Marriage prep course timing

[Lorelei12]

I bolded the part I don’t understand. Personally, my conversations were VERY specific since I want to know before accepting the ring. For example, I always said I would not live in the country. I can not see how after I publicize an engagement that changes. Perhaps I am different:shrug:

Perhaps I am not explaining it clearly. It is very different to talk as a dating couple, who says things like “if we were to be married, this is what I think we should do” than as an engaged couple, who says “when we are married, this is what we are going to do”. Which is not to say that an engaged couple can’t call it off, but once you’ve decided to spent the rest of your life with someone the nature of your relationship changes. Otherwise people would get engaged and then married the next day.

It is one thing to say “I will never live in the country.” It is another to say, I am going to marry this person and now we need to figure out where to live. The discussions become real and practical. And oftentimes much more personal- discussions about sex and NFP and children are part of a real future instead of something imagined or that you’re not sure about while you’re still discerning who to marry.

I definitely agree that it is helpful for a dating couple to use resources to discern their spouse, whether that’s a prep course or a visit with a priest, a book, or whatever. All I’m saying is that a “discern your spouse” prep program is going to look different than an engaged couples program.

 

[takers]

I think it’s hard to have a class like that because how would you know when to go to it? While dating people are at different stages of feelings for each other and usually those feelings don’t get on the same level until around engagement. So would you have this class for people who have been dating for six months (I certainly wasn’t ready to go to a pre-marriage prep class with my husband at this time), for a year (a few people I know were engaged before a year), at 18 months (I was already engaged), at 2 years (married by then)?

So at what point in a dating relationship would both parties feel comfortable enough in their relationship to take a marriage prep course but not too far in their relationship where they would already be engaged?