Marriage intimacy question

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LittleMother

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Is touching oneself in the context of the marriage act morally permissable?
 
LittleMother said:
Is touching oneself in the context of the marriage act morally permissable?
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From my understanding and from what I have heard on this forum about this topic, it is ok. If you need to manually pleasure yourself to achieve orgasm during the act, this is OK…as long as you are having licit sex within marriage and are finishing in the proper way.

This is what I have heard.
 
I’m not sure what “finishing in the proper way” means for the wife…

😊
 
Seatuck said:
Husband needs to finish inside his wife as part of intercourse.
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Yes, this is what I meant. As for the wife’s orgasm, apparently it is licit to manually stimulate it during intercourse to achieve orgasm. After intercourse, if the woman has not finished, it is licit for the husband to help his wife achieve orgasm. But, as has been said, the man must finish inside his wife’s vagina for it to licit.
 
the husband must also remain present and attentive while the wife is doing this .
 
So would the self-stimulation only be acceptable during actual intercourse? & not before or after even with both husband and wife together?
 
I am stumped. What to do if the husband is consistently, or a significant number of times, not cooperating to help the wife?
 
Pius XII says:
The same Creator, Who in His bounty and wisdom willed to make use of the work of man and woman, by uniting them in matrimony, for the preservation and propagation of the human race, has also decreed that in this function the parties should experience pleasure and happiness of body and spirit. Husband and wife, therefore, by seeking and enjoying this pleasure do no wrong whatever. They accept what the Creator has destined for them.
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ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/P511029.HTM
 
I am sorry, am I being too vague… I am trying to be discreet in my phrasing and I seem to not be getting my questions across. It is not the problem of a less than helpful husband at all. I actually have a few different questions about it.

One is if it would be acceptable foreplay, if that is mutually enjoyable, visually for the husband and emotionally for the wife (to be visually arousing him in this way.) If things continue on to the husband finishing the way it is intended, is that ok?

Another question was if the husband has to leave the room momentarily, can the wife continue with this stimulation to not “loose what has been gained” just for the moment that he is gone, then continuing on with him? Sometimes if interrupted it’s back to square one which can be very frustrating for both husband and wife.

The last question, which I think has already been answered was during the actual act, if for some reason it makes more sense (him having physical issues with his hands for instance) for the wife to add the extra stimulation needed is that morally acceptable?
 
This last post helps a lot. The pleasurable aspect is good. It is what God intended. Remain open to life by completing the act properly. If you need additional support after the husban has finished, you are free to proceed.
 
I’m sure that Ron Conte will be along soon to set you folks straight. :rolleyes:
 
There is a book called “Good News About Sex and Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions About Catholic Teaching” by Christopher West, and it deals with a lot of these issues. It’s based on Theology of the Body by Pop John Paul II.
 
dreamingformore said:
There is a book called “Good News About Sex and Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions About Catholic Teaching” by Christopher West, and it deals with a lot of these issues. It’s based on Theology of the Body by Pop John Paul II.
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Good book…

But I’m not sure if do it yourself is permitted at all. DH can help you but you guys need to be with each other at the time, so perhaps plan it when distractions will be a minimum.
 
We do look for those times, but with young children it’s impossible to completely avoid disruptions.
 
LittleMother said:
We do look for those times, but with young children it’s impossible to completely avoid disruptions.
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Yes, one of my children seems to have a radar that alerts him to his parents needing intimate time. It never fails. No matter how long the children have been asleep peacefully in their beds, halfway into the ‘grownup time’, he will start howling at the door. 🤷
So I understand your pain very well. I think that everything you are asking here can be answered with ‘yes, it is permissable’. What you are experiencing, and the methods you are using are all very common for parents/lovers who are short on time and privacy.

Oh, and by way of warning, I want to let you know that soon enough a certain poster will show up in this thread with vague and indirect posts that basically amount to saying any type of contact between the husband’s body and the wife’s body that is not strictly genital-to-genital contact is illicit and sinful. He may offer his personal website links. His views do not have an imprimatur, and they are not to be taken as official Church teachings.
If you find that you are still worried, ask your priest. You can ask from behind the screen at confession if it makes you feel more comfortable.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Good book…

But I’m not sure if do it yourself is permitted at all. DH can help you but you guys need to be with each other at the time, so perhaps plan it when distractions will be a minimum.
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I don’t think she is talking about DIY, although your choice of words made me laugh. 😃
What I understood her to mean was, during intercourse, may she give her husband a helping hand in his quest to pleasure her. From what I have read and been counseled, this is permissable, as long as it is within the context of the marital act. Whether it is for her arousal or his, or to help achieve a climax when intercourse alone is not going to make one possible, these are all contexts where her hands on her body is not in any way masturbatory. I could be wrong, however, so if I am, I do apologize.
 
yeah im sure its fine, but i think you should have your husband do it for you.
 
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