Marriage questions

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Hospitaller_Kni

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I am not married so forgive me for being naïve or unrealistic, but what are the main causes for divorce/break ups for marriages, understandably lack of communication is a major factor.
also is it just downright laziness and selfishness? so if both spouses devoted themselves to the marriage and God obviously would there be less of this.
the reason I ask is because I would find this helpful to learn from as this could be my vocation.
 
I wanted to say " men!" but I think a more accurate answer is
Selfishness.
Each party trying to get what they want/ needs and not what the other wants/ needs.

I have found that the next biggest problem is not communication, but not listening.

Put your spouse first, and she put you first, secret one
Listen and act on what is said, secret two.
And laugh, all you can.
 
Choose wisely and treat kindly. Don’t marry because you are in love. That won’t last. If you marry someone who doesn’t value marriage it will most likely end in divorce. If you don’t treat kindly it doesn’t matter who you marry it will probably end in divorce
 
Deltadeliquent said:
I have found that the next biggest problem is not communication, but not listening.

Put your spouse first, and she put you first, secret one
Listen and act on what is said, secret two.
And laugh, all you can.
Click to expand...
I think that’s great advice. When I was a child, my parents had a quote on marriage next to their room. It said something to the effect of ‘Love is not finding the right person, it’s being the right person.’ I think our society doesn’t put enough emphasis on that.
 
Aside from the examples already given, I think some people just aren’t ready for it. It might deal with a bit of selfishness, but when it comes to finances and such too, some people just aren’t ready. They’ll jump into it feeling in love, but not ready for the true tests of love and marriage.
 
I remember reading or hearing somewhere that the 3 top reasons for divorce were sexual issues, money issues, and career issues. It’s a shame what people will put above what can be a life-long relationship.
 
Deltadeliquent said:
I wanted to say " men!" but I think a more accurate answer is
Selfishness.
Each party trying to get what they want/ needs and not what the other wants/ needs.

I have found that the next biggest problem is not communication, but not listening.

Put your spouse first, and she put you first, secret one
Listen and act on what is said, secret two.
And laugh, all you can.
Click to expand...
Some might say “women!” Especially since more than 60% of divorces are initiated by women. I don’t think that was very nice or charitable of you.
 
My observations of several friends’ divorces leads me to believe that a lot of people rush into a marriage… they are in love with being in love. Then the “honeymoon” ends after a couple of years and they are stuck with a person who isn’t what they expected. I think the marriages where husband and wife are truly best friends are the ones who last.

Marriage is also WORK- I think people expect it to be easy. It’s not. But it’s worth it. 🙂
 
Not being in agreement on how to raise children. My husband and I didn’t discuss it before we had them. His way was strict but I tend to be easy going so conflicts arose over the years as they were growing up.
 
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