marriage in danger

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husband has agreed to go to the retrouville in 2 weeks,
counselor told him to “give it a chance” . please pray that he really does. His heart is so closed to thinkiing that he could feel that "romantic husband -wife love again. he has not made much effort so far, most his effort has been trying to distance himself.
thank you god that he has agreed to at least go !
hope this is a good start.
 
mommabear said:
a few months ago my husband told me that after 18 years of marriage and 2children that he does not want to “try” anymore, has “tried” and wants to find someone new. we are signed up for the retroviulle next month. Please pray that his heart becomes more open to Gods grace to help revive and save our marriage.
He too is catholic, we were married in the church and he attends mass almost every day during lent.
I am not ready to give up and have told him so.
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Wow. Bummer!

I have heard many good things about Retoviulle and have no doubts about its effectiveness.

Something else to consider: You may have heard in the news about a Protestant preacher who challenged his congregation to have sex (married only) for 30 days as a way to combat the high divorce rates.

We are married 23 years. Our marriage like many others at the 20 year point had fallen in to a bad pattern. Fighting about little stuff, (I work & DW farms so we have this as an added stresser) disagreements about kids ( 3) taking sides, little to no sex (once or twice a month), going to bed at different times & me occasionally going out to the bars or supper without including her.

One day I was reading about marital happiness on a internet article as it was correlated sexual activity and the more the better. The statement was made that the very few folks who reported for the longterm almost daily sex were off the charts!

Not wanting to end up in divorce I resolved to try it. Guess what, all the other little stuff that is keeping you apart seems to melt away and your other behaviors are easy to modify!

After 2.5 years of it I think we would report that we are almost off the charts! (Clearly though you have to change other things)
 
Norseman82 said:
Is there a physically fit no-nonsense priest who can bench more than your husband can?
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I love this one! I laughed when I read it. Thanks

As far as the OP’s situation, I agree if your husband is going to daily mass and still thinks its OK to leave you and the children he must have been using mass to get some extra sleep because he is totally missing the point. Jesus suffered and died on the cross for our sins - not his. It is the ultimate act of love - the ultimate sacrifice and happens again at every mass. Just because he is not “happy” with your marriage or with his responsibilities or whatever is no reason to bail out on his family. All marriages have tough times that spouses need to get through. God promised to never give us more than we can endure. He also promised his grace to aid us if we ask.

My prayers are with you and your family as you go through this tough time. Never give up because Jesus never will.

Andy
 
mommabear said:
a few months ago my husband told me that after 18 years of marriage and 2children that he does not want to “try” anymore, has “tried” and wants to find someone new. we are signed up for the retroviulle next month. Please pray that his heart becomes more open to Gods grace to help revive and save our marriage.
He too is catholic, we were married in the church and he attends mass almost every day during lent.
I am not ready to give up and have told him so.
Click to expand...
 
mommabear said:
a few months ago my husband told me that after 18 years of marriage and 2children that he does not want to “try” anymore, has “tried” and wants to find someone new. we are signed up for the retroviulle next month. Please pray that his heart becomes more open to Gods grace to help revive and save our marriage.
He too is catholic, we were married in the church and he attends mass almost every day during lent.
I am not ready to give up and have told him so.
Click to expand...
I know how tough marriage is. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. We have a two year old whom we love so much. It took us 10 years to have her, she is a miracle to us.
Anyw:) ays, my husband goes to mass with me every Sunday, but he has not received Communion in over 3 years. I am afraid he is going to fall away from the Faith. We have had our share in crosses, poverty especially. He cant seem to hold down a job. He is currently working full-time, but it is never enough money to support us. There are lots of jobs here, but I guess he’s not motivated. I am working part-time to help with the finances.
I will pray for you!
 
we were supposed to go to the Retrouville weekend but my hb said he had too much work,… wanted to reschedule,( it wont be for a few more months) Please pray for my patience!. maybe he isn’t ready to commit to healing our marriage.
 
mommabear said:
we were supposed to go to the Retrouville weekend but my hb said he had too much work,… wanted to reschedule,( it wont be for a few more months) Please pray for my patience!. maybe he isn’t ready to commit to healing our marriage.
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Hang in there MB. Praying the Holy Spirit will guide you and you husband.
 
mommabear said:
a few months ago my husband told me that after 18 years of marriage and 2children that he does not want to “try” anymore, has “tried” and wants to find someone new. we are signed up for the retroviulle next month. Please pray that his heart becomes more open to Gods grace to help revive and save our marriage.
He too is catholic, we were married in the church and he attends mass almost every day during lent.
I am not ready to give up and have told him so.
Click to expand...
Praying for you both!
 
mommabear said:
a month ago I did, after being repeatedly told that I did this or that wrong 10-15-20 years ago. I apologized for these things, many which i don’t even remember. I also sought out reconcilliation and confessed any wrong on my part. since then I have asked god to show me what I need to do . how I need to change.
thanks.
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I need to address this point.

Sometimes the “bringing up” of things that happened a long time ago can mean one - or both - of two things:
  1. It could signal a problem in communication
  2. It could be a form of emotional abuse
 
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