Marriage question

[marvi43]

Hello! My best friend is engaged to be married next June. Here is the situation, he is Catholic but she is not. She intends to convert once she is done with grad school. He lives here in Cali and she lives in New Mexico. The question is this, my feriend wants to be married by a priest. He knows it wont be a true Catholic wedding till it is blessed though. Could a priest officiate the ceremony? Has anyone had a similar situation? They can’t do the pre-marriage counseling together because the distance thing. Any advice?

 

[lizaanne]

He can marry a non-Catholic in a Catholic Nuptial Mass, the non-Catholic just has to sign a statement agreeing to raise children in the Catholic Faith.

Long distance marriage prep is possible - DH and I did it with 3,000+ miles between us. Just depends on what the priest is comfortable with doing, given the couple in question.

~Liza

 

[promethius95945]

Hello! My best friend is engaged to be married next June. Here is the situation, he is Catholic but she is not. She intends to convert once she is done with grad school. He lives here in Cali and she lives in New Mexico. The question is this, my feriend wants to be married by a priest. He knows it wont be a true Catholic wedding till it is blessed though. Could a priest officiate the ceremony? Has anyone had a similar situation? They can’t do the pre-marriage counseling together because the distance thing. Any advice?

Your friend needs to talk with his priest. There is nothing which prohibits a catholic from licitly marrying a non-catholic so long as certain criteria are met (friend promises to raise children catholic, catholic wedding ceremony, officiated by priest, etc). The biggest difficulty will be the pre-wedding counseling.

 

[gvogt4]

Well, information about her is lacking…ie: is she a validly baptized Christian.

Regrdless, unless there is some impediment to marriage (former marriage by either is just one example), your friend should be able to be married validly.

He needs to see his priest for direction.

 

[promethius95945]

the non-Catholic just has to sign a statement agreeing to raise children in the Catholic Faith

That is incorrect (the old way). Currently, the catholic member must swear to raise the children catholic, the non-catholic member is only required to acknowledge that they are aware of the promise made by the catholic member.

 

[lizaanne]

That is incorrect (the old way). Currently, the catholic member must swear to raise the children catholic, the non-catholic member is only required to acknowledge that they are aware of the promise made by the catholic member.

Not as of three years ago, unless something has changed in that short time. My ex-fiance was required to sign the document (I did as well).

~Liza

 

[THurifer2]

Huh?

 

[THurifer2]

so long as certain criteria are met (… officiated by priest, etc).

Not a requirement…Deacons can witness marriages…I know this because 95% of the marriages in my parish are NOT nuptial Masses. But it is Still a Sacrament…because the minister of the sacrament is the couple.

 

[Godfollower]

{Snip}
She intends to convert once she is done with grad school.
{Snip}

Priorities, priorities, priorities…{Sigh}.
:ehh:

 

[promethius95945]

Not a requirement…Deacons can witness marriages…I know this because 95% of the marriages in my parish are NOT nuptial Masses. But it is Still a Sacrament…because the minister of the sacrament is the couple.

sorry, should have stated “officiated by a catholic minister” which would have been more accurate since a bishop can (if they so choose) officiate a marraige as well.

Not as of three years ago, unless something has changed in that short time. My ex-fiance was required to sign the document (I did as well).

actually, this does not suprise me. It has been this way for a long time, but many people still innocently believe that the non-catholic must promise to raise the children catholic and so in some parishes it is not entirely uncommon to see this practice still enforced.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Hello! My best friend is engaged to be married next June. Here is the situation, he is Catholic but she is not. She intends to convert once she is done with grad school. He lives here in Cali and she lives in New Mexico. The question is this, my feriend wants to be married by a priest. He knows it wont be a true Catholic wedding till it is blessed though. Could a priest officiate the ceremony? Has anyone had a similar situation? They can’t do the pre-marriage counseling together because the distance thing. Any advice?

Why wouldn’t it be a true Catholic wedding?

As long as they receive a dispensation from the bishop (which is done through the priest) and they are married by a priest, in a catholic church, then it is VALID.

UNLESS either party has been previously married…then that’s a whole separate issue…it can’t be valid until all previous marriages have been annulled by the church.

I don’t see the problem here…unless there’s more facts that have yet to be revealed.

 

[1ke]

The question is this, my feriend wants to be married by a priest. He knows it wont be a true Catholic wedding till it is blessed though. Could a priest officiate the ceremony?

Your question is not very clear.

Yes, they can be married in the Catholic Church by a priest and it will be a valid marriage.

If you mean to ask if he can be married by a Catholic priest, but not following Church law and requirements-- then the answer to that is no.

Has anyone had a similar situation? They can’t do the pre-marriage counseling together because the distance thing. Any advice?

Yes, they **can **do premarriage counseling.

My DH lived in Wisconsin and I in Texas prior to our marriage. We were married in TX and did our marriage prep in both TX and WI. We attended the required retreat in WI and did our counseling with the deacon in TX (in one all-day Saturday session instead of several evenings). It was no problem at all to do our marriage prep, it just required some coordination on our part. They have plenty of time to get it done.

 

[marvi43]

Ok, I think what i’m trying to get at is that he will be Catholic and she will not be at the time of the wedding. The Catholic priest in ABQ says for them to get married in the Church they have to do the pre-marriage classes. Since he lives in Cali and she in NM they can’t do them together. Both have never been married before. I think if they could they would have the ceremony in the Church.

 

[promethius95945]

The Catholic priest in ABQ says for them to get married in the Church they have to do the pre-marriage classes. Since he lives in Cali and she in NM they can’t do them together.

That has already been addressed. they’ll have to coordinate for it but it can be done.

Both have never been married before.

good, that’s settled too then.

I think if they could they would have the ceremony in the Church.

Not only CAN they, they MUST in order for the church to recognize the marraige as valid and sacramental.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Ok, I think what i’m trying to get at is that he will be Catholic and she will not be at the time of the wedding. The Catholic priest in ABQ says for them to get married in the Church they have to do the pre-marriage classes. Since he lives in Cali and she in NM they can’t do them together. Both have never been married before. I think if they could they would have the ceremony in the Church.

Everything looks good to me.

They need only four things for this to be valid now.

1. Dispensation from local bishop (where they will be married.)
2. Priest to preside at Marriage
3. Marriage to take place in a Catholic Church/Chapel.
4. Two witnesses (or what their state/diocese requires.)

If those things are in place…then fly her in for the marriage prep and they’re ready for lift off!

 

[marvi43]

Awesome! I know he’ll be happy about that. I’m his best man so i’m trying to help him out here.

 

[1ke]

Ok, I think what i’m trying to get at is that he will be Catholic and she will not be at the time of the wedding.

They can be married in the Catholic Church if they follow the procedures for doing so

The Catholic priest in ABQ says for them to get married in the Church they have to do the pre-marriage classes. Since he lives in Cali and she in NM they can’t do them together. Both have never been married before. I think if they could they would have the ceremony in the Church.

Yes, they **CAN **do all of the required marriage prep even if at a distance. This will require work on their part. I did it. Lizaanne did it. Many others have done it.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Yes, they **CAN **do all of the required marriage prep even if at a distance. This will require work on their part. I did it. Lizaanne did it. Many others have done it.

I didn’t know this…I thought they had to meet with the priest together…I learn something new everyday on CAF!

Well, now, OP, you are doubley OK!

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

He can marry a non-Catholic in a Catholic Nuptial Mass, the non-Catholic just has to sign a statement agreeing to raise children in the Catholic Faith.

Long distance marriage prep is possible - DH and I did it with 3,000+ miles between us. Just depends on what the priest is comfortable with doing, given the couple in question.

~Liza

Actually, it is the Catholic who signs the statement promsing to do all he can to raise the children in the Faith. The non-Catholic only acknowledges the Catholic intends to to do that.

Bes thing for your firend to do: Call a priest. There is no reason why he cannot marry her in the Church, if the only fly in the ointment is her current religious affiliation.

 

[puzzleannie]

Well, information about her is lacking…ie: is she a validly baptized Christian.

Regrdless, unless there is some impediment to marriage (former marriage by either is just one example), your friend should be able to be married validly.

He needs to see his priest for direction.

he can also get a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic. If he does he will be strenuously advised to have a ceremony outside Mass, since the bride and at least half the guests will be excluded from communion. They can do marriage prep at parish closest to where they are going to school or working and provide certificate to that effect to priest who is going to marry them. There is also some simple paperwork if they are getting married outside their own parish or diocese.