Marriage Outside of Ch : Attend?

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If a Catholic relative or friend is getting married outside of the Catholic Church should you attend ?

How do you handle the situation ?

In seems to be more common that we get invited to attend a wedding that is performed outside of the Church. Deciding on whether or not to attend such weddings can often present difficult and conflicting emotions. I may want to imply that I support and love the individuals involved, but on the other hand, I do not support the idea of a Catholic failing to recognize ( or rejecting ?) the guidance I believe Jesus gives to us through his Church. As a Catholic, I want to encourage and to teach by example that they need God’s help to make their friendship and union stronger and lasting.

However, many people fail to think things through on a rational basis and react emotionally. This can especially be true of younger people who have not learned or developed the ability to be objective and to consider logical analysis from another’s perspective.

Some people would falsely interpret a refusal to attend their wedding as a rejection of them, or perhaps worse in their eyes, a rejection of their spouse. And they could respond to a perceived rejection of their spouse, whom they love, with much hostility.
Sometimes the following false assumptions are made :
“If you reject my friend, you reject me.”
“If you reject my choice to marry outside the Church, you reject me.”

The decision on whether or not to attend is one matter.
If a person decides not to attend then he must handle the delicate situation with much care.

How do we respond ?

If a person chooses not to attend the wedding, I suggest that the following explanation, to the extent that it is true, be given.

“Honey, I love you.
I will ( by God’s grace which enables me to do so, and assuming I make it to heaven, will )
always love you.
I want you to be happy.
I want what is best for you.
Maybe, and i am saying just maybe, our differences that don’t allow me to attend your wedding include that just perhaps I love your spouse to be more than you do. I love God who is LOVE Himself, the source of all love and the source of all that is good.
And I have sacrificed much to learn His ways because I sincerely want to follow Him and help others do the same. I want what is best for you and your spouse. I want you to not even unintentionally shut out any of God’s help, His grace, you need to really love your spouse and to make your relationship with him, or her, the best it can be. And I want to get to heaven enough to sacrifice many things I desire deeply.
Are you willing to do the same ?”

Any suggestions ?

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No suggestions - I would not overthink it, I would just go.
 
JohnR77 said:
.
If a Catholic relative or friend is getting married outside of the Catholic Church should you attend ?

How do you handle the situation ?

In seems to be more common that we get invited to attend a wedding that is performed outside of the Church. Deciding on whether or not to attend such weddings can often present difficult and conflicting emotions. I may want to imply that I support and love the individuals involved, but on the other hand, I do not support the idea of a Catholic failing to recognize ( or rejecting ?) the guidance I believe Jesus gives to us through his Church. As a Catholic, I want to encourage and to teach by example that they need God’s help to make their friendship and union stronger and lasting.

However, many people fail to think things through on a rational basis and react emotionally. This can especially be true of younger people who have not learned or developed the ability to be objective and to consider logical analysis from another’s perspective.

Some people would falsely interpret a refusal to attend their wedding as a rejection of them, or perhaps worse in their eyes, a rejection of their spouse. And they could respond to a perceived rejection of their spouse, whom they love, with much hostility.
Sometimes the following false assumptions are made :
“If you reject my friend, you reject me.”
“If you reject my choice to marry outside the Church, you reject me.”

The decision on whether or not to attend is one matter.
If a person decides not to attend then he must handle the delicate situation with much care.

How do we respond ?

If a person chooses not to attend the wedding, I suggest that the following explanation, to the extent that it is true, be given.

“Honey, I love you.
I will ( by God’s grace which enables me to do so, and assuming I make it to heaven, will )
always love you.
I want you to be happy.
I want what is best for you.
Maybe, and i am saying just maybe, our differences that don’t allow me to attend your wedding include that just perhaps I love your spouse to be more than you do. I love God who is LOVE Himself, the source of all love and the source of all that is good.
And I have sacrificed much to learn His ways because I sincerely want to follow Him and help others do the same. I want what is best for you and your spouse. I want you to not even unintentionally shut out any of God’s help, His grace, you need to really love your spouse and to make your relationship with him, or her, the best it can be. And I want to get to heaven enough to sacrifice many things I desire deeply.
Are you willing to do the same ?”

Any suggestions ?

.
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Is this the wedding of a protestant party? A Catholic who has been dispensed of the obligation to be married in the church? Same sex couple? I’m not seeing WHY you object to going to the wedding?
 
Unless there is a specific reason beyond “it’s not in the Church” I say go.

Keep in mind that all marriages, even those performed outside the Church, are considered valid unless they are shown otherwise (annulments).
 
Split the difference; skip the ceremony and attend the reception.
 
CatholicHockey7 said:
Unless there is a specific reason beyond “it’s not in the Church” I say go.

Keep in mind that all marriages, even those performed outside the Church, are considered valid unless they are shown otherwise (annulments).
Click to expand...
If a baptized Catholic marries outside the Church without a dispensation/permission it is not even putatively valid.

Just sayin.
 
Here’s the thing - most young people today don’t even truly understand that they are bound to marry in the Church if they have been baptized Catholic. And by the time they have decided on their forum for the wedding, it’s pretty much too late to instruct them without coming off as being judgmental or “holier than thou”. It’s truly their parents’ job to have properly taught them the Church’s regulations regarding marriage while they’re growing up. I attended both of my siblings’ weddings. Both my brother and my sister were married outside the Church. All I can do is pray for them and hope that one day, they’ll understand the need to enter into sacramental marriages, not just legal ones. But see, I believe they’re both “fallen away” Catholics. My brother still considers himself Catholic, but I don’t think he goes to Mass often. My sister… I think she’s pretty much agnostic or even atheist by now. And both of them are legally married to non-Catholics, which makes it that much more difficult.

Regardless, here’s what I would say: If it’s immediate family, go regardless - unless it’s a “same-sex” ceremony. You grew with them under the same roof, and you love them. You might not approve of their choice to mortally sin, but you can pray that they will one day realize their fault.

If it’s not immediate family, then decide whether it would be prudent to go or not. Non-immediate family and friends also don’t usually demand attendance as much as immediate family does.
 
I do not attend any weddings at all, in order to avoid ethical-moral-religious conflicts.

Other people can get married if they wish, but I will have no part of it.

Time and again, people ruin their lives by getting married. Not me, though.
 
Magickman said:
I do not attend any weddings at all, in order to avoid ethical-moral-religious conflicts.

Other people can get married if they wish, but I will have no part of it.

Time and again, people ruin their lives by getting married. Not me, though.
Click to expand...
😃
 
Magickman said:
I do not attend any weddings at all, in order to avoid ethical-moral-religious conflicts.

Other people can get married if they wish, but I will have no part of it.

Time and again, people ruin their lives by getting married. Not me, though.
Click to expand...
That’s terribly cynical. You know that Catholics believe Matrimony is a holy Sacrament and vocation held in high esteem? You know that families are the building block of society, and the Domestic Church, and they are under attack by modern culture? You know that the Blessed Virgin Mary is venerated by Catholics like yourself for her supreme example of Divine Motherhood? Did you know that Saint Joseph is renowned the world over for his holiness and chastity in his role as Foster Father of Jesus?

People who attend valid weddings are helping give a strong start to a good family. People who attend valid weddings are affirming the Catholic belief that the Sacrament of Matrimony is the cornerstone of a holy people. People who attend valid marriages are witnesses to the truth.
 
I would still go. They are my family and I love them. It is their choice to get married in a church or not.
 
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