Marriage non-believer

[Dianna]

Very good advice. Thank you!!

 

[margaret42]

When you become Catholic, perhaps you could have a Catholic marriage ceremony by a priest, and then you’d be expected to raise the baby Catholic?

 

[GodSpawned]

in the Protestant circles I was in, I was told I wasn’t being a good witness.

As a protestant, and from what you’ve said in this thread thus far, that sounds like garbage. Your doing a good job- keep up what your doing.

Can I clarify (apologies if i misread you), your husband wants you to go through RCIA but you don’t want to go?

 

[Dianna]

No he could care less and if I go. “I don’t care what church you go to, they all just want your money”. He doesn’t want the kids going to classes at the church till after I’m done with RCIA. Oh I wish I was in classes now. I wish I was at mass. I wish I was sitting in the chapel for adoration. Soon.

 

[Dianna]

We do need our marriage made valid in the Church.

 

[margaret42]

That might help you a lot. Because I think the kids need to formed by the faith of the Catholic parent. You as it seems would be the one who wants them to learn about the church and sacraments?

 

[alice24]

I’m sorry, but I don’t really understand why he wants you to go through RCIA before the children go in church education if he generally thinks they don’t need it. I mean, if he was a strong catholic it would make sense that he maybe wants you to be informed for upcoming questions of your children, but this isn’t the case here…

 

[Dianna]

In case I go through and decide I don’t want to become part of the church.

 

[Russell_SA]

Pushing faith onto your kids is no different than pushing your political views onto your kids. However, it is a bit weird to send your kids to a political rally group every sunday morning. But if this is important to you that your kids adopt your political or religious view points than you have a right to raise them in a way that you think is beneficial to society. You just owe society a well adjusted adult.

He isn’t too happy with the Catholic Church but I’m not sure why

Sounds like you’ve been taking the importance of your religion for granted and assuming he would as well. It’s really odd that you don’t know why. Just assuming your religion is important to him and to the family identity doesn’t seem to work in your situation.

He wants nothing to do with any of it.

He needs to pull his head out of his butt and contribute to family traditions. Traditions are important for people to have a tie to their tribe when the tribe is not around. This is why we kiss photos and light candles.
However, if he is pulling away from indoctrination is the same way as pulling away from a bad breakup. He’s just in an over-correction mode and doesn’t want to be associated with things that he may be feeling like were just cultural indoctrination and lies.
You can still be religious and not believe in the supernatural. Atheist Jews do this all the time.

Belief is not a choice by the way. It’s the intellectual conclusion you landed on based on the information you were presented with and how you were taught to think about that data. Example: sit in a chair and then choose to believe you are not sitting in a chair. You can’t regardless of your personal feelings about it.

I had a Protestant friend get all over me because around my husband I wasn’t praising God enough.

How insecure is your deity that it needs more or less praise. Just respond with, my god isn’t as insecure as your god is apparently.

 

[Russell_SA]

I wasn’t showing my faith and love for God enough

Who’s a true irishman problem. Your relationship with your deity is between your deity and no one else. That’s as bad taste as someone outside your perfectly happy marriage coming in and trying to create a problem between you and your husband where none exist. That is not acceptable from a friend.

Just curious where Catholics kind of see being vocal and witnessing compared to say how evangelicals do.

Protestants apparently need to see everyone wailing and nashing teeth as evidence of conviction instead of sitting quietly and peacefully content in your relationship with your deity.

want the kids to be part of the church.

Kids can find aspects of the church to enjoy, but their faith is up to them to develop. They may not get faith. But they can still enjoy singing in choir, hanging out with friends, debating dogma, etc. I’m an atheist and I’ve been singing in my local church choir for 3 years because I like singing.

Or advice on respecting husband while respecting God first.

Sorry, but your kids come first. Get them through a safe and healthy childhood and then once they are out of the house and adults, you can go back to asserting the relationship you want with your husband. Until then, you’re personal life doesn’t exists and neither does his.