Marriage in ruins of Catholic church?

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Ribenaham

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I have recently got engaged and am currently looking at potential churches to get married in.

In the process I had a thought about some beautiful ruins of an Abbey, where the parish often celebrate the Mass. Which led me to think about the possibility of having the marriage service* in church ruins. Is this allowed by the Church? Of course, I imagine it would also come down to getting permission from the local parish, so I am asking in principle if this would be considered a valid church Marriage?

*Service not Mass, as my fiance is not baptised

I have a lot of sentimental feelings about this particular Abbey for several reasons, but naturally I am not going to arrange the wedding there if it wouldn’t be considered a church wedding!

I am unsure if this is the correct section to post this, apologies if not…
 
"Can. 1118 §1. A marriage between Catholics or between a Catholic party and a non-Catholic baptized party is to be celebrated in a parish church. It can be celebrated in another church or oratory with the permission of the local ordinary or pastor.

§2. The local ordinary can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place."

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So it looks like you can, so long as you get permission,

Congratulations on your engagement and God bless!
 
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Thank you for your reply.

I’ll do some research to see if it is possible to get permission for this Abbey then. Thank you again, for both the reply and the congratulations! 🙂
 
It would also depend on the Civil Law of the country you are in as to whether or not such a marriage would be legally recognised. Some countries require wedding venues to be registered
 
Why search for a church? Why wouldn’t you be getting married in your parish church, or that of your fiance?
 
and just for fun … the catholic church is the only institution in the history of the world that has affirmed Christ’s position on marriage and has not changed since Jesus told us what marriage is about. If anyone takes marriage seriously, it’s the catholic church.
 
Sounds like a pretty awesome idea. Yep, just get permissions first.
 
so, if you want to get married in the Abbey, that is not a customary location, catholics like being married in the church, so every priest, deacon and bishop will be gunning for the ceremony in the church.

you can get a special dispensation to have a catholic ceremony outside of the physical church itself, but, see above, they really, really prefer you to have a wedding inside the catholic church.

What you are doing is what is known as an “attempted marriage” as you’re seeking marriage civilly and outside the norm of sacraments outside the church.

no worries about getting married in the abby, your marriage will not be held valid in the eyes of the church, nor will it be sacramental and, if in marital relations without the true marriage, Jesus says that’s just plain ol’ fornication. So, we’d want to get our invalid marriage, validated … easy peasy, go to the church, talk with the deacon or priest, and go through the marriage prep that will validate your marriage. The catholic church loves, loves, loves, marriage, we’re the only ones who take it so seriously for so long (since Jesus told us about marriage).

if you go the abbey route and then validate your marriage later, you’d end up in a good place, though a bit round-about way.

the best option would be simply to go through the marriage prep classes at your parish and then get married in your parish, and then, as the important part is done, then you can have the “fun” and have a ceremony at the abbey, that way, in your marriage, you’ll be putting God’s priorities before yours and that will put your marriage off on the right foot.

and, as a total bonus round, later, in your marriage, as you witness to your wife how you love her as God loves her, maybe she’ll be stirred to come into the church through Initiation, then once she’s baptized, your marriage will have an auto-upgrade to sacramental! Wow! Go for it!

Blessings brother
 
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Thank you all for your replies.

As my fiance is not baptised he doesn’t have a parish as such and I would like to get married in the parish I grew up in. However booking a suitable date is proving to be an issue due to priest availabilty (or lack of) hence us looking elsewhere in the area for other churches.

Although saying that, as far as I’m aware there is no necessity to get married in your own parish if you don’t wish and if another parish is able to accommodate you of course.
 
Thank you for your in depth response. I was unsure as they do hold Mass in the Abbey but that does not necessarily mean a marriage wohld be valid there.

I think you may be correct to stick with a normal Church, if only to be sure of our standing!
 
And with the permission of your pastor 🙂

One thing, when you say “ruins”, if you have elderly family members will they be able to navigate, sit, etc?

Also, is there some sort of cover in case it rains?
 
yes, any catholic parish will do, but each one most likely will have their own stipulations … such as in my parish, they require the groom or bride to be a registered parishoner for at least 6 months, and the priest and deacon should at least be able to recognize your face from your regular mass attendance on sundays (that’s just a personal relations thing though)
 
people will probably shoot me, maybe even throw a few stones, but, my personal advice, unfounded of course … have a beautiful wedding at the Abbey, go all out, make it wonderful for your new wife, then take care of the “paperwork” and the boring stuff at the church and get it convalidated (make a promise to yourself to do it within the first year of marriage)

[ducking]

ducking from stones because my advice is not good, so a little scandalous as it may lead you or others into sin … just sticking this out there because it’s about the modern times and realistic stuff.
 
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Oh! That sort of changes things.

gah!

(bonk self on head)

Blessings Sister! 🤣
 
Haha not a problem, your advice doesn’t change and it’s very helpful.

I do think I may go for a normal church wedding and perhaps have a vow renewal at the Abbey in the future (assuming permission would be granted for that of course). Just to assure myself that the wedding is valid and that there is nothing to fret about!

Also as mentioned above it’s not very practical for elderly or disabled guests to have the wedding in a ruined building!
 
OP, it kind of sounds like your question may be better aimed at a priest.

From the sounds of it: If you do the paperwork on the front end and get permission - valid , if not then - not valid. Still sounds like a priest needs weigh in though.
 
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