I was asked when I married. I know others who were asked.
Prior to 1983?
And, let’s be fair: the question “in what faith tradition do you plan to raise your children?” is fair game in a marital interview; not in the sense of “answer wrong and I won’t marry you,” but in the sense of “let’s start the discussion here, and see where it goes.” If the answer is “yep, no problem,” then there’s no need to go any further. If the answer is anything else, then the discussion would likely turn in the direction of what the couple has already talked about and whether they’ve reached a decision they both can abide by, in the context of Christian marriage as it’s understood by the Church.
I know people who received annulments because of issues related to this.
“Related to this”, or
precisely because one spouse refused? Like I said, there are certain technicalities which
might come into play, but generally, this is not the case.
Several of these instances took place after the year 1983
Weddings after 1983, or annulments after 1983?
, but of course not all priests, in all situations go strictly by the book, so perhaps those situations were not according to the current dictates of the Church.
Right; it’s possible that an older priest might still be doing things the way he always did prior to '83. That’s not good, of course, since it only confuses the faithful…
I say that because I do know of annulments that were granted concerning those issues.
Fraud, maybe… but not because the children weren’t raised Catholic, if the marriage took place in '83 or later and the person hadn’t made any promises… right?
I was asked that by the priest prior to marriage, but again, that may be the old school way, or perhaps the priest was not supposed to bring that issue up.
Well, again, it’s a question of why the issue would be brought up. In a discussion geared toward learning whether the couple is open to having children, the legitimate first thing to determine is whether there’s a potential issue: if the couple doesn’t practice birth control, then there’s no issue, and the conversation moves on to the next topic. If they
do, though, then there’s the opportunity (and the need!) for some catechesis on the Church’s teachings. The goal of the conversation, of course, is to determine whether the couple will welcome the gift of procreation in their marriage.
Entering a marriage with the understanding that both are going to participate in grave sin in order to avoid children, while claiming to be open to children does seem to be a likely thing to invalidate a marriage. Seeing as a promise was being made that the parties did not intend to keep. But I can see where there would be wiggle room.
Remember, the question isn’t “are you going to be open to children on your wedding night?” but rather “are you open to children?” The answer is often, “oh, yeah, in five years or so…” which provides the opportunity to enter into discussion. If the couple said “yes, but we’ll be practicing NFP for the first five years,” would you still say that they’re only “claiming to be open to children” while making “a promise that [they]… did not intend to keep”?
I was pointing out that no matter the precise current laws the Church has regarding these things, the couple will have to live day in and day out with the beliefs and sentiments of the family members. Citing current church law is all well and good, but unlikely to cause the family to back off of hopes, wishes and dreams close to their heart.
Yep, that makes sense.
I am surprised that the Church on one hand requires the Catholic to say they will do everything they can to make sure their children are raised in the faith, yet would then agree to allow the person to marry (and likely have children with) someone who would not agree to allow the children to be baptized and raised Catholic.
True; and that’s why it’s important to ask the question. If the person says ‘no way’, then it’s important to be able to turn to the Catholic fiance(e) and ask, “were you aware of this? what have you two talked about, regarding children?” in order to make sure that they’re on the same page. If they
are on the same page, then it’s time to ask the Catholic fiance[e] whether they realize that the Church is going to ask him/her to raise any children Catholic. If they
aren’t on the same page, then it’s time to ask them to start talking about it and understanding what the issues are and how they plan to address them.
Unless the marriage is arranged, or forced, which again, going against the teaching of the church…would invalidate the marriage.
Oh, an arranged marriage isn’t invalid… if the couple consents.
It is my experience and understanding that prior to the ceremony the priests asks the couples (individually) whether they are marrying of their own free will.
Correct – and in the ceremony, too!
That teaching broke a lot of hearts, but it did encourage people to marry within the faith and tend to the eternal well being of their children’s souls.
Actually, what it did was encourage lots of people to lie. :sad_yes:
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