Marriage/Divorce/Annulments

[styrgwillidar]

Annulments are for healing? Are you kidding me? Annulments for most people are for only one reason. To allow them to get married again in the Church. Healing? Did anyone of you ever speak to a man or woman who had to go through this? I’ve met with at least five divorced Catholics who went through the annulment process. No one said it was “healing.”

What they did say was that it was difficult, opened old wounds, humiliating, degrading, cumbersome, and brought on more abuse from an ex-spouse. Healing was something never mentioned.

In fact the ONLY reason people said they went through the process was they wanted to get married again and avoid the guilt brought on by many of the “fellow” parishioners.

Try talking to women who have gone through divorce. If they still have children in school, ask them if most of the other parishioners stopped being friends and stopped socializing with them? Ask them if they suddenly felt like an outcast in their own Church?

I love how so many judge and abandon and cite Canon Law on divorces and annulments. I witnessed this member of my family go though this.

What is amazing is that once she started dating again, most of the parishioners returned as friends even though she has yet to go through the annulment.

I’ve never seen so many two-faced people in my life.

Bob,

I went through the process, it was very healing. It helped me a great deal in achieving understanding and peace of mind.

There was no one else involved, I’m single with no real interest in dating.

Please do not underestimate the value of the process, particularly in sorting through the confusion, sense of betrayal and disillusionment as well as the resentment one feels in the breakdown of a marriage.

 

[MaryT777]

I don’t care if you doubt it, it happened. It was the nun who heads up the tribunal office.

I was told by the tribunal secretary I must have done something wrong if my husband left me when I complained about the cost. Seriously. I believe every word you said.

I found a Canon attorney and found that most helpful. He told me he could annul any marriage and felt that any marriage that failed had something defective from the beginning.
He had a 100 percent success rate he said.

He truly said that as well.

I believe now some tribunals are dong it without charge which is a step in the right direction in my opinion.

Now I will “zip my mouth shut” before I say something more.

Mary.

 

[maryjk]

IWhen she is ready, she’ll go through the annulment process. Until then, it will be a civil remarriage. She needs comfort, love, support, healthcare, and a proper role model for her children. She does not get that on her own.

If she is marrying for health care and someone to take care of her and her children, I foresee many problems in the future.

And if she is worried about her ex might do if she applies for an annulment, I can’t imagine what he will do if she gets married.

 

[Horton]

I was given that suggestion by another. So I called the Archdiocese who said that using a Canon Lawyer (wow, did Jesus really intend for there to be Canon Lawyers in His Church?) would botch things up even more. So OK, back to having her do this on her own and feeling abused.

Everyone here can state what they want. But until you have to go through this with someone you have no idea of the pain and agony. Instead of finding solace, love and comfort from her church, we feels abandoned and abused and forced to go through the painful ordeal of divorce all over again.

You can make the arguments. You can state Canon Law. You can state Church teachings. But that just does not stop the hurt, the abuse, or make it any better.

In a perfect world, everyone would stay married and be happy. It’s not a perfect world and it’s getting worse with the attacks in this country on religious freedom by Obama and the Leftist Progressive Democrats and a corrupt Supreme Court.

When she is ready, she’ll go through the annulment process. Until then, it will be a civil remarriage. She needs comfort, love, support, healthcare, and a proper role model for her children. She does not get that on her own.

This is a woman SOOOOOOOO traumatized by what her ex-husband did to her but yet is getting married again? Do you not see the issues with this you may be part of the problem. Has SHE called to speak to a canon lawyer? Has SHE called the tribunal for information?

The thing I don’t understand at all with all of your posts on this thread, actually two things, one why are still Catholic if you hate the Church that “abuses” women so much. And two if you/she stay in the Church aren’t you worried about the state of her soul? Having people being friendly again is all & good, but shouldn’t the concern be to have a better relationship with God?

I’ve been through the process and it hurt, but it healed far more than is hurt. It helped so much I became an advocate for those going through the process. Maybe she needs to get an account on CAF and get information that isn’t filtered through hate.