Marriage status?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Marquay
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right? The worst part is that he refuses to even discuss it with me. I am going to make an appt with our priest ASAP. I’m not even sure who all knows. I’m fairly certain that his brother and sister know but what about his children that I know? I’m not going to tell them, but geesh. This is all just bouncing around in my head. So thanks for listening and responding.
 
We had a Catholic Wedding. The paperwork for the previous marriages had to be submitted. He gave me the names and I did the work. So, he certainly withheld the info. And through the years as other “secrets” have popped up, I’ve asked, now is there anything else that might pop up sometime? Answer is always, no. So did he withheld that little piece of info, yes. And now he says since it happened so long ago he doesn’t want to talk about it and I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
 
Ours was his first Catholic Wedding, so the Church had nothing to look into other than the info we provided. Definitely not the fault of the Church records.
 
But who annulled that marriage? Was it a Church or civil annulment?
 
I don’t know. He isn’t talking. I’ve searched ancestry and can only find the marriage. I’m mostly concerned how it effects our marriage in the church. Then I’ll deal with how it effects me.
 
Was he baptized Catholic at the time of this first marriage?
 
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Then if he married outside the church without a dispensation, it was not a valid attempt at marriage. In the US, this requires documentation but not a decree of nullity.

Again, talk to your pastor but it sounds like it would not have been an invalidating impediment if he was Catholic and married outside the Church. Of course all facts are important and we don’t have them all here.
 
As the others said go and talk to your priest. Try not to be so panicked. You haven’t done anything wrong. I can only imagine how stressful this must be for you. I expect your husband feels backed into a corner so is doing that thing people do when they know they’ve done something and been caught out and trying to cover it up by minimising the issue. But all is not lost, I am sure that the church will be able to help you and he sort this out in some way. Of course hubby will need to step up at some point. My mom and dad had some complex issues to sort out to be together too and there are all sorts of bits in canon law to assist, so don’t assume the worst, trust in God and pray for your husband. God bless you both.
 
I think you’re being selfish and self absorbed. You should back off for a bit and not bug him. When there is something I don’t want to talk about, it’s because it was rather traumatic and still really hurts. As I feel closer to someone, I open up little by little as I trust that that person isn’t going to hurt me. It’s difficult to feel vulnerable. Don’t worry about whatever happened way back. Just focus on the present, and create a loving wonderful life. Everybody makes mistakes and has done things they regret, to keep throwing it in his face is just mean.
Say a couple of ‘I statements’ in a loving way, like ‘Sometimes I’m concerned if God sees our marriage as valid since I’m not sure if your first marriage was annulled or not’ and ‘I love you so much and I want us both to go to heaven, so I hope he does’ then drop it, and talk about something loving and non-confrontational. As he feels closer to you, he’ll come around.

Perhaps his first wife and child died, in which case no annulment is necessary.
 
Puzzler said:
I think you’re being selfish and self absorbed. You should back off for a bit and not bug him.
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She’s selfish and self-absorbed because her husband failed to tell her about a previous marriage???
 
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