A deacon from another parish in our diocese recently witnessed a marriage outside of the Mass at our Parish. Among the irregularities is the fact that the Bride and Groom wrote their own marriage vows, which seem to have omitted any mention of God, the Church, etc… Is their marriage valid?
Friend, no one on here can determine whether or not their marriage was valid. For starters, the Church always assumes validity, until proven otherwise. But, that determination is not up to random strangers on a message board far removed from the situation. It’s up to a diocesan tribunal to determine, if, AND ONLY IF, the case is even brought before them.
That said, it’s a dubious practice, at best. For starters, it sets his successor up for failure, as someone has to come in and be the bearer of bad news that this practice is no longer allowed. Second, it scandalizes the faithful.
Also, are you SURE they wrote their own vows? There are a couple of different forms for the exchange of consent in the United States (commonly referred to as the exchange of vows). The most common goes like this:
“I, N., take you, N., to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”
Nothing in there about God or the Church. And, there is good reason, theologically speaking. Marriage is, as Pope John Paul II called it, the “primordial sacrament.” In other words, it predates both the coming of Christ and the Church. Millions of people were in valid marriages before the coming of Christ. Now, to be sure, Christ took this institution called marriage and raised it to the dignity of a sacrament. But, technically speaking, a marriage can be valid and not be sacramental. In fact, this happens all the time. The only time a valid marriage is also sacramental is when both the bride and groom are baptized Christians.
