Marriage

[benjoy07]

I need help to answer a friend’s question. Why should I get married? It’s just a piece of paper. I said because the Bible says it pleases God. But now that I’ve checked, I don’t see any passages that say that explicitly. I couldn’t even find a passage saying that premarital sex is not allowed. I’ve found passages about immorality, which is vague to many non-Catholics. Was I wrong to say that marriage pleases God? Thanks for your help.

 

[brockmac]

Marriage definitely is pleasing to God. If it was not important, Jesus would not have said let no man put usunder what God has joined (paraphrase) or whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultary, or even whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultary in his mind. Those are just quotes from the Gospel according to Matthew. Going back to Genesis, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone.

Now as to the “piece of paper” comment. It is definitely more than a “piece of paper.” When two people get married, they commit their entire lives, in fact, their entire selves to each other. I know that when I got married, I thought I couldn’t possibly love my DW any more than I did that day. I was wrong. As much as I loved her then, I couldn’t possiibly imagine the depth of the love I have now, and I can only attribute this to the grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony.

That brings up a whole other thing. I would definitely reccommend reading the section in the Cathecism of the Catholic Church on Marriage.

 

[benjoy07]

Brockmac,

Thank you for your reply. Your references state how important and serious marriage should be looked upon, but for the unmarried, it does not say marriage is better than being single. Although there is a passage that says man should not be alone, there are passages that also state marriage is not for everyone. On a related topic, where in the Bible only, does it say if a man wants to “be with” a woman, a man should marry a woman otherwise live in sin? Everything I found requires some interpretation, but nothing explicit. (The Bible is the only source my friend wants information from, so Cathecism is not useful in this situation. But, I could not find more helpful references in the Cathecism for my questions anyway.)

 

[Todd_Easton]

I couldn’t even find a passage saying that premarital sex is not allowed.

In the Mosiac Law, premarital sex is mentioned in Deuteronomy 22:28-29:
If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her; he may not put her away all his days.

In the New Testament the word fornication is used for premarital sex.

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a man; (Matthew 15:19-20)

For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a man." (Mark 7:20-22)

Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)

But fornication and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is fitting among saints. Let there be no filthiness, nor silly talk, nor levity, which are not fitting; but instead let there be thanksgiving. Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure man, or one who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for it is because of these things that the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. (Ephesians 5:3-6)

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.
(Colossians 3:5-6)

 

[benjoy07]

Todd,

Thank you for those references. The OT is clear as day to me. And, interpreting fornication as premarital sex is not a stretch to me either. I hope my friend feels the same way.

 

[Ilroy]

Todd,

Thank you for those references. The OT is clear as day to me. And, interpreting fornication as premarital sex is not a stretch to me either. I hope my friend feels the same way.

If your friend doubts that fornication is premarital sex, just direct him to any dictionary:

for·ni·ca·tion [fawr-ni-key-shuhn]
–noun 1. voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other.

and he might find this little bit of history interesting on the origin of the word, taken from:dictionary.reference.com/browse/fornication

Word History: The word fornication had a lowly beginning suitable to what has long been the low moral status of the act to which it refers. The Latin word fornix, from which fornicātiō, the ancestor of fornication, is derived, meant “a vault, an arch.” The term also referred to a vaulted cellar or similar place where prostitutes plied their trade. This sense of fornix in Late Latin yielded the verb fornicārī, “to commit fornication,” from which is derived fornicātiō, “whoredom, fornication.” Our word is first recorded in Middle English about 1303.

 

[GJx86]

Your references state how important and serious marriage should be looked upon, but for the unmarried, it does not say marriage is better than being single.

Paul discusses this issue in 1 Corinthians 7. He teaches that being single and chaste is better than being married because a single person can focus entirely on the Lord instead of splitting time between the Lord and one’s spouse (vv. 32-35). But he also recognizes that not everyone will be able to maintain an unmarried, chaste lifestyle because of temptation (vv. 1-2, 7), so he teaches that for those who are vulnerable to that temptation, marriage is preferable to sin (vv. 8-9).

You can also tell your friend that marriage is a God-pleasing reality because it mirrors the love that Christ had for the Church, which Paul discusses in Ephesians 5: The marriage covenant reflects the covenant between Christ and the Church. That covenant isn’t the result of a piece of paper; it’s the result of the ceremony of sacramental marriage, in which husband and wife make vows to each other before a priest as a witness.

 

[Evan]

There is an interesting article on marriage in First Things this month (which is not available on the internet till next month).

One of the things (among others) it states is that Marriage supports the love of a man and woman, not the other way around. If you want your love to last, get married.

It is also a commitment, not just to the spouse, but to the families (in-laws) of the union and the offspring. To be together without marriage, eliminates the commitment to anything but each other and my be rescinded at will by either. It is a self-centered relationship. “So long as you please me, I will stay”.

 

[benjoy07]

You can also tell your friend that marriage is a God-pleasing reality because it mirrors the love that Christ had for the Church, which Paul discusses in Ephesians 5.

I like this perspective. Thank you.