Marriage non-believer

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Dianna

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My husband was baptized Catholic but he said they weren’t even practicing Catholics as children. Christmas and Easter for the most part, but not always. He wants nothing to do with any of it.

He would as if now like me to go through RCIA before I bring our children into classes. They have no interest in going and he doesn’t want them forced. I don’t want them growing up without faith but you also can’t push faith. Need to respect husband wishes but saddens me. But want to do what is right for my kids.

I’m curious how vocal, best way I can think to describe, that most Catholics are regarding what the Lord does in their life. I had a Protestant friend get all over me because around my husband I wasn’t praising God enough. I wasn’t showing my faith and love for God enough. Meaning when something went right I want saying “praise God” or “thank you Jesus” over every little thing.

I don’t push. My Bible is out, even when going to Protestant churches Bibles were out, he sees me reading, studying. I tell him when I’m going to pray so that he knows I need that time. I mention things here and there.

Just curious where Catholics kind of see being vocal and witnessing compared to say how evangelicals do.
I don’t know if that made any sense.

I’m walking a line of loving my Holy Father and respecting my husband. Pushing any faith on him would do no good. I know clearly how he feels about evangelical Protestant churches… and I didn’t push and he always supported me and never tried to stop me from going to church or being active with groups st church.

He isn’t too happy with the Catholic Church but I’m not sure why, I just think it’s just church in general.

I pray as I go through classes and as I mention things here and there that he will have a desire to come back to the church and want the kids to be part of the church.

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice when I’m a marrisge where one is Catholic and the other isn’t. Or advice on respecting husband while respecting God first. Or I don’t know. Just trying to sort through this all.
 
You should be able to mention Jesus from time to time without your husband pitching a fit over it.

However, there is no Catholic Church expectation that Catholics go around verbally “witnessing” about God all day. Some Catholics may choose to do this and that’s fine, it’s their choice. Others may choose not to do it because they believe it’s inappropriate or obnoxious or it risks making someone near them upset, etc. That is also fine, it’s their choice.
 
Oh doesn’t get upset when I mention stuff. Just saying I’m not one to mention Jesus every few minutes and in the Protestant circles I was in, I was told I wasn’t being a good witness.
 
Catholics aren’t like Evangelicals in that way. We are supposed to witness by our loving actions towards others. Not by how loud or how many times we say Praise Jesus.
 
Dianna said:
He would as if now like me to go through RCIA before I bring our children into classes.
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Do you mean before religious education classes for young kids? It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to go through RCIA, in fact you’ll be required to before becoming catholic. However, I’m not sure I would put off enrolling my kiddos in religious education. Depending on their age, it can throw the timing of things off. For example, 2nd grade is when they prepare for First Reconciliation and First Holy Communion; and 7-8 th grade is when they are confirmed (at least here in St. Louis). Not to say those things have to be done those years or that exceptions aren’t made.

How about a compromise, talk to him about enrolling in RCIA at the same time as the kiddos start PSR? In our diocese RCIA starts in September and runs weekly through Easter. PSR (public school religion) for kids not in catholic grade schools, runs concurrent to the school year.
 
That makes me feel better. I’ve always believed it’s actions. It’s how we talk to each other, how we treat each other, what we do.
 
I start RCIA in Aug. He doesn’t want the kids going through any type of religious classes till once I’m done with RCIA. I’m guessing to see if I end up becoming part of the church.
 
Ok, then I would go along with that request, go through RCIA, join the church, and then enroll the kids next year. BUT, while you are going through RCIA, you can certainly share what you are learning, not in an in your face way, but in an “i’m really excited about what I’m learning way”, KWIM?

Best of Luck to you!
 
I’ve been sharing with him how much closer I feel to Christ because my prayer life has improved so much. And then I mention little things. Like last night we were laughing because I don’t know Roman numerals too well. Told him how I’m so lost on which Pope I’m reading about. We both laughed for a good five minutes.

I worry about my children. Not baptized. I talk to them about God. I pray. I don’t want them growing up with no faith like I did.
 
How old are your children?

I understand your worry, and I would just keep doing what you are doing. It doesn’t sound like your husband is hostile to this idea, since you both found a point to laugh about.

On an aside, I get confused about which pope did what when it comes to the duplicates and I studied European history in college LOL, Especially the Pius’s and the Benedicts LOL. Wish they would pick original names (Thank you Francis!), but I get the idea of honoring the past.
 
He is supportive and if I came across in any other way it wasn’t on purpose, it was more you can’t hear my tone. Gotta love communication online lol

My kids are in elementary school , 5th grade. 10 years old.

Yes the names do get so confusing for sure especially when coming into all of this and trying to learn and figure it all out.
 
For what it’s worth, I’m not sure I would stress too much over which pope taught what doctrinal point, rather why it was taught and what it means. You can always rely on “the pope of the time” taught that we…😉

As far as I know, there’s no final exam that requires you to have those sorts of details memorized, but then I’m a cradle catholic, so maybe an RCIAer could chime in here.

Don’t mean to discourage you from learning church history, especially since I think it’s an awesome and rich history, just wouldn’t want your experience to be dampened by trying to remember 2000 years worth of somewhat inconsequential details.
 
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Oh yeah I’m not trying to remember it all lol no way that would happen lol
 
I’ll have to look into that. Thank you. They have been once in awhile to Protestant Church with me. I think right now it’s hard to figure out how to explain things to them when I’m learning. Looking forward to sitting down with the Priest at my parish once our move it done to talk to him about it.
 
Listen to the wise bear. Weaving faith into our everyday lives is not some cosmetic thing like saying “Praise Jesus”, at the same time, when things occur you do introduce faith and morals.

When you are listening to a song ask your kids to think about the lyrics. The #1 song in the US today is a song titled Sad!. The lyrics are about committing suicide if your love leaves you. That is an important conversation to have with our kids. Talk about despair in the world, that God loves each of us, that we are all precious and cherished.

#2 song today is called “I Like It”. When that comes on, ask about materialism and how the things of this world will not bring us joy.

When you watch a movie, point out the fallacy of consequentialism. TV sitcom? Ask if it is normal to simply live together or hook up.

Talk about atheism, talk about the hard things. Make it a conversation, not a lecture.

At the end, let your joy and love so ooze out of every pore that your husband and your kids want what you have.
 
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