marriage question

[SonCatcher]

this wudnt usually be a problem but as i said she isnt a regular church attendee, she is christened catholic but not a follower of the religion, in your experience do you think a priest would be okay with doing a ceremony that (excuse the crass term struggling for another way to put it) tones down the use of alot of the heavier religous parts of the ceremony?

Whether she frequents the Mass is irrelevant. The Bishop is still responsible for her well-being.

i understand that all (i do sumwhat dissagree on the children part but thats another debate)
but after reading alot of the prayers and such from the wedding service i noticed there is alot of time where you are expected to say glory to god and such, this is the part that makes me uncomfortable

From what you have described, the most appropriate form of your marriage will be the Rite for Celebrating Marriage Outside of Mass. There is no Gloria in that form. I don’t think you specifically are required to recite any of the prayers in the liturgy (your participation in consent and exchanging vows, however, is critical).

 

[Garyjohn2]

He’s trying to avoid the Catholic ceremony entirely.

That’s true, but he asked what I would do.
In his case, it would be like having to have 2 weddings: a church wedding and a state wedding, to account for both belief sets. The cool part is the state recognizes church weddings, so they only have to do one!

In that case, the apt comparison would be “would you as a catholic have a wedding in a synagogue to your Jewish spouse if the Catholic Church saw this as valid?” That answer would be totally yes!

In this same way, getting married in a church is seen as valid by the state government, so its a two-for-one. Not bad.

 

[Leegal]

Actually, all of this questioning without a priest may be irrelevant.

Her status in the Church is taken into consideration too. And the priest can refuse to marry them at all, depending on how truthful she is with the priest.

I know because it happened to me, and I am the Catholic. Because of me, the priest refused to even consider us for a Catholic ceremony – not because of my non-Catholic spouse… Of course, I answered truthfully. What would be the point of lying to the priest as that would make the marriage invalid in they eyes of the Church.

So, been there and done it. She does not even know that the priest will marry them. All it takes is one wrong, but truthful, answer for the priest to refuse.

 

[SonCatcher]

Chris,

One more thing for you to think about:

An integral aspect of marriage is accepting your spouse for who she is. In your case, she is a Catholic. You seem to be expressing doubt about accepting that.

 

[Garyjohn2]

Actually, all of this questioning without a priest may be irrelevant.

Her status in the Church is taken into consideration too. And the priest can refuse to marry them at all, depending on how truthful she is with the priest.

I know because it happened to me, and I am the Catholic. Because of me, the priest refused to even consider us for a Catholic ceremony – not because of my non-Catholic spouse… Of course, I answered truthfully. What would be the point of lying to the priest as that would make the marriage invalid in they eyes of the Church.

So, been there and done it. She does not even know that the priest will marry them. All it takes is one wrong, but truthful, answer for the priest to refuse.

I didn’t know that. My spouse wasn’t practicing, and I was only recently practicing. I think I answered all the questions that same that I would have answered as when I wasn’t practicing though. I bet it differs from parish to parish.

Still, you bring up a good point. The #1 first step (before even setting a wedding date!) is to call the parish and arrange a meeting. The priest will direct from there. Don’t worry, they are professionals.

 

[Leegal]

I didn’t know that. My spouse wasn’t practicing, and I was only recently practicing. I think I answered all the questions that same that I would have answered as when I wasn’t practicing though. I bet it differs from parish to parish.

Still, you bring up a good point. The #1 first step (before even setting a wedding date!) is to call the parish and arrange a meeting. The priest will direct from there. Don’t worry, they are professionals.

Depends on the situation – you were recently practicing but I assume in good stead with the Church. His fiancee is not, as I was not.

I am Catholic; he was not. I answered the deal breaker question truthfully. I’m a sinner, was lapsed, but lying was never one of my sins. And the priest refused to marry us at all. In fact the priest went so far as to say that I was the problem, not my non-Catholic soon to be spouse.

The deal breaker question was ABC. I did not lie and the priest had no choice but to refuse.

She needs to see the priest to see what her status is within the Church. It’s not enough to go to confession and take pre-Cana if one is going into the marriage without reconciling with the Church, as I did not.

 

[johnthebaptist1]

If you had a sisution like your talking about,than work it out ,God will help you ,threw the Holy Spirit.and you be happy after God Bless