Marriage ends at death?

[Polaris]

I do not know if this is the right place to post this question but here goes. First I would like to say I respect the Catholic Church the most because they have the highest standard of Marriage out of all the Christian churches, but why does the church teach that marriage ends at death? How can the effects of a sacrament end? If my wife was brain dead rotting in some bed the church would say that I am still married, but because she is physically dead they tell me I should move on and basically forget about her. They say that the effects of the marriage are gone. I cannot believe this. Is it not a sacrament? All the other sacraments are eternal in there effects. And as for the effects being gone I thought one of the effects was the mutual helping of each other to grow closer to G_d. Well I was terrified my whole life until I met my wife. I trusted no one and thought that everyone was basically evil and that I could only trust in myself to be honest. Now I live my life trying to see Chr_st in everyone because of her. I am still doing this and it is her memory that drives me to love. Yes a memory! A memory in the ancient sense is an action that brings the past physically to the present, not a repeat but the same event. The Passover or the Eucharist being a prime example of a memory that was also sanctified by G_d. Yet for the Sacrament of Marriage the memory means nothing and it is not sanctified.
Another question is since when did death seperate us are we not all part of the body of Chr_st? Yes I also know what J_s_s said that we are neither given nor take in marriage in the next life but we will be like the angels. Yet this confuses me more, because that makes sense only until the resurrection, I thought I was going to get a glorified body like the one that Adam and Eve had before the fall. Did not G_d create man and woman before the fall and that was the first Marriage. Yet now Marriage is reduced to sixty years if you’re lucky and four if not. Also if death ends marriage what about Chr_st’s marriage to the church? J_s_s died does that mean that H_s Marriage is over and our salvation is a sham?

I apologize if this question sounds a little angry. I am just sick and tired of people including a priest telling me to move on with my life because I am so young. I am not depressed, I do not long for death and in fact I am actually quite happy with the few years I had. Yet I am told constantly that I will not have a full life unless I remarry. To you people I say I am married and I only want to have children with my one true wife that waits in heaven for her ever-pigheaded husband ME!

Thanks for everyone who tries to answer some of these questions.

Sincerely
Polaris

 

[Lazerlike42]

Our glorified bodies won’t be like those before the fall, they will be like nothing we have ever seen or could imagine. Hopefully that takes care of that.

Now what I think you need here is a crash course in Theology of the Body. I think it will help tremendously. Here goes…

We are made in God’s image. Now, does that mean that I individually am made in His image? In a certain sense, yes it does. However, that only goes so far. I, a man, am different from my mother, a woman. We are just different. So physically, we are not individually made in God’s image, because we can see that there are obvious physical differences between people. So what other way can we take this? Let’s read Genesis 1:27 - “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” So here we see that when we are told God created man in His image, it indicates that part of God’s image is that man was created both male and female. What does this mean?

Let’s take a look at God. God consists of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son. You see, God exists as the eternal outpouring of love between the Father and the Son. The Father and the Son love each other so much, that their love actually becomes a third person: the Holy Spirit.

Going back to man, we can now see the connection. We are created, male and female, in His image in that a couple in a true marriage is the very image of God, not in the sense that they look like God, but in the sense that they represent the truth of what God is. Man and woman love each other so much that their love actually becomes a third person: Junior! (This is consequently why the Church teaches against contraception: if the love is hindered in any way that it cannot produce a third person, the marriage ceases to be an image of God.)

Now marriage is a Sacrament in that it conveys grace. In all the other Sacraments, people easily see where the grace comes from, but in marriage, people often have a hard time seeing how grace comes through the marriage. It comes through in this way: through marriage, we are better able to understand God. We go through our married lives being the very image of God, and we can learn so much about Him by looking at our [true and whole (not secular)] marriages. The reason that there is no marriage in Heaven is that marriage as a means of grace is meant to help prepare us for union with God. It is meant to teach us about the union with God that we will ultimately have. When we are in Heaven, we have that union. The marriage is only an image of this union, the Image of God. But in Heaven we have actual union with God, and through Him, with the entire communion of Saints. It’s not so much that there is no marriage in Heaven as that there is a universal marriage in Heaven, a “marriage” between all the communion of Saints. It is just like in Heaven, priests will no longer be priests. All the Sacraments will “end” in Heaven.

Now the Church permits remarriage after death because once the loved one has died, they are in union with God (hopefully!). Not only this, the Sacramental nature on earth of marriage is to image and represent God. Without two people, this does not happen. God’s image is not shown in marriage any longer, because there is just one person physically here on earth, There is no physical communion. So remarriage is acceptable because it once more shows the image of God.

Of course, if you do not wish to remarry and to hold on to the memory of your wife, there is nothing wrong with that. But you should be comforted to know that your wife is not so much no longer married to you as that she is married to you in an even fuller sense, a sense that will only be eclipsed when you join her in God’s presence.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Polaris:

I do not know if this is the right place to post this question but here goes. First I would like to say I respect the Catholic Church the most because they have the highest standard of Marriage out of all the Christian churches, but why does the church teach that marriage ends at death? How can the effects of a sacrament end? If my wife was brain dead rotting in some bed the church would say that I am still married, but because she is physically dead they tell me I should move on and basically forget about her. They say that the effects of the marriage are gone. I cannot believe this. Is it not a sacrament? All the other sacraments are eternal in there effects. And as for the effects being gone I thought one of the effects was the mutual helping of each other to grow closer to G_d. Well I was terrified my whole life until I met my wife. I trusted no one and thought that everyone was basically evil and that I could only trust in myself to be honest. Now I live my life trying to see Chr_st in everyone because of her. I am still doing this and it is her memory that drives me to love. Yes a memory! A memory in the ancient sense is an action that brings the past physically to the present, not a repeat but the same event. The Passover or the Eucharist being a prime example of a memory that was also sanctified by G_d. Yet for the Sacrament of Marriage the memory means nothing and it is not sanctified.
Another question is since when did death seperate us are we not all part of the body of Chr_st? Yes I also know what J_s_s said that we are neither given nor take in marriage in the next life but we will be like the angels. Yet this confuses me more, because that makes sense only until the resurrection, I thought I was going to get a glorified body like the one that Adam and Eve had before the fall. Did not G_d create man and woman before the fall and that was the first Marriage. Yet now Marriage is reduced to sixty years if you’re lucky and four if not. Also if death ends marriage what about Chr_st’s marriage to the church? J_s_s died does that mean that H_s Marriage is over and our salvation is a sham?

I apologize if this question sounds a little angry. I am just sick and tired of people including a priest telling me to move on with my life because I am so young. I am not depressed, I do not long for death and in fact I am actually quite happy with the few years I had. Yet I am told constantly that I will not have a full life unless I remarry. To you people I say I am married and I only want to have children with my one true wife that waits in heaven for her ever-pigheaded husband ME!

Thanks for everyone who tries to answer some of these questions.

Sincerely
Polaris

“I am told constantly that I will not have a full life unless I remarry.” That is not true any person can live a full and active life in the service of Christ as a single person. The reason the Church teaches that Marriage ends in death is that Christ Himself said that in Heaven we will not be married or given in marriage. Off the top of my head I do not remember the exact Scripture passage.

 

[crobynb]

Polaris -

I must say I have had my own issues with this thought. I presented my feelings in another post and was not really comforted by what I read from others.

However . . . I was comforted by the words of Friar Jim from American Catholic’s E-spirations. It was pretty ironic that I was feeling blue about this and then I read his article. I will share the links with you and maybe it will help you with the feelings of our marriages and love relationships extending into heaven. .

/www.americancatholic.org/e-News/FriarJack/fj011606.asp

Here is the next week’s article, read if you like but for the heaven question purposes - please scroll down to “Friar Jim’s Inbox” section and there are a few question/answer replies that deal with the topic as well. I found them to be informative.

www.americancatholic.org/e-News/FriarJack/fj013006.asp

Let me know if you like these. Take care!

 

[setter]

“I am told constantly that I will not have a full life unless I remarry.” That is not true any person can live a full and active life in the service of Christ as a single person. The reason the Church teaches that Marriage ends in death is that Christ Himself said that in Heaven we will not be married or given in marriage. Off the top of my head I do not remember the exact Scripture passage.

Here you go:

“There were seven brothers; the first took a wife, and when he died left no children; and the second took her, and died, leaving no children; and the third likewise; and the seven left no children. Last of all the woman also died. In the resurrection whose wife will she be? For the seven had her as wife." Jesus said to them, "Is not this why you are wrong, that you know neither the scriptures nor the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.” Mark 12:20-25

Not to be a further wet blanket…but as St. Paul points out, “the form of this world is passing away”, including the co-creative purpose and provisional help for the salvation of souls of the sacrament of marriage:

“I mean, brethren, the appointed time has grown very short; from now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the form of this world is passing away.” 1 Cor. 7:29-31

 

[SMHW]

Polaris:

… they tell me I should move on and basically forget about her. They say that the effects of the marriage are gone. I cannot believe this. Is it not a sacrament? All the other sacraments are eternal in there effects. And as for the effects being gone I thought one of the effects was the mutual helping of each other to grow closer to G_d. Well I was terrified my whole life until I met my wife. I trusted no one and thought that everyone was basically evil and that I could only trust in myself to be honest. Now I live my life trying to see Chr_st in everyone because of her. I am still doing this and it is her memory that drives me to love.

First of all, let me say I am deeply, deeply sorry for your loss.

If anyone, Church or otherwise, is telling you that you must move on, forget your wife, and find someone new then they are being highly insensitive. But they probably have your best interests at heart and are really trying to comfort you.

Another question is since when did death seperate us are we not all part of the body of Chr_st? Yes I also know what J_s_s said that we are neither given nor take in marriage in the next life but we will be like the angels. Yet this confuses me more, because that makes sense only until the resurrection

No. Death did not seperate you. Except for physically. And in some sense you will be physically re-united at the resurrection. But we can only take the Lord at His word and accept that the physical unity spouses share on earth is unnecessary in heaven because we will have something better. There is no need for procreation. Matrimony doesn’t so much end as it is superseded.

I can only speculate, but I think that one of the duties of those in heaven must be to pray for the salvation of their loved ones still on earth. Those of us on earth are supposed to pray for the souls of those going through the state of purgatory.

I thought I was going to get a glorified body like the one that Adam and Eve had before the fall. Did not G_d create man and woman before the fall and that was the first Marriage.

It’s not my understanding that Adam and Eve had glorified bodies. I understand that marriage was always destined to be a temporary arrangement, even before the fall.

To you people I say I am married and I only want to have children with my one true wife that waits in heaven for her ever-pigheaded husband ME!

I’m guessing you and your wife did not have children. I am sorry if you didn’t and you wanted them.