Marriage relations questions/concerns

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Amccordford

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My husband has some severe mental health issues (severe anxiety and depression) that would become significantly worse (he tried to kill himself after our 4th child was born; that was when all his anxieties first broke out. I fear a repeat attempt) if we were to have more children (we had 4 within 4 years). While we are able to abstain currently following NFP, the restrictiveness of my cycles (long fertile times) are causing my husband more issues. (Darned if you do, darned if you don’t). He needs that intimacy and closeness to feel “normal”, and after all, it is part of any healthy marriage, however, we cannot risk any more children at this time. I am looking for info on what we can do to foster that physical intimacy without the risk of more precious children.

Feel free to PM me.
 
I’m so very sorry to hear about your circumstances. My intended lives with chronic clinical depression and I have had seasonal/circumstantial depression in the past. I strongly suggest counseling, jointly and individually. I know time and resources can be tight with young children but please look into free and reduced price therapy programs. It goes without saying that you should speak to your parish priest.
 
Yes, we do both receive therapy (I have lived with depression nearly all my life) thru our local community health and while there has been improvement, especially in the fact that my husband even wants to “unite” with me when he didn’t before, we’re finding there is almost no time available in my cycle. Normally this would simply be the normal sacrifice of any married couple, but the pressure of it is making him feel trapped and isolated from me, his biggest source of support, spiking his anxiety and depression.
 
Be careful not to fall into the trap that He needs sex with you, on demand, to treat his mental illness. The Marital Embrace is not to be administered like drugs to get a high. I’m sure you have his Spiritual well being first, in your concerns. I feel for you!

May God bless, and heal your family. I will remember you, in my prayers.
 
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