Marriage is a Decision in Faith

[goforgoal]

Marriage is a Decision in Faith.
Signs and Conditions for discernment to Married Life:

1. A man and woman possess sufficient emotional psychological, affective, and sexual maturity.
2. Evident in their relationship are adequate self-understanding, knowledge of each other and sense of self-identity.
3. The couple experience interdependence; that is, mutual self-surrender, co-equality, and reciprocity within male-female complementarity.
4. They exhibit a sufficent degree of social, personal, and sexual complementarity.
5. Each partner values personal solitude and privacy.
6. The couple posess compatible religious convictions and spiritual interests.
7. Their interaction gives indication that they will be able to share wedded life in evangelicial peace and harmony.
8. The man and the woman truly love each other in such a way that the inner dymanics of that love impel them toward a conjugal covenant for the rest of their lives.
9. The couple have a meaningful sense that God is calling them together in matrimony.
10. They experience an existential inability to become otherwise. They believe that in order to mature into the person whom God is destining them to be, they have to do so as a married couple.

When all ten principles coexist–although in varying degrees–they give convincing indication that God may indeed be calling a man and woman to consecrate themselves in marriage to each other and to Christ.

**Ultimately the decison to marry is an option taken in faith:

-Faith in God and each other
-Faith tried in te crucible of time
-Faith attested by signs
-Faith seeking understanding
-Faith which remains dark and risk-filled yet impelling
-Faith that prompts the heart to recognize reasons that reason could never articulate

Questions to ask oneself when considering marriage:

1. Am I setting my love for my future spouse and my committment to Christ in opposition to each other?
2. Can I situate my love for my future husband or wife in the context of my relationship with Jesus?
3. In pondering our conjugal life, do I forsee basic harmony between my family life and other ministerial involvements? Or do I see only excessive tension or irresolvable conflict between these two aspects of my spiritual journey?

Marriage

The vocation to marriage comprises two callings: One to matrimony, to matrimony in general as a basic lifestyle; the other, to marriage with a specific preson as one’s lifetime partner.

God calls each spouse to a personal transformation into his image and as a couple, God calls both spouses to participate directly in one another’s deification. Both as individuals and as a couple the man and woman celebrate their consecration to Christ in the sacrament of matrimony.

The consecration is three fold
a) Marriage deepens the baptismal consecration of each one, enabling them to deepen their consecration to God.

b) The spouses consecrate themselves to each other, declairing that God will sanctify them through one another.

c) In marriage God consecrates them specifically as a couple–as “one” to God.

Marriage is a mutual Vocation and it is mysterious
“for this reason a man shall cleave to his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.” Eph.5:31-32…This is a great mystery

Authentic Vocational Awareness–Signs

1. Realistic attitude on the part of each partner toward his/her childhood and adolescent years, nature of family systems, willingness for mutual exploration.
2. Appropriate balance of opposites within each partner. ie/ autonomy and intimacy, dependence and independence, union with others and personal uniqueness, feelings, and logic.
3. Realistic expectations of each other and of the relationship itself.

 

[Stephentlig]

I’ve tryed this vocation, and to be honest it brought me no peace what so ever.

for me ( and I pray this does not be perceived as harsh ) having to deal with another personality other than my own proves very difficult indeed. when ones ideas no longer conform to the worlds
( keeping in mind i’ve still got a lot of dying to the self to do ) 99.356% of women I’ve met our conversations always ended in a debate and usually that debate would be them going against one of the churchs teachings, :slapfight: whether it be on pre-martial sex which ====F.O.R.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N. by the way. pre-marital sex is yet another professional word the public like to use to make their fornicating sound legitimate. I’m judging their actions though not the people.
and then trying to evangilise them is hard because you give them the truth and then its up to them to accept it. and as I heard said once from an american guy ‘‘you cant teach a pig how to sing, it only wastes your time and irritates the pig’’ now I am in no way calling the girl a pig, just that the conversation could be in comparison to that of trying to teach a pig how to sing know what I mean?

anyhow as saint paul said, a consecrated life in the Lord is much better. :harp:

God bless you
Stephen

 

[zaramarie81]

I’ve tryed this vocation, and to be honest it brought me no peace what so ever.

for me ( and I pray this does not be perceived as harsh ) having to deal with another personality other than my own proves very difficult indeed. when ones ideas no longer conform to the worlds
( keeping in mind i’ve still got a lot of dying to the self to do ) 99.356% of women I’ve met our conversations always ended in a debate and usually that debate would be them going against one of the churchs teachings, :slapfight: whether it be on pre-martial sex which ====F.O.R.N.I.C.A.T.I.O.N. by the way. pre-marital sex is yet another professional word the public like to use to make their fornicating sound legitimate. I’m judging their actions though not the people.
and then trying to evangilise them is hard because you give them the truth and then its up to them to accept it. and as I heard said once from an american guy ‘‘you cant teach a pig how to sing, it only wastes your time and irritates the pig’’ now I am in no way calling the girl a pig, just that the conversation could be in comparison to that of trying to teach a pig how to sing know what I mean?

anyhow as saint paul said, a consecrated life in the Lord is much better. :harp:

God bless you
Stephen

Wow Stephen - it seems you’ve never had the privilege of dating a devout Catholic woman? There are many out there who see marriage as a holy vocation and would be thrilled to find a man who didn’t want to engage in impure actions!

It’s also my understanding that the Church teaches that both vocations are of equal value to the Lord, just different. Both are paths to holiness and Sainthood. I’ve always felt a strong general call to the vocation of marriage and have prayed often that God would send me a man who I could become a Saint with. I am 28 now, and it has been a hard road, including a broken engagement :’(. Right now, the biggest issue is that I feel called to be a wife, mother, *and *to study/write in some capacity. Finding a man who loves the whole package can be a bit tough. In some ways I can relate to the agonizing of someone who yearns to be part of a religious community, but hasn’t found the right fit yet. Based on the stories I’ve read on these forums, the emotions seem very similar.

I guess we can all pray for each other!