Marriage In Trouble

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austengirl

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Hello. I would like to request prayer for our marriage. It has gotten to the point that I’m considering leaving after finally realizing how abusive my husband has been and the toll it’s taken on me and our children. I have asked God to change me and increase my love for my husband, but nothing has happened yet and I’m falling into despair. Adding to this stress is I’m grieving the loss of my father who died three months ago after a prolonged illness. Thank you.
 
It is not my place or that of anyone else to tell you what to do…
but … I would never remain in an abusive marriage …
I know what it can do to people… then when you leave things can get very difficult…
so it’s a really,really tough question… seek support before you do anything…
I know things are easier said than done…
 
Praying for you

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help and sought your intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I hasten to you. O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you, I come; before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, do not despise my petition, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
Pray for me, Saint Francis Xavier, that I may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
 
In the beginning it was not so.

Please do not give in to despair.

God hates Divorce.

Please try again, and again. Never ever give up. Pray the Rosary daily, attend mass daily. (yes, every day) Pray without stopping. Marriage is bigger than something than can be walked away on. You and your husband are doing the work of God. Raising your children in the Church is everything.

Find a Marriage Encounter group. Join and attend. Try to remember the beginning so you can reconnect with each other.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, AMEN.
 
REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
Please know that my heart goes out to you and I will pray.
Memorare

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.
 
austengirl said:
Hello. I would like to request prayer for our marriage. It has gotten to the point that I’m considering leaving after finally realizing how abusive my husband has been and the toll it’s taken on me and our children. I have asked God to change me and increase my love for my husband, but nothing has happened yet and I’m falling into despair. Adding to this stress is I’m grieving the loss of my father who died three months ago after a prolonged illness. Thank you.
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Please be safe. If your husband is abusing you physically make a plan to get away from him. Of course keep praying, but do it from a safe distance. God does hate divorce, but I don’t think he is a fan of spousal abuse ethier.
 
austengirl said:
Hello. I would like to request prayer for our marriage. It has gotten to the point that I’m considering leaving after finally realizing how abusive my husband has been and the toll it’s taken on me and our children. I have asked God to change me and increase my love for my husband, but nothing has happened yet and I’m falling into despair. Adding to this stress is I’m grieving the loss of my father who died three months ago after a prolonged illness. Thank you.
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You need to think long and hard before ending a marriage, especially one with children in it. Children from divorced families are much more likely to fall into drugs, promiscuous sex, homosexuality, commit suicide,etc… Trust me I know.

You said that just now realized how abusive he is. That tells me the abuse is not physical, but “Verbal” or “Mental”. What is mentally abusive to one person may not be to another. You need to get counciling and exhaust every effort to save your marriage. But realize if you divorce your husband your children WILL suffer the consiquences. I am stressing this because it is absolutely true, and society refuses to acknowledge it. As a result people divorce not realizing the damage it will cause their children.
 
For the happy repose of the soul of your father:

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord. Let perpetual Light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.
SuzanneD said:
Please be safe. … Of course keep praying, but do it from a safe distance.
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For health, safety, and wisdom for you, for healing for your husband and your marriage, and for the well-being of your children and other witnesses:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of Virgins, my mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer them. Amen.

For hope for you, from Psalm 42:

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God.
 
Divorce is a hard sell, but you need to protect yourself and your children. My suggestion would be to separate yourself from this relationship for awhile. Get a safe place to be and insist on counseling. If he is abusive to you, he may also be hurting the kids. Not all children from divorce end up on drugs and all of that. But they may need counseling as well.

I went through a nasty divorce after a abusive marriage. But it didn’t end there. Because our daughter was young (2 1/2 years old at the time) and he was granted very liberal visitation rights, I had to keep in contact with him for years. He didn’t change during that time. He remained abusive, and used that time to hurt me all the more. So, be aware of the landmines out there. Allow God to help you through this time. :gopray:
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†
 
Christy_Beth said:
Code: 
  Not all children from divorce end up on drugs and all of that.  :
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True. But the odds are staggering that they will. I am sorry to rain on anyone’s parade with reality. I too once convinced myself the children will be o.k. That gave me little comfort when I found out my 15 year old Daughter was having sex with a 48 yr old man from church. And then found myself talking to police about arresting him.

The house of cards was also shattered when my 17 year old step son had to leave high school early to protect the other kids from the best drug dealer in school. you know the guy who can get the really good sh*t. Or when he lost a full ride scholarship, or when we didn’t hear from him for almost a year only to get a call from him in jail because he was charged with drug dealing. It wasn’t anything anyone did. He said it was all because he never saw his dad and I came and took his Mom’s attention from him.

Are you willing to be single until the kids are grown? this is the next best option. Your kids will resent anyone you decide to marry. No matter how wonderful his truly is.
Christy_Beth said:
If he is abusive to you, he may also be hurting the kids.
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It amazes me how conditioned to divorce we all are. The woman never said anything about him abusing the kids. Yet I see more then one reply like this.Even if she did we don’t know the real situation. A man will admit it’s him when he wants to leave a marriage. A woman will typically accuse her husband of abuse when she simply wants to leave. I’m not saying that’s what’s happening. But for Catholic Christians on a catholic spiritual forum to further encourage a woman to leave her husband and assume worse things are happening then she even said is really telling of how far our society is from God.
 
It is so sad what you are going through and I will be praying daily for God to move in this situation. Lord, hear our prayers. :signofcross:Amen
Please do not stay where you or your children are not safe!
For your safety and the safety of your children, we pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayers. Amen
 
austengirl said:
Hello. I would like to request prayer for our marriage. It has gotten to the point that I’m considering leaving after finally realizing how abusive my husband has been and the toll it’s taken on me and our children. I have asked God to change me and increase my love for my husband, but nothing has happened yet and I’m falling into despair. Adding to this stress is I’m grieving the loss of my father who died three months ago after a prolonged illness. Thank you.
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I am truely sorry for the loss of your father.

I’m curious if you realize your husband is abusive and is the problem, why are you praying for God to change you? to increase your love for your husband? And not for your husband to change?
 
Men and women are obviously different. More times than not, I want to help by fixing the situation when only prayer can help. I hope the words I spoke were inspired from the Holy Spirit and are meant to help. I prayed for the situation today at Mass. And I will continue to do so.
 
Dear ‘austengirl’,

I am so sorry to hear that you have been suffering in this way. Mental abuse is so incredibly destructive - and I know because I lived with it for years (my abuser was my father) - that I shall pray hard for you all day every day, just to stop your husband hurting you any more.

St. Michael the Archangel, please stand between ‘austengirl’ and her children, and her husband/their father. Never let him harm them again.

For, as you are mighty, St. Michael our Heavenly protector, so this man is small. We ask in Jesus’s and your own name that he remembers this.

Amen.
 
Continued daily prayers for God to resolve this situation and that His will be done. Through Christ our Lord. Amen
 
It’s a really tough call… your damed if you do and damed if you don’t…
…
Find support from family or anyone before you move…
I would rather move that be belted every day…
 
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