If my wife cheated on me after marriage and then left… Wouldn’t God allow for me to be remarried? Wouldn’t He want me to be happy? What if I couldn’t live alone and be happy?

Also can someone answer the question of the “exception clause” to marriage? And if this is a misinterpretation on the part of Protestants, when did this misinterpretation start? Didn’t Protestants also practice “no exception”?

Thanks

Stay your course… don’t be weakened by those who couldn’t honor the vows made to Christ in the presence of his church… i don’t pretend to speak to your personal experience… but i truly believe these are the moments of truth in our lives… I mean, my lord if we can’t keep a promise to God, (and i am not saying it’s easy) then when is our word worth anything… if we ask God’s forgiveness, then is our word good? You tell me… why should God take us at our word then… should he believe we are sincerely sorry and forgive us our sins, or is this just another “trust me i really mean it this time” failed promise… I have always wondered when the two people standing before a minister and promising to love, honer, be faithful, till death do they part, for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time, when does the laughter start… but it’s not funny… it’s sad… and i have taken the short answer of 2 wrongs don’t make a right and blown it into a big deal… sorry … peace…

 

[James_2_24]

Matthew 9:19 “A man who divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and remarries commits adultery”

How does one respond to this? I sort know the church’s teaching but don’t understand fully.

 

[Sonya]

Take a look at this site religioustolerance.org/div_noway.htmScroll all the way down to the very bottom and go up to conclusions and look under the definition of porneia. It’s under the green dot just above conclusions.

It doesn’t say that the scripture is talking about adultery as an exception, but that Jesus talks about marriage among near family. Take a look. I hope it helps.

 

[Sonya]

Take a look at this expaination: catholic-jhb.org.za/tracts/tract_12.htm .

Unchastity is not adultery in the Bible. It is a greek word that means porneia. Thus it means illicit unions, like near family members. I hope that helps

 

[rfk]

James_2:24:

Matthew 9:19 “A man who divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and remarries commits adultery”

How does one respond to this? I sort know the church’s teaching but don’t understand fully.

First, the verse is Mt 19:9 instead of the reverse. Might make it easier for people to find.
The Revised Standard Version has text similar to what you quoted:

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery."

However at the USCCB website, the New American Bible translates the passage as:

I say to you, 7 whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery."

The Douay-Rheims Bible quotes it as:

9 And I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that shall marry her that is put away, committeth adultery.

With the footnote: 9 “Except it be”… In the case of fornication, that is, of adultery, the wife may be put away: but even then the husband cannot marry another as long as the wife is living.

Now, I am no Bible expert. But when I read the three versions it seems like the truth is more nuanced than just reading text at face value. That is why I value looking at Catholic teaching and commentary on scripture to make sure I am steered on the straight path. I appreciated Sonya’s link.

 

[rfk]

I also go to the Index of Citations section in my copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and see that the verse Mt 19:9 is referenced in the following sections of the CCC: 2364, 1620, 2382 and 2053.

I can then read what Church teaching is on the subject:

2364 The married couple forms “the intimate partnership of life and love established by the Creator and governed by his laws; it is rooted in the conjugal covenant, that is, in their irrevocable personal consent.” Both give themselves definitively and totally to one another. They are no longer two; from now on they form one flesh. The covenant they freely contracted imposes on the spouses the obligation to preserve it as unique and indissoluble. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”

1620 Both the sacrament of Matrimony and virginity for the Kingdom of God come from the Lord himself. It is he who gives them meaning and grants them the grace which is indispensable for living them out in conformity with his will. Esteem of virginity for the sake of the kingdom and the Christian understanding of marriage are inseparable, and they reinforce each other:

Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it makes virginity more admirable and resplendent. What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good. The most excellent good is something even better than what is admitted to be good.

2382 The Lord Jesus insisted on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old Law.
Between the baptized, “a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death.”

2053 To this first reply Jesus adds a second: “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” This reply does not do away with the first: following Jesus Christ involves keeping the Commandments. The Law has not been abolished, but rather man is invited to rediscover it in the person of his Master who is its perfect fulfillment. In the three synoptic Gospels, Jesus’ call to the rich young man to follow him, in the obedience of a disciple and in the observance of the Commandments, is joined to the call to poverty and chastity. The evangelical counsels are inseparable from the Commandments.

I always figure I am safest when I try to understand the Bible within the context of Church teaching.