Marriage outside of the church

[kage_ar]

No, neither of us was married previously or were practicing, confirmed or baptised Catholic.

Sounds like you will be good to go! Speak with your Priest, he will explain it all

 

[AmyMarie71]

familyministries-chgo.org/www.inthespiritofcana.org/2.6.9.htm

Just like with any marriage, the couple must have the proper capacity, knowledge, and intention for entering into marriage. They also must be giving their consent freely. The fact that they have been living together for a period of time does not necessarily mean that they understand what Christian marriage is or that they are freely choosing it. Once their marriage takes place in the Church, they will have a new relationship with the Christian community. It would be good to explore this aspect of their relationship further.
The other thing that happens in a convalidation is that the partners are bound to each other in a different way. This, too, needs to be explored with the couple.
It will also be necessary to explain to the couple that this is their one, true marriage. The other exchange of consent established something like marriage, but it is this marriage in the Lord that creates a true marriage bond.
Some other areas you might want to explore are:
· What were the events leading up to their marriage outside the Church?
· What contributed to their decision not to marry in the Church, but to marry elsewhere?
· How would they describe their marriage up to this point? Have there been any major arguments or break-ups? Were there any instances of infidelity? Were there any instances of physical abuse or substance abuse?
· If they have children, how would they describe themselves and how would they describe each other as parents?
· If they already have children, are they being raised in the Catholic faith?
· If they already have children, you will also need to explore issues regarding an intention against having more children. When couples convalidate their marriage, they must have the same intention as any other couple entering into marriage; that is, to enter into a faithful, fruitful, abiding relationship.
· Explore the issues of permanence, since this will be a commitment to a permanent relationship. Their marriage outside the Church was not necessarily a commitment to a permanent relationship, since the state gives both parties the right to end the marriage at any time.
· What made them decide to enter into marriage in the Church? Were there any external factors present in their decision, such as parental pressure, the birth of a child, problems in the relationship that they believe “God’s blessing” will cure, etc.?
· What do they think will be different about their relationship after their Church marriage?

This post is very interesting, including some of the questions.

A co-worker of mine, who is catholic, married a catholic man outside the church in a civil ceremony. He was married before and the annulment process is now going on over 1 1/2 years. There are no children or any other type of issues that validate why this is taking so long. With my co-worker having a terminal illness, they tried to get a dispensation and were denied. They then decided to go ahead and get married outside the church not knowing how much time she had left.

At this time, they are still waiting for the decree to come through so they can get their marriage convalidated. In this case, it is a shame that the church could not comply so this couple took it into their own hands to do what they thought was right due to their circumstance.

 

[kage_ar]

This post is very interesting, including some of the questions.

A co-worker of mine, who is catholic, married a catholic man outside the church in a civil ceremony. He was married before and the annulment process is now going on over 1 1/2 years. There are no children or any other type of issues that validate why this is taking so long. With my co-worker having a terminal illness, they tried to get a dispensation and were denied. They then decided to go ahead and get married outside the church not knowing how much time she had left.

At this time, they are still waiting for the decree to come through so they can get their marriage convalidated. In this case, it is a shame that the church could not comply so this couple took it into their own hands to do what they thought was right due to their circumstance.

Children do not have any bering on the validity of a marriage. It is about the consent at the wedding. A review of the validity can take years, and it is never a “sure thing” that the marriage will be found null.

I pray your friend goes to Confession and reconciles with the Church, in a time of illness, they need the Sacraments.

 

[agapewolf]

This post is very interesting, including some of the questions.

A co-worker of mine, who is catholic, married a catholic man outside the church in a civil ceremony. He was married before and the annulment process is now going on over 1 1/2 years. There are no children or any other type of issues that validate why this is taking so long. With my co-worker having a terminal illness, they tried to get a dispensation and were denied. They then decided to go ahead and get married outside the church not knowing how much time she had left.

At this time, they are still waiting for the decree to come through so they can get their marriage convalidated. In this case, it is a shame that the church could not comply so this couple took it into their own hands to do what they thought was right due to their circumstance.

No one can get a “dispensation” and try to get married twice.

Since he has a terminal illness, it doesnt’ seem to be the wisest decision to be in such a serious state and not reconciled to the church. Why was getting civilly married the priority? Why isn’t keeping right with God the priority?

 

[Seatuck]

This post is very interesting, including some of the questions.

A co-worker of mine, who is catholic, married a catholic man outside the church in a civil ceremony. He was married before and the annulment process is now going on over 1 1/2 years. There are no children or any other type of issues that validate why this is taking so long. With my co-worker having a terminal illness, they tried to get a dispensation and were denied. They then decided to go ahead and get married outside the church not knowing how much time she had left.

At this time, they are still waiting for the decree to come through so they can get their marriage convalidated. In this case, it is a shame that the church could not comply so this couple took it into their own hands to do what they thought was right due to their circumstance.

People without decrees of nullity aren’t even supposed to date much less attempt to get the church to let them marry someone else before it isn’t known if the first marriage was valid or not. Catholics are not wise to date those with former marriages that have not been brought before the marriage tribunal .
There is no dispensation for getting married in the church when you might be still married to someone else.
There’s plenty of blame to go around here starting with your friend who has done a very public action in defiance of church teaching. It may be that the process could be speeded up but it may be that there were delays that were not the fault of the church . There might also be impediments to the marriage of your friend and current civil spouse so they would not be permitted to marry even if the annulment goes through, you just don’t know all the details. That’s pretty much what the page you cited addresses although there are other questions that could be explored. There might also be conditions on the annulment put on this person by the marriage tribunal based on the information and testimony in the marriage case.
You might want to get the book by Michael Foster called the Wedding that was to help you understand the whole picture.

 

[AmyMarie71]

No one can get a “dispensation” and try to get married twice.

Since he has a terminal illness, it doesnt’ seem to be the wisest decision to be in such a serious state and not reconciled to the church. Why was getting civilly married the priority? Why isn’t keeping right with God the priority?

For all I know, she probably has already reconciled with the church, talked to her parish priest and they also maybe living as brother and sister. How shall I know if fornication is taking place? At this point, her husband (civil) might just be her caregiver at this point.

 

[mlwooten]

Sorry to hijack the thread with this question but I was talking to an acquaintance and she claims that not being able to take communion because your marriage isn’t valid is a parish by parish basis? I believe it is a canon law as it is a sacrement.

Can some one help me figure out where to properly cite this? (i’m not well verses in citing the Bible/canon law but would like to have my reference correct.)

 

[kage_ar]

Sorry to hijack the thread with this question but I was talking to an acquaintance and she claims that not being able to take communion because your marriage isn’t valid is a parish by parish basis? I believe it is a canon law as it is a sacrement.

Can some one help me figure out where to properly cite this? (i’m not well verses in citing the Bible/canon law but would like to have my reference correct.)

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (footnotes will take you to Scripture and Canons as they are quoted).

**1650 **Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil *divorce *and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

 

[puzzleannie]

I differ from kage-ar in thinking that you aren’t under an obligation “to live as brother and sister” as there is no sin against temperance involved - rather it is a matter of obedience to a church precept. Perhaps there is some other reason that I am unaware of though.
).

objectively, general statement not addressed at any individual, a Catholic who marries “outside the Church” in other words, who does not observe Church law on marriage, is not married, and is in the old fashioned phrase “living in sin” if he assumes the rights and privileges of marital relations. So objectively this advice is correct, but should come from the priest, whom the Catholic in this situation should consult immediately, like today, since this is the busiest week of the year for most priests, and it will be hard to arrange an interview after today until the end of next week (in many dioceses priests are on retreat the week after Easter). do not delay.

Someone in this situation should take part in whatever marriage preparation program is prescribed in his diocese, which includes establishing that both parties are free to marry, and that the conditions for a valid marriage are present. Convalidation is not just a rubber stamp on a civil marriage. A very serious decision was made deliberately to flout Church laws, and the Catholic party must be assisted to understand those laws, and the wise reasons for these requirements, as often this decision has been made without full knowledge and appreciation of Catholic teaching on marriage. It is your right to have such teaching explained to you.

Meantime, pray, there is immense grace waiting for you in marriage and the other sacraments when you reconcile your situation and that is a cause for joy.

OP does not state if his partner is non-Catholic, this is a matter that will be addressed when he meets with the priest. No, a non-Catholic is not required to convert, and the issue of two people in RCIA is addressed elsewhere in the appropriate forum and is not relevant here. Each marriage situation is unique, and it is nearly impossible to give a specific answer to a specific couple because of all the variables involved.

also advice on civil marriage questions here are addressed to US residents, law is different in countries that do not recognize church marriages.

the issues of 1) defect of form in following canon law on marriage and 2) any sin arising from improper use of the sexual gifts of marriage, are separate issues. this is a pastoral question that is properly addressed by an individual to one’s pastor (priest, not deacon or church secretary or DRE) and answered pastorally.

 

[Chatter163]

Wrong. Their is no carnal incontinence involved. Sexual sin is a matter of right reason. The Church is clear about this.

Note to the OP: This person, as others have pointed out, is completely wrong and is simply trying to use legal double talk to lead you away from the truth. The relevant canon has been posted, and when there is an invalid marriage, there is no “right reason.” Please listen to those who are indeeed faithful to the Church, rather than this newbie with an agenda.