Marriage voacation vs parents

[underacloud]

blujazz25,

Your husband and your future children are your primary family now. If you hadn’t married, in the normal course of events, your parents would eventually age and die, leaving you very much alone if they were everything to you. By marrying and having a family, you are enlarging your social safety net and providing for a better old age for yourself. It’s not a sure thing, but nothing is.

Don’t ever tell your husband that you wish you hadn’t married–save that for a therapist or confessor. Work on putting a little emotional space between you and your parents, and work on showing more loyalty toward your husband. Give him the benefit of the doubt from now on in disputes or misunderstandings, just as you want him to give you the benefit of the doubt. (Obviously, sometimes he will be in the wrong, but this does not sound like one of those cases.) Anyway, maybe your parents needed a little more space or wanted to see their friend? Or maybe you seemed overwrought and they wanted to give you some space to pull yourself together?

Be friendly with your parents, but remember that your primary relationship is with your husband. A move is always hard–give yourself some time.

Yes, I completely agree.

Disagreements with parents will happen. Misunderstandings over what was said, especially when people are from different backgrounds, are unavoidable. There are certain things beyond your control. But it is within your control how you handle these things. Telling your husband that you regret your marriage sticks out as the most troubling part of the whole situation. You say you have apologised, which is good, but you should firmly resolve to never say such a thing again. And you should be aware of the great hurt your husband likely already feels. Be kind to him. Focus on him and ensuring that any hurt you have inflicted is mended. As others have said, he is your most important family now.