Marriage vocation...or not?

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Marie1234

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Hi everyone,

I just am wondering, how does a person know what vocation they are meant to be in?

I’ve always wanted to be a wife and mother very much, but I am also attracted to the idea of dedicating my life to God’s work and helping others. How do I know what my calling is?

If I tend to gravitate more toward marriage, is that an indication that I should enter into that vocation? I talked to my priest about this and he asked me if I think I could hack the celibate life. I said probably not…he gave me the impression that marriage is probably the right path for me as well.

I know it’s hard to answer something like this on an online forum, but I would really appreciate some advice or information about how to find your vocation.

Lately, I really think I should marry, but how can I be sure?

Thanks 🙂
 
Marie1234 said:
I’ve always wanted to be a wife and mother very much, but I am also attracted to the idea of dedicating my life to God’s work and helping others. How do I know what my calling is?
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Why can’t it be both?

You can certainly get married and have children. When you have time, you can help in your local parish in many ways. That can be anything from cleaning pews to helping in food kitchens. Helping people does not require becoming a sister and not getting married.
 
I am just going to restate the obvious - vocation means calling. So we do not enter a vocation, we listen to and (hopefully) follow the calling - God’s calling.

I consider, also from what I have been taught, that we all experience to some extent a natural desire to both marry&have a family and to the ministry (which has several flavors, that is, I may be called to be a priest, or a friar, or a member of a Third Order community with vow of celibacy…).

The question is: what is God’s calling? Of all those good desires, which one is the one that will fulfill God’s will for me?

And I believe - as one trying to discern vocation at this time - that at one moment God will make it very evident and clear, beyond reasonable doubt, what our vocation is. As long, of course, as we give up ourselves and our will to God.

What I personally do is: wait, pray, be open to God’s will. If vocation means calling, but my sins have made me deaf, I will implore the beloved to heal my ears or talk louder, that I may hear His voice and follow him.
 
You could marry and join a Third Order. Then, you can theoretically have what you seem to want.

For example, you could get married (and all that stuff) and join the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, do missions with the Jesuits and/or work at their missions, and still be married.
 
Thank you all for your help. I especially appreciate the comments about entering marriage and a Third Order. Perhaps that’s what I’m meant to do?

I just have one more question. How exactly does one know if God is calling them to a specific vocation? At times, I feel called to marriage, other times to the religious life. Lately, I feel a very strong pull toward marriage, but how can I definitively be sure that is my calling?

I just want to do what God wants me to do.

Thank you for your time 🙂
 
Fr. Robert Barron is a clergyman who has a Youtube channel, where he uploads videos about his thoughts on certain things (the Political Debates, the Contraception Scandal, Christmas…); it’s AWESOME! I love his Youtube channel. One of his videos, where he briefly spoke about vocations, his Youtube audience started posting several comments, like, “Fr. B, how do you expect me to find out what my vocation is,” and things like that. Fr. Barron responded typing, something along the lines of, “Pray, pray, and just keep praying to find what your vocation is.” I’d link you to the video where he commented that back, to the first response, but I can’t find the video, and I saw it a long time ago.

But, I’d pray to God ask of his wisdom to touch you, so you can find what your vocation is, or something like that.

And, in this case, I think that you could ask St. Augustine (of Hippo) to pray for you. I believe that he was a very intelligent man. And, I’ll add you to my prayers. 😉

But, I think that you could start by volunteering at your local parish; working the front office (greeter’s position), helping out in Youth Group, coordinating Youth Group, volunteering for your local non-profit Catholic missions/associations which help people with the poor.

And, you could for sure, start investigating all about Third Orders, to see if that is where you find your calling be.
 
Marie1234 said:
Thank you all for your help. I especially appreciate the comments about entering marriage and a Third Order (religious service/work). Perhaps that’s what I’m meant to do?
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To be honest, I think that you already know what your vocation will be. 😉

Trust in him, and you will know.
 
I suggest you meditate on contemplate the life of Our Lady all the way to pentecost. Her vocation was to be a wife, a mother, and a life fully dedicated to God. 🙂
 
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