Marriage Validation At A Standstil

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In order to go forward with our marriage validation, my diocese is insisting on a copy of my former spouse’s marriage certificate from a previous marriage. She was married in New York State and those certificates are not a matter of public record, so I am unable to obtain a copy. They would issue one to her, but she will not participate because she has hatred for the church.

We have everything else they’ve asked for and we’ve gone through marriage prep.

Has anyone else run into this problem? If so, how did you resolve it?

Thanks!
 
How is your parish priest treating you?
Maybe he could arrange a meeting with your bishop to talk about solutions to your problem.

I don’t know your ex-wife, but talking to her seems a lost case.
 
Looking at this page: health.ny.gov/vital_records/marriage.htm

Who is eligible to obtain a marriage certificate copy?
Code:
The spouses
Other persons who have a:
    documented judicial or other proper purpose
    New York State Court Order
What is a judicial or other proper purpose?

If the applicant is not a spouse, a judicial or other proper purpose must be documented. An example of a judicial or other proper purpose would be a marriage record needed by the applicant to claim a benefit. Documentation would consist of an official letter from the agency verifying that to process the claim they require from the applicant a copy of the requested marriage record.

Have you talked with someone from the Tribunal? They must have run into this before and would be able to write “an offical letter from the agency verifying that to process the claim they require from the applicant a copy of the requested marriage record.”
 
I concur with SuscipeMeDomine regarding more investigation into obtaining the records for tribunal purposes.

It seems that you or your advocate are approaching this as a Ligamen (prior bond) case asserting that your marriage to A was not valid because she was previously married to B. That requires documentation from both A and B. And if you are not able to obtain that information you cannot pursue a Ligamen case.

However, you can still pursue a full tribunal nullity case on other grounds, if there are any, examining your marriage with A only. A need not participate, although A will certainly be given the opportunity to do so.
 
How is your parish priest treating you?
Maybe he could arrange a meeting with your bishop to talk about solutions to your problem.
We were working with another priest on this a few years ago and he passed away shortly after we got the ball rolling. We kind of let it go for a long time after that and our sponsors have encouraged us to move forward again. We are now working with a Deacon and he’s been great. He does say he needs a copy of that certificate before it can go any further.

Young Ludovicus said:
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I don’t know your ex-wife, but talking to her seems a lost case.

Without getting too personal, I’ll summarize by saying that she became an athiest because her Mother died of cancer at a relatively young age (58) and that led her to believe there is no God. We are still friends but she ridicules the fact that I went through RCIA and became Catholic.
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SuscipeMeDomine:
Have you talked with someone from the Tribunal? They must have run into this before and would be able to write “an offical letter from the agency verifying that to process the claim they require from the applicant a copy of the requested marriage record.”
I’ve only spoken with the Deacon, but I will contact him and see if that can be arranged. That may work.
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1ke:
It seems that you or your advocate are approaching this as a Ligamen (prior bond) case asserting that your marriage to A was not valid because she was previously married to B. That requires documentation from both A and B. And if you are not able to obtain that information you cannot pursue a Ligamen case.
That sounds like what we’ve been told. Because my ex-wife was previously married outside the church, her marriage to him and myself were not valid. He said it doesn’t require an annulment since the marriage was never recognized to begin with and that it’s simply an amount of paperwork.

Thanks everyone for the answers. I think I know the best plan of action at this point.
 
That sounds like what we’ve been told. Because my ex-wife was previously married outside the church, her marriage to him and myself were not valid. He said it doesn’t require an annulment since the marriage was never recognized to begin with and that it’s simply an amount of paperwork.
To pursue Ligamen you are going to need information on both your ex and her ex. I hope you are able to obtain what you need.

If you cannot, don’t give up. Pursue a full tribunal case instead.
 
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