Marriage

[Rabbitthekitten]

I have a question regarding getting married. I’m Catholic and my girlfriend is Serbian Orthodox, it’s not a problem for us to get married is it? Also, I’m considering joining the Lay Dominicans, I don’t know if this complicates things?

Also would I be able to get married in a Dominican priory church, even though my girlfriend is not Catholic. Also, my girlfriend is not particularly religious, but I don’t think she would convert. I don’t think she’d particularly object to getting married in a Catholic Church, but would the priest object to doing it with her not being either Catholic or practising Orthodox?

Thanks for any help.

 

[Christy_Beth]

Talk to her about where she would want to get married. Since she has her part, she should be able to say where she wants to be married. If she agrees to be married in a Catholic church, you may need to talk to your priest. I think that it’s no problem if she agrees to have any children be involved in the Catholic faith. Also, ask her about that. She may surprise you by wanting to ecome catholic. Especially if you lead by example. Get involved with your church. Oh and at the Dominican Priory, ask there as well. They may or may not be more strict about this. See if your girlfriend is willing to go to mass there with you. It might be a good idea to let her see what’s going on and see how important it is for you. Just my opinion.

 

[1ke]

I have a question regarding getting married. I’m Catholic and my girlfriend is Serbian Orthodox, it’s not a problem for us to get married is it?

Well, what do you mean by “problem”?

A Catholic-Orthodox marriage can present a number of problems including that both faiths expect their members to raise their children in that faith. You cannot cut your children in half. You are expected to baptize and raise your children Catholic. She is expected to raise her children Orthodox.

Frankly, it is a very serious issue. I encourage you to talk to your pastor if you are contemplating marriage with an Orthodox girl.

Also, I’m considering joining the Lay Dominicans, I don’t know if this complicates things?

You would have to ask them.

Also would I be able to get married in a Dominican priory church, even though my girlfriend is not Catholic.

An Orthodox cannot marry outide of the Orthodox Church. To do so excommunicates them and the marriage is not considered valid. The norms of ecumenism issued by the Catholic Church direct Catholic pastors to work with Catholic-Orthodox couples for marital preparation but give guidelines that the marriage is to occur in the Orthodox Church for validity.

Also, my girlfriend is not particularly religious, but I don’t think she would convert.

Doesn’t sound like you have talked too much about religion. If religion is important to you, you should be having MANY discussions on faith, practice of the faith, and how you will live your faith life as a married couple before you go ANY farther in contemplating marriage.

Will she be OK with children being raised Catholic? With practice of the Catholic faith in the home? Is she on th same page on moral issues such as contraception? Will she attend the Catholic Church as a family? Will she expect you to attend the Orthodox Church as a family?

Also note that the Catholic Church allows Orthodox to receive sacraments in the Catholic Church, but the Orthodox do not allow their members to do so nor do they allow Catholics to receive them in the Orthodox Church.

If she is not religious at all, that is also problematic. What sort of example will that be for your children?

I don’t think she’d particularly object to getting married in a Catholic Church, but would the priest object to doing it with her not being either Catholic or practising Orthodox?

Well, if she were a non-Catholic Chrisitian who was not Orthodox, then yes. But, since she is Orthodox you should get married in the Orthodox Church (with Catholic marriage preparation) or she could be excommunicated from the Orthodox Church.

I suggest you sit down with your pastor, and if he is not familiar with the Orthodox Church, you need to be in contact with someone from your diocese who is.

I can suggest these documents:

usccbpublishing.org/client/client_pdfs/7-050bi.pdf

old.usccb.org/seia/5-264.pdf

scoba.us/resources/orthodox-catholic-bishops/orthodox-catholic-marriages.html

 

[Rabbitthekitten]

I can see its quite a complicated issue. Thanks for your help, I guess I have some thinking to do.

 

[1ke]

I can see its quite a complicated issue. Thanks for your help, I guess I have some thinking to do.

Well, first talk to her, and secondly talk to your pastor.

Yes, it can be complicated. I briefly dated a Greek Othodox man. We decided very early on that we really liked each other and could see it going somewhere. But, we also knew that he was unwilling to convert from GO and I was unwilling to convert from Catholic, and we were both very active and dedicated to our faith. We decided it was best to stop dating.

If she is not practicing, I think you need to have a conversation with her-- does she believe? Does she want to practice? etc. You sound very active in your faith. Would you be happy with a wife and future mother of your children who did not share your faith or any faith?

 

[Rabbitthekitten]

If she is not practicing, I think you need to have a conversation with her-- does she believe? Does she want to practice? etc. You sound very active in your faith. Would you be happy with a wife and future mother of your children who did not share your faith or any faith?

I’m quite liberal, there are good people of all faiths and of none. Besides, as far as I’m concerned the Orthodox Church is essentially the same religion. Very few differences between us. The Eastern Catholic Churches are accepted in communion with Rome and they are essentially Orthodox Churches. I know it’s a matter of debate and not everyone has the same views, but its my view.

As for her practising her religion, I live in the UK and the Orthodox Church is very much a minority religion and there are no Serbian Orthodox Churches in my area. There is a Greek Orthodox Church in the city but I don’t know if she can go there.

She celebrates Christmas and Easter and not in the secular way most people in this country do. I’ll talk to her, but we’ve not discussed anything to do with marriage yet and I just have find the right way of approaching it. I can’t see myself being with anyone else, I was just seeing what the situation was and how complicated it might be.

 

[1ke]

I’m quite liberal, there are good people of all faiths and of none.

I never said otherwise. What I did say is that you have to assess whether or not you will be happy with a wife that does not practice your faith or her faith, or possibly any faith.

Besides, as far as I’m concerned the Orthodox Church is essentially the same religion. Very few differences between us. The Eastern Catholic Churches are accepted in communion with Rome and they are essentially Orthodox Churches. I know it’s a matter of debate and not everyone has the same views, but its my view.

You might view it that way, but the Orthodox most certainly do not

As for her practising her religion, I live in the UK and the Orthodox Church is very much a minority religion and there are no Serbian Orthodox Churches in my area. There is a Greek Orthodox Church in the city but I don’t know if she can go there.

Yes, she can go to the Greek Orthodox Church. They are in communion with each other, but not with the Catholic Church.

She celebrates Christmas and Easter and not in the secular way most people in this country do. I’ll talk to her, but we’ve not discussed anything to do with marriage yet and I just have find the right way of approaching it. I can’t see myself being with anyone else, I was just seeing what the situation was and how complicated it might be.

Well, you do not have to bring it up in the context of marriage. Just talk about religion with her.

 

[Rabbitthekitten]

Well, you do not have to bring it up in the context of marriage. Just talk about religion with her.

We go on holiday next month. I’ll bring it up then. Thanks for your advice.

 

[90Domer]

Rabbit,

I think before you decide to join any religious order, you need to be honest with yourself and with them about your “liberal” views. From your other thread, it is very clear that you have no problem with SSM, even in you state otherwise. You were pushing pretty hard in favor of it with absolutely no let up when other posters were explaining or quoting the Catechism.

I honestly fear if you lie as a means of joining this order, you will push your agenda from within the RCC.

 

[Rabbitthekitten]

Rabbit,

I think before you decide to join any religious order, you need to be honest with yourself and with them about your “liberal” views. From your other thread, it is very clear that you have no problem with SSM, even in you state otherwise. You were pushing pretty hard in favor of it with absolutely no let up when other posters were explaining or quoting the Catechism.

I honestly fear if you lie as a means of joining this order, you will push your agenda from within the RCC.

Oh please, you still don’t understand my point. Also I think you need to get a grip. No wonder the church is dying in the developed world when anyone who tries to have some kind of theological debate gets shouted down. I don’t have an agenda, don’t be so ridiculous, my only agenda is to try and get people to engage with their faith and think about why things are so.