Marriage Validation Question

  • Thread starter Thread starter MooCowSteph
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

MooCowSteph

Guest
Hello all,

I have a question- my husband and I are going to have a marriage validation ceremony in a few weeks at our home parish. I am wondering if I am supposed to “tip” the priest or do something to show my thanks. I know you usually do with regular weddings, but this will be a quick, maybe 5 minute ceremony before mass. What do you think?
 
ask the parish secretary or the deacon or pastoral person who prepared you for your marriage. your parish has a set fee for use of the church to cover expenses, and also a suggested sacramental donation for each sacrament, which is usually minimal. these used to be called stole fees, and went to the priest who celebrated the sacrament, and made up his entire personal income. now either they go in the parish fund to cover expenses related to sacramental record keeping (which are not negligible), or the priest has the option to retain these donations and declare them as income for tax purposes. The parish secretary can tell you what the usual amounts are. Generally the groom or best man or groom’s family pays for weddings.
 
40.png
asquared:
ask the parish secretary or the deacon or pastoral person who prepared you for your marriage. your parish has a set fee for use of the church to cover expenses, and also a suggested sacramental donation for each sacrament, which is usually minimal. these used to be called stole fees, and went to the priest who celebrated the sacrament, and made up his entire personal income. now either they go in the parish fund to cover expenses related to sacramental record keeping (which are not negligible), or the priest has the option to retain these donations and declare them as income for tax purposes. The parish secretary can tell you what the usual amounts are. Generally the groom or best man or groom’s family pays for weddings.
Click to expand...
We didn’t really do any “preparing” since we are aleady married. There are not any expenses related to the service, since it will be in the chapel right before Mass, although you mentioned record keeping which would apply to us. There will not be communion, again, since we are doing it before Mass. We don’t have a wedding party, either. It is because of all this that I am not sure if a fee is required. Special situation. I should also mention that we are members of this parish and contribute money weekly, as well as a lot of our time.
 
This isn’t about whether or not you tithe to your parish. Your priest doesn’t exactly see a rise or fall in his monthly salary either way–it is set FOR him by the diocese. (The priests of my home archdiocese receive a little over $900 a month. Very little. And yes, most of the priests I know give 10% of THAT right back to their parish.)

I would consider it a kindness and ultimately a show of respect for his office of the priesthood–without him or someone else of his office (another priest) you would not be convalidating.

Be generous. What we give always comes back to us.

If you are active in your parish, you probably know your priest well and it just might hurt his feelings if you don’t tip him anything whatsoever.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top