Marriage Restoration

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CATHOLIC10

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Please pray for our Lord to give me discernment regarding my marriage. My husband has been fighting me for two years for a divorce (he is involved with someone else). I have prayed and prayed but nothing seems to change. I am weary. My divorce will become final in August and I feel as though there is nothing I can do to stop it. I just don’t know if our Lord wants me to accept it and file for an annulment or keep praying. I am truly unhappy and don’t want to continue living this way. We were married for 23 years and I’m lonely.
Thank you for your prayers. God Bless.
 
I’m sorry you are struggling so much in your marriage. I have prayed for your intention.
 
Praying to the Holy Family on behalf of you and your husband. May God bless you both and may you find in the Holy Fmaily, a source of peace, consolation, and belonging. Amen
 
Still extremely confused about what the Lord wants me to do about my marriage. I met with my parish priest and he again stated because of the pattern in infidelity/addiction/mis-trust throughout my marriage from day one he feel I should seek an annulment. I love my husband but he has made it very clear that he is never coming back. It all feels so hopeless. I also know I can’t be married to him as thing were before. He has to change and he has given me no indication that he desires to. He’s also involved with another person and seems to be happy with her. Prayers for God’s direction would be appreciated.
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

:signofcross:
 
CATHOLIC10 said:
Please pray for our Lord to give me discernment regarding my marriage. My husband has been fighting me for two years for a divorce (he is involved with someone else). I have prayed and prayed but nothing seems to change. I am weary. My divorce will become final in August and I feel as though there is nothing I can do to stop it. I just don’t know if our Lord wants me to accept it and file for an annulment or keep praying. I am truly unhappy and don’t want to continue living this way. We were married for 23 years and I’m lonely.
Thank you for your prayers. God Bless.
Click to expand...
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help or sought your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

:signofcross:
 
CATHOLIC10 said:
Please pray for our Lord to give me discernment regarding my marriage. My husband has been fighting me for two years for a divorce (he is involved with someone else). I have prayed and prayed but nothing seems to change. I am weary. My divorce will become final in August and I feel as though there is nothing I can do to stop it. I just don’t know if our Lord wants me to accept it and file for an annulment or keep praying. I am truly unhappy and don’t want to continue living this way. We were married for 23 years and I’m lonely.
Thank you for your prayers. God Bless.
Click to expand...
Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

:signofcross:
 
I too have a problem and am so afraid I have made big mistakes and now have to make big decisions. I am becoming convinced after 30 years of marriage that my first marriage was valid and that I am living in a state of adultery with my second wife (though the church says it is “sacramental”) and was the unknowing victim of Diocesan Tribunals who grant way too many annulments.

if I decide to leave and remain single or be reconciled there just doesn’t seem to be any spiritual support. I cannot find a priest who tells me anything but, “Look, your first marriage was annulled, get on with it.” The real guilt and condemnation started when I read an article by now deceased Msr. Clettinger said that with so many invalid annulments being given out that the Church is in effect leading people into adultery.

When these feelings come I often end up believing that I must separate from my wife and daughter.

I was one of those who just “got married” in the late 60’s without faith, without preparation, drinking, partying, having sex, drugs, etc. three years into the marriage (age 23) I "woke up one morning " and realized that there had to be more to marriage than what we had.I was thinking there should be a deep caring for one another and a sharing of life on a deeper level which there was not and never had been.I shared that with my first wife.She had no idea what I was talking about and said “no, this is all there is”. There is nothing deeper

After several years of deepdespair God put some people in my path and i experienced a dramaticrelease of the Holy Spirit’s power in my life, and felt like I was able to love my wife in a way I never had before.

I continued trying to love her but she abandoned me and the children after another year or so.She said she would never submit her life to a man, meaning Jesus.

It was overwhelming and after a year I divorced her and did not really think about sacrament of marriage at the time.

I had heard about the annulment process and put my case out in good faith, just wanting the Church to tell me the truth about my first marriage.

I had met a woman at the weekly prayer meeting, and we used to pray that each other’s marriages would be healed. She was in a similar situation. We were friends, not seeing each other, but in the end I was attracted to her.We were serious about our faith, and talked sometimes about marriage but agreed we would never consider it without being free to marry in the Church.

We both applied in good faith for annulments with the clear understanding that we would not date or move toward marriage without annulments.In fact, I tried all I could to not look for reasons to,“get the annulment”.I just wanted the truth.Well they were granted and we dated,and got married in the Church in 30 some years ago. Daughter born in 80’s who is in mid-twenties now.She is a fine young woman. We have thoroughly taught her the faith and she is living it.

It seems like in many ways our marriage is blessed and has been blessed.How could God have blessed us like He did and now show me that we never even had a marriage?

Underlying problems came up periodically, such that I would end up feeling like I was still married to my first wife.

Early on in the marriage I left my current wife at least four times thinking I was “obeying God” by removing myself from the situation.Well when I would go get my apartment and live alone I thought i would sense a bit of peace or a general knowledge that i was doing the right thing.However, i would quickly get into pornography, drinking a bit, and generally getting further away from God and no peace at all.I would pray to Him about separating from the “remarriage” situation, expecting to have some sense that I was doing the right thing.I would just be in depression.I would “wait for a word” from the Lord and it would never come, so I would always come back to by current (sacramental wife, per the Church) and she always took me back but the problems persisted.

She believes very strongly that we have asacramental marriage and I do too but am shaky about it, such that hearing a word like “faithfulness” or"indissolubility" or a or reading St. John Chrysostom‚s thoughts on this, sometimes causes distress.I end up thinking this distress is the natural result of disobeying God or breaking natural law, but when I act on it and tell my wife that I must leave her and perhaps divorce, I go into depression and feel totally abandoned by God. plus when I have left it has been disastrous (at least thus far).

Am I going to hell for remarriage?Was the Church wrong to give me an annulment?How would I know.I was not the one “defending” the marriage at the time, I filed for the annulment and my ex-wife did not contest. Obviously I did not appeal to Rome nor would I even if I had known about it.I really did not think I had a valid marriage.I generally try to work through this in prayer, but the problem reappears once in a while.

I wonder to myself that If the Church was wrong to give these annulments and 10’s of thousands of sacramentally remarried Catholics are really living in adultery how does one go about undoing them and how does one know which were really invalid and which ones were valid?For an ongoing case it would be simpler but what about my case which was over 35 years ago. It seems very subjective. I went into the process in “good faith” and trusted the Church.What if my anullment was invalid?How would I find out?Must I now leave what seems to have been a great sacramental Christian marriage in many ways and go back to a marriage the Church says never existed sacramentally.

On the other hand what if I am in a sacramental marriage now and leave, thinking it is not and end up ruining my family?
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

:signofcross:
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

:signofcross:
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

:signofcross:
 
:gopray:

St. Jude, during your life you encouraged early Christian followers to remain loyal and true to their faith, even during the harshest circumstances. Like these followers, CATHOLIC10 and her Husband now find themselves in need of renewed faith. Time and the pressures of the world have weakened their relationship. Please intercede for them and show them the way to heal their marriage. Open their hearts and minds to rededicate a new relationship guided by the love and commitment they once knew. Help them put aside any negative remnants of past deeds done and embark on a new union, in accordance with our Lord’s principles.

:signofcross:
 
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