Marriage?

[FireEmt37]

I am a Catholic and my girlfriend is Greek Orthodox. Our religion is important to both of us and neither of us wants to convert religions. She has agreed to get married in the Catholic Church but is this going to be possible? If so, what needs to be done by both of us to make this happen? Any advice and direction would be very appreciated. Thank you.

 

[Catholic1954]

You need to make an appointment with your parish priest ASAP to discuss this. Your girlfriend must also agree to allow any children to be brought up as Catholics; she may object to that.

 

[mswood]

You need to make an appointment with your parish priest ASAP to discuss this. Your girlfriend must also agree to allow any children to be brought up as Catholics; she may object to that.

This is incorrect. The OP as a Catholic would have to promise to do everything he could to raise the children as Catholic, his fiancée would be informed of this promise but would not have to promise/agree to anything.

You and your girlfriend should speak with both of your priest. I believe that it may be easier for you to receive permission to marry in her Greek Orthodox Church than for her to receive permission to marry in your Catholic church. So long as you receive dispensation, the Catholic Church would consider your marriage valid.

 

[newlywed8]

Actually, the above poster was more correct, but there is more to it.

The Orthodox will NOT accept a marriage performed outside of an Orthodox church, but Catholics WILL accept a marriage performed in an Orthodox church (I am assuming you would need proper permission from your bishop, but even without it the marriage would be valid because the Orthodox have valid sacraments).

Therefore, if you get married in the catholic church, your fiance will be in an invalid marriage (and barred from communion until repentence and correction, as a Catholic would be in the case of an invalid marriage) but if you get married in the Orthodox church you would both be ok in both church’s eyes

You should really speak to both of your priests to iron out any questions you have.

 

[FireEmt37]

Actually, the above poster was more correct, but there is more to it.

The Orthodox will NOT accept a marriage performed outside of an Orthodox church, but Catholics WILL accept a marriage performed in an Orthodox church.

That is the problem, I dont really want to get married outside of the Catholic Church and she is ok with getting married in the Catholic Church, but I dont think her marriage being invalid will fly with her.

As far as any children go, she has already agreed to raise them Catholic as long as they get the oppurtunity to learn about the Greek Orthodox religion.

 

[mrose1]

Actually, without dispensation from the bishop, the marriage would not be valid in the eyes of the Church; it is not about the Orthodox having “valid sacraments,” because according to the Catholic Church, the husband and wife are the ministers of the Sacrament of Matrimony, not the priest. So that the Eastern Churches have valid orders does not matter. According to Canon Law, marriages must be witnessed by someone expressly delegated by the Local Ordinary (Bishop)

Canon 1108.1 Only those marriages are valid which are contracted in the presence of the local Ordinary or parish priest or of the priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who, in the presence of two witnesses, assists, in accordance however with the rules set out in the following canons, and without prejudice to the exceptions mentioned in cann. 144, 1112.1, 1116 and 1127.2-3.

Canon 1115 Marriages are to be celebrated in the parish in which either of the contracting parties has a domicile or a quasi-domicile or a month’s residence or, if there is question of vagi, in the parish in which they are actually residing. With the permission of the proper Ordinary or the proper parish priest, marriages may be celebrated elsewhere.

Getting married in the Catholic Church, provided you have dispensation from your Bishop for Disparity of Cult (marrying a non-Catholic) WOULD NOT place your fiance in an objectively invalid marriage. Her Church may say her marriage is invalid, but that does not mean they are correct. The Catholic Church is the fullness of the Church, not the Eastern Churches - let’s not place them on the same plane.

 

[srferdave]

This is incorrect. The OP as a Catholic would have to promise to do everything he could to raise the children as Catholic, his fiancée would be informed of this promise but would not have to promise/agree to anything.

Doesn’t his fiancée need to agree to allow him to do everything he can to raise the kids Catholic?

 

[joanofarc2008]

I think this is really a discussion for the priest - again I believe she will need to be married in the Greek Orthodox Church and you will need dispensation to do that. But then again in a few decades we may be one Church anyway. Regardless - please talk to a knowledgeable priest.

 

[puzzleannie]

I am a Catholic and my girlfriend is Greek Orthodox. Our religion is important to both of us and neither of us wants to convert religions. She has agreed to get married in the Catholic Church but is this going to be possible? If so, what needs to be done by both of us to make this happen? Any advice and direction would be very appreciated. Thank you.

it is possible from the Catholic point of view, her Church may be much stricter. This is a special case and you should see your priest as soon as possible to find out what needs to be done and what permissions and dispensations you need. Her priest will almost certainly insist for instance that the exchange of vows happen in their church.

 

[newlywed8]

That is the problem, I dont really want to get married outside of the Catholic Church and she is ok with getting married in the Catholic Church, but I dont think her marriage being invalid will fly with her.

As far as any children go, she has already agreed to raise them Catholic as long as they get the oppurtunity to learn about the Greek Orthodox religion.

First note - in response to idea that the couple is the minister of the sacrament - that is only in the WESTERN Catholic church, we Eastern Catholics have the priest administer the sacrament, and this sacramental worldview is completely acceptable within the Catholic Communion

OP - something to consider - perhaps an Eastern Catholic Church might be a solution. We have the same theology and liturgies of the Orthodox churches, but our churches are in communion with Rome. Although, you would need permission from your priests to get married in such a church unless one of you changes your church sui juris. But, we have the same sacramental view as her and her family would be accustomed, but you would still have communion with Rome. This would also solve problems of raising children, raising htem in the Eastern tradition in communion with Rome. Something to consider.

Orthodox wedding ceremonies are HIGHLY symbolic and beautiful, many of my Latin Catholic family loved my own wedding ceremony, even though aspects were very different from the standard Western wedding. I have never heard of an Orthodox priest accepting a wedding performed outside of an Orthodox church, they don’t grant such dispensations.

 

[mrose1]

First note - in response to idea that the couple is the minister of the sacrament - that is only in the WESTERN Catholic church, we Eastern Catholics have the priest administer the sacrament, and this sacramental worldview is completely acceptable within the Catholic Communion.

Fair enough - please forgive my glossing over this. The mistake was unintentional.

Getting married in an Eastern-Rite Church in union with the Pope stillseems to pose the same problems of her Church not recognizing the marriage, I would think. As other posters have implored, speak with your Pastor a.s.a.p.

 

[mswood]

Doesn’t his fiancée need to agree to allow him to do everything he can to raise the kids Catholic?

She doesn’t have to agree to anything, she would be informed of the promise he made.

I was not yet Catholic when my husband and I went through our marriage prep (though Iw as in RCIA), my husband had to agree to try to raise our children as Catholic and I was informed he made this promise, but I was not asked if I agreed or disagreed with his promise.

 

[newlywed8]

Getting married in an Eastern-Rite Church in union with the Pope stillseems to pose the same problems of her Church not recognizing the marriage, I would think. As other posters have implored, speak with your Pastor a.s.a.p.

You are correct, it would not solve the problem of the Orthodox recognizing the marriage. I was thinking more in line if they wanted to find a church that they both might be comfortable in so they might worshop/raise their family in (but this would take careful study, discernment, ect, it is not a quick fix as the Eastern Catholic churches not Western Catholics with a funny mass) but they might be a way of exploring her spirituality while still in communion, especially for any future children.

 

[5Loaves]

Christ is among us!
Welcome to the CAF.

I am a Catholic and my girlfriend is Greek Orthodox. Our religion is important to both of us and neither of us wants to convert religions. She has agreed to get married in the Catholic Church but is this going to be possible? If so, what needs to be done by both of us to make this happen? Any advice and direction would be very appreciated. Thank you.

Marriage between a Catholic and an Orthodox Christian is a VERY serious question. (Not that all marriage isn’t a very serious question, but others have touched on the difficulties.) I encourage you to post this in the Eastern Catholicism section where Orthodox members of the forum are more likely to notice it, or in the Non-Catholic Religions section where questions related to Orthodox are posted (tho I would expect it could get lost there as have any questions I have posted regarding Orthodox questions) so make the subject line more specific to your situation.

You and your girlfriend should speak with both your pastor and especially with her priest as soon as possible. I would specifically ask her priest if there are any couples in the parish who are a Catholic+Orthodox combination and if so ask if you could speak with them.

Have you gone to Liturgy with her at her Greek Orthodox Church? This would be an excellent time to do so. During Great Lent the Orthodox (and Eastern Catholics) typically have many additional services. I was myself at Great Compline tonight in the Greek Orthodox Cathedral (with 5 other people “in the pews”, plus clergy and cantors), a wonderful part of the services now. After the service they were offering an “Intro to Orthodoxy” session as well. If there is a Melkite Church near you you might consider going and talking with the priest there, or with another Eastern Catholic priest. They are likely to be more familiar with and more realistic about what you are considering than is the priest in a Latin/Roman Catholic Church.
use Find-A-Parish to look for a Melkite or other EC Church near you.