Marriages hurting from mutual impatience

[FamilyMom2000]

I have witnessed how some couples show impatience towards each other, catholic and non catholics, regular Sunday church goers and even highly educated in the church couples I look up to. For example, correcting each other in a non charitable way in front of other friends and ourselves, rushing each other out of church or events and calling each other names. We did a 4 year study on family life years ago and I remember going over this topic and how we are supposed to praise, respect, love and be patient toward each other. We also went over this at Marriage Encounter. We are on our early forties, we’re a devout couple who learn from & serve our church and of live our sacraments, just to give a little background.
So my main concern starts after vacation, after seeing this impatience happened to myself.
As I hearing the same words of my husband showing impatience towards me and correcting me the same way I saw my dear friend being corrected by her husband.
I thougt, well after 12 years of marriage its not so bad, we improved greatly at the beginning of our relationship thanks to our church’s family & couples programs, but why is this starting to happen now? It hurts to see it happen more and more around me and now to myself.
I will talk to my husband at our next date night but just wanted to get different opinions and advice including biblical help.
God bless!

 

[lisagruen1969]

Gosh, I can’t believe that your post has been up for so long and no one has answered it! My suspicion is that people are so conditioned to treat others this way, that they don’t recognize it as a problem! I’m a family counselor, and am always taken aback at how disrespectful adults speak to each other, as if their spouse is a child! My response to this behavior would be to speak up when someone behaves this way, because if you don’t, they will continue to think that how they disrespect is acceptable. I work really hard on my own children and my friend/family member’s children in this area, so they will grow up to be automatically respectful to everyone. Maybe origins from the 60’s/70’s when everyone let down and relaxed on social norms? the movie “Man without a Face” with Mel Gibson is a good example of adults teaching their youngsters to just chill out and be on the same level as the adults. Poor outcome in adulthood though! I hope this reignites the discussion, because it is important! God’s blessings to you~

 

[minkymurph]

My theory is it’s because we live in a rude, anti-social world and as such, being rude and anti-social is not only acceptable but cool. In addition, one now has to be very assertive to get anywhere when dealing with others. Trying to get a straight answer to a straight question or get anything done is like trying to roll a huge rock up a very high mountain.

In my view one of the reasons for this is technological advances. Everyone has their face stuck in a screen. When you go into a cafe or restaurant people are sitting with their faces stuck in their phone instead of talking to each other.

Then there is ‘me’ism.’ It’s all about me - what I want, where I have to be and no one else matters. People cut each other up on the road. Supermarkets - people block isles to talk and couldn’t care less you can’t get past because of their rear in way. They push past you and another thing I’ve noticed, people no longer walk around each other or move to the side to let others pass. They stand still, look at the floor and wait for you to move out of their way like you have the audacity to be on their planet.

I don’t know if your part of the world is the same, but in my part of the world the ‘f’ word is not only a normal, everyday word, it has to be used between every word in a sentence. In times gone by people used to watch their language in front of children. Now they don’t and you are wrong if you challenge it.

If you have manners today and speak to people kindly, you are viewed as a soft touch that can be walked over. This is the world we live in. Irrespective of how much we hate it we can’t help but be influenced by it.

 

[minkymurph]

I would also say we live in an impatient world. People argue live is so fast and busy today and that makes us impatient which is true. However, it is we who dictate the fast pace of life.

Busy? People were every bit as busy in the past. The difference today is we are busy with ourselves, and often busy doing nothing.

I chill out in a place called Fermanagh. It is in a rural part of Ireland where no one is in a hurry today anything. Cards even come out of cash machines really slowly and when we are waiting at traffic lights, we often have a joke with other non-locals about being on ‘Fermanagh time’ because of how long it takes the lights to change.

People are a lot more laid and consequently, more friendly and have better manners. Although they still make excessive use of the ‘f’ word.

 

[FamilyMom2000]

Thank you all very much! I appreciate your replies and have an idea where to start the conversation.
God bless!