Marriage

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avamarieTT

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Hello everyone

I am new to this forum. Justed wanted someplace where I can get support and advice. I’m a 36 year old single female and I’ve come to a point where I feel quite lonely and depressed. I do want to start a family and find that special companion to spend the rest of my life with and be a great father to my children. But sadly I just can’t seem to meet the right person. I feel so super depressed about it given my age and I don’t have as much time as I used to.

I would like to hear what novena worked the best and to hear your stories.

Thank you
 
hey! i’m not sure if you’re catholic or not since it doesn’t say in your posting heading. anyways if you are, how involved are you involved at church or your parish community? it could be a good way to meet people woh share the same beliefs. or other hobbies hat you enjoy? sorry, i’m single as well so probably dont’ have the best advice and also not thinking too much about it since i feel God has called me to single life. really have no desire for marriage or family or to religious life. i think i can serve god best from the outside as a single person. anyways, i’ll offer some prayers for you
 
I highly recommend catholic singles.com (assuming you are catholic)

My sister-in-law was in the same situation as you for years. My wife kept asking me if I knew someone for her, but I just didn’t.

Finally, I suggested we give her a gift subscription to catholic singles.com. Within three months she was engaged to a very good Catholic man, and they are now happily married.

I hope and pray you find someone who will make you happy.
 
I would advise trying online dating and putting yourself out there to meet people in the “real world.”

I would also try to stay positive. Use each day to learn something new and to serve the community, because after you’re married you won’t have much time for stuff; your focus will be on your wife and children. Work on making yourself the best person you can be and grow closer to God.
 
First off, don’t think it’s because there is something wrong with you. You aren’t married for the same reason millions of others aren’t: this world has human relationships so messed that few begin, and even fewer are actually healthy, happy bonds. I have one foot in the secular world, in my job, and the other in the Catholic crowd, and I see it on both sides. It’s not you; it’s the world. And it’s not just Catholics who are lonely and depressed; people enter really dysfunctional relationships out of desperation

Second, sit and really think about the purpose of life. We can know theologically that we are here to work out our salvation, and that we’re made to be happy with God, yada, yada. But these words lose their impact when a person feels alone in life and sad. When you feel that depression coming on, bring your thoughts back to the thought that you are intended to find happiness in God, even if that thought is not as appealing as wanting someone to be with right now.

You might get married, you might not. But ultimately, you will be okay either way. And it’s out of your hands; there is really nothing you can do. And there is a relief in really letting it settle in that you cannot control the situation. You have to choose to focus on positive thoughts: you have a world of possibilities open in front of you. You don’t know what God has in store for you. And for sure, your life is not always going to be the way it is right now.

Lastly, do you get out much? Do you have things other than work going on? if not, go do something. Sitting at home alone will only tempt you to dwell on depressive thoughts.

I saw this clip on Dustin Hoffman a while back, and it made me think of all the beautiful women who are in your same position. It reinforces my first point: there is nothing wrong with you!:

youtube.com/watch?v=xPAat-T1uhE
 
Thanks everybody for your responses and prayers. Yes I am Catholic, yes I do get out. Online dating is not really an option as I do not live in North America where the singles sites cater for.

I’m just tired of the dating process and desire to raise and have a family of my own. I also desire companionship of a life partner who will do fun things and enjoy life together. Most of my female friends have moved on and spend time with their husbands/boyfriends/children.

This desire I have is not coming from a place of desperation but I’m just tired of going through the motion of dating and not yet meeting the right man and being able to start a family.
 
avamarieTT said:
I would like to hear what novena worked the best and to hear your stories.
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My wife prayed novenas to Teresa the Little Flower. She says she ended up with a pretty good guy as a result. 🙂 I wish you well!
 
Your vocation awaits you. Maybe it’s not marriage but something else!
 
My question is, if marriage is not my vocation then why I do I have such a desire?

I’ve also come across this book “Finally the Bride: Finding hope while waiting” by Cheryl Mckay in one of the threads in the section entitled “Family” in this forum. I have almost completed reading and my this book is amazing! The writer shares her personal experience as a 30 something christian woman being frustrated with the dating process and not able to meet her future husband yet.

she was brutally honest about the pain and loneliness she felt and I totally related as it is exactly what I’ve felt.

I have also encountered the novena to St. Joseph and Blessed Anna Marie Taigi.It’s not an easy road but I’m trying to keep faith…
 
Pray the Novena to Our Lady who unties knots. It worked for every difficult problem that I have had.
 
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