Marriage Offering

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jamie86

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Hi fellow Catholics,
I have a question. Two of my friends are getting married and are unsure what to do about the marriage offering. In the booklet they received from the Church the suggested donation is about $750. The grooms parents were a bit taken back by that as they were planning on giving maybe $200. They aren’t poor or rich. What is your opinion on this? How much do people give these days? I do not remember how we did it since it was awhile ago and my husbands parents handled it.

Thanks!
 
Our marriage offering was suggested to be $150…we gave $250 and then $200 to the priest himself. I thought it was very,very low–considering how much DJs, dress, invitations, flowers, etc. cost. The church performs the ACTUAL marriage! If they were asking $750, I’d give them that and more. They are likely spending thousands and thousands on other things. Just my two cents. 😉
 
Yikes! To me that’s huge! My wedding cost one thousand dollars. If I had been asked to give 750 I wouldn’t have known what to do!

I talked to my priest about finances and he said just one hundred to use the church and church basement for reception. I think your priest would also take your finances into consideration, whatever they are.
 
Is this only for weddings? We had our marriage convalidated right before Easter Vigil and nobody mentioned any money.
 
That does seem steep. I was married 26 years ago and the stipend for the priest was $25, use of the church & hall was $100 - and that was with the “church ladies” doing the clean up.

We had a very frugal, home made wedding, so our total costs were around $250.

If neither family can afford it, they should talk with the priest. Either the cost will be reduced (likely, as it is a suggested donation), or they can make payments. Or they (the couple) can save the amount in advance. There is no rule that says one family or the other has to pay all the costs.
 
My sister recently married, and the church charged $350 for parishioners of at least one year, and $700 for non or new parishioners. The priest’s stipend is suggested at $350. That is what my family provided.

When I got married 14 years ago, the church asked for $100 and we gave the priest a $200 stipend.
 
First you need to clarify what the $750 is for.

We paid about that 8 years ago, but that was not the offering for the sacrament. That was the church rental fee.

The offering in my old diocese was suggested at $150 and I did give that. I addtional gave a stipend to our deacon who married us and the guest priest who celebrated our nuptial mass.

The offering amount is set by the bishops together as an ecclesial province, so it should be the same in your entire area. In our diocese, the sacramental offering suggested for a marriage is $75. That amount goes to the parish works of charity account to be used for charitable purposes, NOT to the priest. In other dioceses, the bishop’s instructions indicate that offering may go to the priest.

The offering is voluntary, and one should give what one can.

The church rental fees, OTOH, are not optional and may or may not be negotiable. That fee is determined by the local parsh. This is for private use of the church, ready-room, etc, and may include a wedding coordinator or other things. It is for private use of the facilities, not the sacrament. If you cannot afford that, then you should look to be married in the chapel rather than the church, or in a regularly scheduled mass not a private one.
 
Abrigham said:
Is this only for weddings? We had our marriage convalidated right before Easter Vigil and nobody mentioned any money.
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It is customary to give an offering on the occasion of baptism, marriage, and funerals.

The suggested (i.e. maximum) offering is set by the ecclesial province,so it will vary from place to place. Ours is $25, $75, $50. The bishops will also determine where that money goes-- to the priest, to the works of charity, or to some other cause. One may always give less, or none, as appropriate to one’s situation. One may also give more, and if you give more you should indicate whether or not that is intended for the priest/deacon or for the parish.

You can ask your pastor what is appropriate in this instance.
 
I would suggest that they talk to the priest if they cannot afford the suggested donation. I am sure they will work with whoever is paying.

I was pretty surprised with how much we were asked to pay- it ended up being over $1000. And that didn’t include the $200 we gave to the priest. We were actually told basically that if we could afford a reception we could afford the fees (in a nicer way). We had a fairly small reception so the church fees ended up being a pretty large portion of our wedding budget.
 
We paid $500 as a Church fee to reserve the wedding date. The suggested stipend donation for the priest was $200, which we gave. After the reception we found a card from the priest with a wedding gift in it - the exact amount of his stipend. So he didn’t get anything out of it.
 
Thanks for the replies everyone! I think they said the $750 was everything including organist, cantor, and Church fee. It didn’t say anything about a priest fee though. Is that separate?
 
The church we were married in wanted $300. $400 if we wanted access to the video equipment (we didn’t). My father married us, and we didn’t give him anything. The organist (also a priest) wouldn’t take anything and considered him playing his gift to us. We had 2 bishops and 2 other priests officially involved, also none of which would take anything.
 
jamie86 said:
Thanks for the replies everyone! I think they said the $750 was everything including organist, cantor, and Church fee. It didn’t say anything about a priest fee though. Is that separate?
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Yeah, that sounds like that is just the standard fee to pay for the expense of the wedding then. $750 really isn’t unheard of for that, although there definitely are places which do not charge as much as that, especially for their own parishoners. The priestly stipend/donation is a thank you gift to the priest, not a fee for renting the church/paying cantor and organist, etc.
 
jamie86 said:
Thanks for the replies everyone! I think they said the $750 was everything including organist, cantor, and Church fee. It didn’t say anything about a priest fee though. Is that separate?
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I would suggest you ask. You will probably want to give the priest something separate.
 
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