Married 7 years...hoping to become catholic...kind of long

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jem0715

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Hello - I start RCIA in September and something has been bothering me a bit.

My husband I have been married for 7 years, together for 18. We’re high school sweethearts and our marriage is strong. We have one child who is 14. We obviously did things backwards!

I began going to mass in March. Just felt like it would be a great thing for me. I originally planned on going every week throughout Lent and Easter Sunday. Well, I’ve continued to go to Mass. I absolutely love it and I believe I am growing as person because of my relationship with the Lord. I am learning to be open to his gifts and they are plentiful!!

My husband is perfectly fine with me going to Mass, I think he even enjoys hearing what I learned when I get home from on Sundays! But he is not interested and he has no plans on attending with me and he certainly won’t be converting.

How will our marriage be viewed by the church? Will I be allowed to continue on with the RCIA process?

What about our son? He supports my decision, as well. Him and I have had many conversations and I am going to guide his faith, but I will not be pressuring him to join the Catholic church. I feel that I would not be having the experience I am having had I been forced into a religion as a youth.

I know that I can’t go through the rest of my life not being baptised and I truly love the Catholic church and I am really hoping to a part of it. I’m so nervous that because my family is not joining along with me that there will be a problem.
 
jem0715 - My only advice to you is to live the faith everyday and become a radiant, shining example of God’s love so that everyone around you will see Christ in you and will not help but be drawn to him. Invite your husband and son to mass, of course but don’t demand it. As you get closer to God it may be heartbreaking to feel that that the people you love most aren’t getting the same experience. Offer things up for them daily.
Are you familiar with St. Monica - she was in a similar situation as you (though I doubt your husband and son are heathens) and converted her family in a spectacular way. Ask for her prayers.

Praise God for drawing you to his Church.
 
jem0715 said:
How will our marriage be viewed by the church?
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It will be viewed as a marriage.
jem0715 said:
Will I be allowed to continue on with the RCIA process?
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Of course. The “biggest” potential issue would be if you were divorced and remarried, but even in that case, you’d be allowed to complete RCIA and be baptized.
jem0715 said:
What about our son? He supports my decision, as well. Him and I have had many conversations and I am going to guide his faith, but I will not be pressuring him to join the Catholic church. I feel that I would not be having the experience I am having had I been forced into a religion as a youth.
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Your son can go through the initiation process as well, if he wants. But I think you’re doing it right - try to be an example that makes him want to join you.
jem0715 said:
I’m so nervous that because my family is not joining along with me that there will be a problem.
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It’s not a problem.
 
Since you are high school sweethearts (i.e. no previous marriages) there should be no impediment here. Keep inviting him to mass 😃 It took my Godmother/sponsor nearly 30 years of working on him, but her husband eventually went through RCIA too 😃
 
jem0715 said:
Hello - I start RCIA in September and something has been bothering me a bit.

My husband I have been married for 7 years, together for 18. We’re high school sweethearts and our marriage is strong. We have one child who is 14. We obviously did things backwards!

I began going to mass in March. Just felt like it would be a great thing for me. I originally planned on going every week throughout Lent and Easter Sunday. Well, I’ve continued to go to Mass. I absolutely love it and I believe I am growing as person because of my relationship with the Lord. I am learning to be open to his gifts and they are plentiful!!

My husband is perfectly fine with me going to Mass, I think he even enjoys hearing what I learned when I get home from on Sundays! But he is not interested and he has no plans on attending with me and he certainly won’t be converting.

How will our marriage be viewed by the church? Will I be allowed to continue on with the RCIA process?

What about our son? He supports my decision, as well. Him and I have had many conversations and I am going to guide his faith, but I will not be pressuring him to join the Catholic church. I feel that I would not be having the experience I am having had I been forced into a religion as a youth.

I know that I can’t go through the rest of my life not being baptised and I truly love the Catholic church and I am really hoping to a part of it. I’m so nervous that because my family is not joining along with me that there will be a problem.
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Jem,

Congratulations on your newfound faith. I went through RCIA 20 years ago and continue to learn about and grow in love for our Faith and our Church.

I would like to comment on the issue of your son. As the parent of a 14 year old boy, I fully understand the need for careful handling on just about every issue. That said, as a parent, there can be no bigger obligation than to ensure your own son’s salvation. “Pressuring” is a loaded term. As a child, it is our obligation to teach our children the truth and we sometimes have to “pressure” them to do things they don’t want to do for their own good. Clearly you don’t want to turn him against the Church and make attending Mass a point of conflict, but likewise I would strongly recommend against the popular notion of “letting them make up their own mind.” There is a right and wrong answer there. Is your spouse supportive in that regard?

Good luck.
 
Hi Jem, and welcome!

I was just received into the Church this past Easter–a brand new convert 🙂

My husband, whom I married before my conversion, is not Christian, nor does he ever plan to be. Still, our marriage is considered a valid one by the Church.

He has always supported me along my journey, and even though he was nervous and intimidated by the prospect of being in a church, he was right by my side for my Confirmation.

It can feel scary converting “alone,” but as my wonderful priest reminded me, my husband was supporting me in my faith journey the best way he could and in that sense we were going through the process together.

If you ever want to PM me at any time along your journey, please do. I’m always happy to talk.

*Stella
 
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