Marriage with non-catholics

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Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m taking all your advice to mind.
 
That’s a fair statement about looking at personality. My husband is very laid back about almost everything apart from his job. I would not have married some one who clashed with me on religion, including some Catholics I met who had different ideas about the faith than I did.
 
BlackFriar said:
The couple in my opinion are not yet ready for a Catholic marriage preparation course.
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It’s interesting. The ‘conventional wisdom’ is that the best Pre-Cana classes are ones not run by clergy, but by couples who have been married for many years.

Sometimes, the answer isn’t “go see a priest”, but rather, “go talk to good, solid Catholics who’ve walked the path you’re thinking of walking”…
BlackFriar said:
My advice is not to listen to us amateurs on an anonymous Catholic Forum
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How do you know that the posters here are ‘amateurs’? 😉
 
Because an anonymous public forum is not the place one could ever discover who is amateuer and who is not and its full of contradictory advice.
All fairly self evident.
 
AdamPeter said:
My own advice to the OP is to think long and hard before marrying a non-Catholic. There are enough difficulties in marriage without making things more complicated. Also when it comes to compromise, it can’t be all one-way. She will have to be willing to compromise too.
Personally I wouldn’t have married someone who was determined to have the wedding in a Protestant church.
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This is very good and wise advise. I know of several situations where one is Catholic, the other is not, or even atheist. It doesn’t mean that it’s doomed to failure for sure, but the couple that sacrifices and compromise their faith lose something in their sacrifice. For the marriages that have endured, in almost every case, one of the 2 will give up their faith. LIke one of my 7th Day Adventists friends who married a Catholic woman. Their marriage has lasted for many years, but she refuses to convert and often she doesn’t attended the SDA saturday services. I told him, she knows the truth, and it’s hard for her to just convert and ignore it

Like I’ve said on a similar thread, you really have to think long and hard what role faith is in your life. Are you devoutly Catholic, or really just Catholic in name and identity? It will probably come to a point where her family may be distant from you, even if you decide to marry in her church . Sometimes Catholicism itself, is what gives non-Catholics their identity, separating themselves from all things Catholics is just reflective of these beliefs.
You should probably try to get a feel for how her family feels about the Catholic Church, not just whether they’d allow marriage in it What if she became Catholic 10 years from now , how would they feel?

Catholicism and faith isn’t like politics and opinions. It’s a way of life for many of us. It’s a priority because life revolves around it, not the other way around… Hope it works out well for both of you.
 
Gorgias said:
The ‘conventional wisdom’ is that the best Pre-Cana classes are ones not run by clergy, but by couples who have been married for many years.
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I’m kind of 50/50 on that. We had two couples running ours. Over the course of the workshop it came out that one couple was on their second marriage after divorce/annulment, although they were a nice grandparent-ish couple and did give good advice. I realize some people get divorced for reasons that are not their fault, so I set that one aside though it seemed a little odd to have them in this particular ministry.

However, the other couple were just weird beyond belief. They shared very dysfunctional stories about their family that made me think they really should be home spending time with the kids instead of teaching a weekend workshop. The wife eventually started crying in the middle of teaching a session. I was really uncomfortable with them in the teaching role.
 
But it does mean one should not consult here but with a known professional as originally stated.
 
When my parents married, they had two ceremonies. One was in her Protestant church and the other in his Catholic Church. I was raised in both faiths. And my mother, after spending most of her life as a Protestant, converted and became Catholic.
 
Guys, i broke up with her. I feel so depressed right now. Please pray for me. I pray that im doing is what God wants… thank you for all your advice…
 
I’m sorry. If you have second thoughts, please talk to your priest.
On the other hand, if this discussion resulted in a break-up, it may be the engagement wasn’t on a firm footing and this would have emerged during your pre-Cana anyway.
 
DM_P said:
Guys, i broke up with her. I feel so depressed right now. Please pray for me. I pray that im doing is what God wants… thank you for all your advice…
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I’ll be praying for you, @DM_P…!
 
Sorry for your struggle DM_P. I hope the right resolution comes about.
Generally speaking, it is ok to get anonymous advice, but there is no substitute for face to face with your loved ones. This is where the rubber hits the road, so to speak, with you and your loved ones in the crucible of love. And with your pastor, face to face.

Our daughter is marrying a secular Hindu, so we have similar circumstances. She cannot have a Catholic wedding for complex reasons, but they will be married. She is not a practicing Catholic anyway.
We will take part in the wedding and have a joyous occasion with them. God will work with them, possibly through the witness of my wife and I’s marriage. We’ve been married for 27 years. The conversion of my daughter and this man may be the mission of our marriage. We will see.
 
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This is my understanding: For a Catholic who married outside of the church, the marriage would be considered invalid, and any relations would be a mortal sin. And you would not be able to receive communion in such a state.

Please talk to your priest about the process of having the marriage con-validated in the Catholic church.

Peace,
John Marie Philomena
 
JohnMPhilomena said:
This is my understanding: For a Catholic who married outside of the church, the marriage would be considered invalid, and any relations would be a mortal sin. And you would not be able to receive communion in such a state.

Please talk to your priest about the process of having the marriage con-validated in the Catholic church.

Peace,
John Marie Philomena
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John,
With all due respect, you’re wrong. It is possible for a marriage that takes place outside of a Catholic Church building to be valid – it simply requires the Church to dispense the requirements of form prior to the ceremony. This is possible in the case when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic (but not when two Catholics marry).

What you’re saying here is not true. Please consider not sharing this ‘advice’ with others. 😉
 
In addition to the advice being incorrect as Gorgias said, it’s a bit of a moot point now as the OP stated a couple posts above that he broke up with his fiancee.
 
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