C
ChristinaM
Guest
I’m not sure how I feel about presenting couples “'fessing up.” My fiance and I went to a Pre-Cana-type workshop (not EE) and during the talk on sex and intimacy (which was otherwise good), our presenting couple revealed that they had slept together before marriage. But it wasn’t really done in a way that made it clear this was not a good thing to do…more like, “oh yeah, but we’re okay, and it was totally fine.” 
I understand the need not to beat people over the head, but I wish it hadn’t come off as “everybody does it, so did we.” There has to be *some *kind of healthy medium between that and “if you slept together you are doomed and going to heck.” Just my two cents. I think my fiance appreciated it more than I did - he thought it was a gutsy move and admired their honesty. Maybe I am being too judgemental.
I wasn’t really happy with my Pre-Cana. In some respects it was good - fiance and I learned a lot about managing finances and healthy communication. But there was very little about it that was Catholic. It could have been any Christian marriage workshop. The sacramentality and theology of marriage was not touched on at all. (Of course, if everyone there had the kind of catechesis I did in CCD, it probably would have gone right over their heads.) When interfaith marriage was discussed there was no emphasis at all on the importance of raising children Catholic. The presenter couple even told some silly story about a couple they knew where the wife was Baptist and the husband was Catholic, so they “split the difference” and all went to the Methodist church! Very silly - even my non-Catholic fiance could see how silly that was. He was perplexed that a supposedly Catholic marriage workshop would even present that as an option.
My NFP teacher came to give a short presentation on Billings NFP and handed out her business card for people to make appointments. She had a very informative, non-confrontational approach, but her message was not reinforced at all by the other presenters. They looked just as awkward as the engaged couples sitting there. It would have been nice to hear them say, “We use NFP, and while it isn’t a cakewalk, our marriage really does benefit.”
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this into a long rant on my Pre-Cana…but the point is, when you have presenter couples that don’t even practice NFP, it’s hard for the NFP presenter to be convincing. Because of my experience I am interested in possibly doing something similar in the future, so I will be watching this thread with interest.
I understand the need not to beat people over the head, but I wish it hadn’t come off as “everybody does it, so did we.” There has to be *some *kind of healthy medium between that and “if you slept together you are doomed and going to heck.” Just my two cents. I think my fiance appreciated it more than I did - he thought it was a gutsy move and admired their honesty. Maybe I am being too judgemental.I wasn’t really happy with my Pre-Cana. In some respects it was good - fiance and I learned a lot about managing finances and healthy communication. But there was very little about it that was Catholic. It could have been any Christian marriage workshop. The sacramentality and theology of marriage was not touched on at all. (Of course, if everyone there had the kind of catechesis I did in CCD, it probably would have gone right over their heads.) When interfaith marriage was discussed there was no emphasis at all on the importance of raising children Catholic. The presenter couple even told some silly story about a couple they knew where the wife was Baptist and the husband was Catholic, so they “split the difference” and all went to the Methodist church! Very silly - even my non-Catholic fiance could see how silly that was. He was perplexed that a supposedly Catholic marriage workshop would even present that as an option.
My NFP teacher came to give a short presentation on Billings NFP and handed out her business card for people to make appointments. She had a very informative, non-confrontational approach, but her message was not reinforced at all by the other presenters. They looked just as awkward as the engaged couples sitting there. It would have been nice to hear them say, “We use NFP, and while it isn’t a cakewalk, our marriage really does benefit.”
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this into a long rant on my Pre-Cana…but the point is, when you have presenter couples that don’t even practice NFP, it’s hard for the NFP presenter to be convincing. Because of my experience I am interested in possibly doing something similar in the future, so I will be watching this thread with interest.
