Marriage question concerning impotency / infertility

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Many parishes have a note “Contact the parish 6 months (or 12 months or whatever) in advance before planning your wedding.” It is not uncommon for a parish to require membership for X period before they can rent the building for a wedding.

I’d wager that is what is stated in the bulletin “You must both be members of this parish for 12 months in order to have a wedding here, NO EXCEPTIONS!” Perhaps people don’t realize that “membership” means getting on the mailing list and it does not mean that you are Catholic.
 
Well, you would lose your wager. It says:

“BOTH prospective bride and groom MUST be MEMBERS OF THIS PARISH for ONE YEAR prior to their wedding. If one is non-Catholic, he or she can enroll in RCIA. NO EXCEPTIONS!”

Things are not always like you want them to be or like your church decrees.

Edit: Oh, non-Catholics are welcome to be members, but to be married in that particular church, the non-Catholic must convert. I don’t see the big deal. This is an archdiocese, there are plenty of other churches.
 
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Enrolling in RCIA and conversion are two different things. A parish can require a non-catholic spouse-to-be to attend instruction classes so they understand the faith of their spouse.
 
Enrolling in RCIA and conversion are two different things. A parish can require a non-catholic spouse-to-be to attend instruction classes so they understand the faith of their spouse.
Yes, I know that, but in this parish, they are enrolling to convert for marriage. It’s a topic of conversation every week. People have complained to the pastor and the archbishop. I’m sure the pastor knows what he means. The non-Catholic has to convert prior to marriage in this particular church. It’s no big deal. This archdiocese is filled with churches to choose from. Ours is just particularly beautiful, with an outstanding choir.
 
The non-Catholic has to convert prior to marriage in this particular church. It’s no big deal.
It strikes me that it is a big deal. In the territory of this parish, candidates are not judged on their merits according the terms of the Canon law. It’s as though the parish priest rejects the idea that a catholic and non-catholic should (given appropriate circumstances) be permitted to marry. Can you think of any rationale for this position? Does the parish priest adopt other restrictive practices?
 
It strikes me that it is a big deal. In the territory of this parish, candidates are not judged on their merits according the terms of the Canon law. It’s as though the parish priest rejects the idea that a catholic and non-catholic should (given appropriate circumstances) be permitted to marry.
You are right. This would be a very deal. If things are as the poster describes, the Nuncio should be advised so that corrective action can be taken.
 
It strikes me that it is a big deal. In the territory of this parish, candidates are not judged on their merits according the terms of the Canon law. It’s as though the parish priest rejects the idea that a catholic and non-catholic should (given appropriate circumstances) be permitted to marry. Can you think of any rationale for this position? Does the parish priest adopt other restrictive practices?
Yes, he’s very restrictive. He almost didn’t let me join the parish because it’s comprised mostly of married people over 50 or 60 and I’m not married and in my thirties. Most people have just given up on him. He’s an older priest whose views seem very strict.
 
He almost didn’t let me join the parish because it’s comprised mostly of married people over 50 or 60 and I’m not married and in my thirties.
As I understand it, if you live in that parish - you are a member. Perhaps he will refuse to take your name and address- so what? Will he stand at the church door and deny you entry?

If his superiors tolerate this behaviour (the likes of which I’ve never encountered), you might consider taking the action Don suggests above.
 
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Why would you say that if we dont know your name?
I dont really understand what you are afraid of.
 
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Oh, he did let me become a member, but he was against it at first. Said I should go to a “younger” parish. I don’t go there to make friends or socialize, I go to go to mass, bible study, choir, which is sort of socialization. But he did let me become a member. He accepts non-Catholics as well, but not for marriage. The associates and the deacon should do something if they feel action is warranted.
 
Why would you say that if we dont know your name?
I learned long ago never to put my name on a message board, even among other names, and it’s a rule I don’t break.

The pastor has associate priests and a deacon. It’s there responsibility to take action if it’s warranted.
 
The pastor has associate priests and a deacon. It’s there responsibility to take action if it’s warranted.
Indeed… it seems that your PP, the assistant priests, the deacon and your bishop are all wayward in respect of this matter. Does noone in your congregation feel moved to act decisively?
 
Excuse me for laughing - but how do you imagine he could stop you? You live in the parish…therefore you are a member!
I think you know what I mean. LOL He gave me a card to fill out, I got a packet of envelopes in the mail, etc. No, I don’t think he would have stopped me from filling out the card, but he strongly encouraged me to find a “younger” parish.
 
Indeed… it seems that your PP, the assistant priests, the deacon and your bishop are all wayward in respect of this matter. Does noone in your congregation feel moved to act decisively?
No, he’s got people frightened of him.
 
That kind of flies in the face of the concept of the territorial parish where you are a member of a parish if you reside within its boundaries. Is it a personal parish, perchance, in that it’s established for a specific linguistic or ethnic group?
 
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