Marriage Question for a College Student

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kyle2253
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

Kyle2253

Guest
My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we have both talked about getting married at some point in the future. During one of our conversations I told her that it was very important to me that we would get married in a Catholic Church/ceremony. She said that she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t think her parents and family would want to sit through a Catholic mass (her and her most of her family are Presbyterian). We have not talked about the subject for a couple of months, but I feel like it is something that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later.
She is aware of how important my faith is to me and has even been going to mass with me. Any help and/or advice for my situation would be greatly appreciated.

God Bless!
 
You can get married in a Catholic church without a mass. Is she agreeable to that much?
 
Pardon the language, but they can suck it up for an hour or so just for ya’ll to get married. It’s a one-time thing.
 
Last edited:
if you faith is going to be an issue at the wedding it will most likely be an issue throughout the marriage. that’s how it went for me and I’m divorced now.
 
What if she said to him she wanted to get married in her church and he could suck it up? If she agrees to getting married in a Catholic Church with no mass, it is still a Catholic wedding for the OP, which is what he is looking for.
 
I was talking about the family…she said her family wouldnt want to sit through the mass…it’s not their wedding anyway
 
Last edited:
you are committing a mortal sin.There is more at stake then getting your 15 minutes of pleasure and a few headaches.
 
Ummm, honestly I think you should sit down and prayerfully put some real, sober thought into your choice of marriage partner.

Whatever other virtues or admirable qualities your girlfriend may have, compatibility matters. And religious compatibility is especially important. If she’s already expressing that she and her family are incompatible with sitting through a wedding ceremony different than a Presbyterian would usually prefer, what do you honestly think the chances are that she and her Presbyterian family won’t have much, much bigger incompatibilities with much, much more important parts of married life, for the rest of your life following that single ceremony (which honestly, who can’t sit through a wedding? Unless they’re deeply opposed to something in it, in a way that will manifest in other ways too)?

In general my view is that any relationship that can be derailed by the wedding ceremony, should be derailed by the wedding ceremony. Because actual marriage lasts a lifetime, and is already hard enough. If you’re so incompatible that planning a mutually amenable wedding is insurmountable, I’d be wary of imagining you’re compatible enough for the actual marriage.

E.g. as a Catholic, part of your wedding vows will require you to vow to raise any children Catholic. Will your spouse and her family not have an issue there? As a Catholic, you’re forbidden to use contraception of any kind. Is your spouse on the same page? Will your spouse’s family not want to come to the masses where your children are baptized? Confirmed? Etc.

Again, not saying you can’t marry this woman. Just, please prayerfully think through whether this wedding issue might be a warning sign of larger issues under the surface. And definitely talk further with her about whatever comes up in prayer.
 
I think you should at least propose it to her parents. I don’t think they would refuse.
 
You can be married in the wedding rite outside of mass.

Mass is not the norm in a mixed marriage.
 
Remember, the wedding liturgy without Mass is the wedding liturgy without the Consecration. It is recommended for mixed marriages
 
I am sorry if this was answered before but is the situation based on the length of the mass?
FWIW we had 100 people at our mass, our priest was great at keeping the Baptists, Hindus, Methodists, Buddhists and more engaged and informed.
With communion host and wine (homemade!) the whole thing took 45 minutes and we rec’d a lot of really nice comments 🙂
 
Isn’t the couple normally married in the bride’s church? You can get a dispensation for this so your marriage will be valid.
 
Irishmom2 said:
You can get married in a Catholic church without a mass.
Click to expand...
@Kyle2253 ^^This.

This is exactly what my wife and I did. She didn’t want anything in our wedding that me or my family would be observers and not participants so we were married in the Catholic Church without Mass. It is still a valid Catholic Wedding and IS a sacrament (given both are baptized). I want to say the whole thing lasted about 25-35 min.

My wife and I have been together for over 20 years, married over 16. If you have questions about entering into a “mixed” marriage, I’m always happy to answer.

Edit: Also, if you think you’re going to be getting married in your parish, as about how they handle “mixed” marriages. I know some parishes don’t even give you the option of having a mass if it is a “mixed” marriage. My wife’s priest gave her the option and immediately said outside of Mass.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top