Married and mastrabating, is this wrong?

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Joya said:
I agree that masturbation, although difficult, should be avoided. But if the above statement is true, then why didn’t God eliminate the orgasm from sex?
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For the same reason that he gave us taste buds - we need to eat and he allows us to enjoy food in order to encourage us to eat.

We need to procreate and he allows us to have orgasm to encourage us to be fruitful and multiply.

Think about the mechanics of both eating and of sex, would we choose to do either if there were no pleasure in it?
 
From Christopher West’s “The Good News About Sex and Marriage”

“If one who struggles with masturbation is ever to enter marriage lovingly and fruitfully, it’s utterly essentail that he or she overcome this habit through perserverence, prayer, the sacraments, God’s grace and perhaps the guidance of a good spiritual director. Why? If one’s sexual impulse is conditioned by self-indulgence rather than self-giving, and if the pleasure of orgasm is divorced in one’s mind from the risk of loving an “other” and the responsibility of fertility, then standing at an altar and pronouncing vows will do little if anything to undo that condition.
A man who’s trained by a habit of masturbation, for example, will simply transfer his self-indulgent impulse onto his wife. He’ll have sex with a fantasy rather than with the real woman that he married. Is that love? Can that ever be an expression of the marriage bond and a renewal of wedding vows?
Psychologists who promote masturbation, and those who accept their advice, have been duped. Let’s cry out to God for the grace to pierce through our fears, our anxieties, our inner frustrations. Let’s endure the pain of allowing God to reverse our inversions.
Only then will we know the tru joy and satisfaction we’re looking for. It is not self-satisfaction. It’s the satisfaction of sacrificing all in the risk of love. It’s the satisfaction of holding out for th real thing – the encounter with an “other” that’s meant to prepare us for the ultimate encounter with the Ultimate Other: God.”

(page 80)
 
This is from Chasity.com, the Q and As section, in case anyone would like to know…

this is about breaking the habit of mastrabating and pronography:
Spend an increased amount of time in personal prayer as well, and speak openly to Jesus about your struggles. Also pray the Hail Mary three times each day for purity of mind, body, and heart; frequent the sacrament of reconciliation; read Scripture; pray the rosary; make the stations of the cross; and develop a devotion to Saint Joseph.Just so you know, there was more but this is the “important” stuff i got out of it.

Also, I put pictures of Jesus, the Blessed Mother and St. Michael by my computer. Last night i was struggling, but I could bring myself to move the images of the ones i care about to commit a wrong, so i went to bed and read the Bible and kept my mind focused on God or sleep until sleep came.

tonight i will read from a different site.
 
Flannelfunk said:
This is from Chasity.com, the Q and As section, in case anyone would like to know…

this is about breaking the habit of mastrabating and pronography:
Spend an increased amount of time in personal prayer as well, and speak openly to Jesus about your struggles. Also pray the Hail Mary three times each day for purity of mind, body, and heart; frequent the sacrament of reconciliation; read Scripture; pray the rosary; make the stations of the cross; and develop a devotion to Saint Joseph.Just so you know, there was more but this is the “important” stuff i got out of it.

Also, I put pictures of Jesus, the Blessed Mother and St. Michael by my computer. Last night i was struggling, but I could bring myself to move the images of the ones i care about to commit a wrong, so i went to bed and read the Bible and kept my mind focused on God or sleep until sleep came.

tonight i will read from a different site.
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The longest journey still begins with a single step. This is a great step in the right direction. I will continue my prayers for you. Perserverence, my friend.
 
Flannelfunk said:
Hello,

I am married, happily, and i have been mastrabating for probably over 10 years. I am 24, married 3 years been with my wife 5 in total. We just had a baby and we do not have sex often at all. Question is: Is it wrong to mastrabate? If i do not do it every 3 days or so my behavior changes and i cant not sleep. I do look at porn for stimulation. I do not look at the woman and remember them or even think about them sexually, i simple watch and… you know.
I only have eyes for my wife but need the extra stimulation to make it quick. I want to have intercourse with my wife but it just doesnt happen more then a handful of times every couple of months. She doesnt notice the time spand or help me out unless i am at the point of no return.
I am not Catholic yet, but am doing the classes and want to become one. I want to follow all of the rules, but i am having a hard time understanding this one. If i dont do this i do notice other woman, if i do do it i am still sinning? Help please and lets try to be mature and not have any condesending posts. thank you to all who are reading.
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Seeing as I got to this one late, I’m going to give you a simple answer.

The Church teaches that masturbation is wrong. What makes it even more wrong in your case is that you are watching pornography. So we got three forms of lust going on here: masturbation, pornography, and infidelity. Now, your wife might not care that you wank regularly, but since you are engaging in a sexual act with someone other than your wife, then it would be considered “cheating.”

If your wife isn’t being intimate and seems uncaring, there might be a bigger issue than masturbation going on in the picture. Seeing as you were around 21 when you got married, I’d hope you didn’t rush into anything. I would talk to her about this if I were you, but then again, I’m only 19 and haven’t dated much.

And believe me, I know what it feels like to be addicted to masturbation. Like you, I once needed the chemicals from the release to put me to sleep. I’ve gotten better. It takes time, patience, but more importantly, God.

I hope all goes well on your path to Catholicism. Remember, the bad times seem so small compared to the good times.

-Buildingwings
 
The thread asks if Married and mastrabating, is this wong? Yes, it is wrong.

lyolee.
 
whm said:
Can’t give medical advice, but I would not trust your Urologist on this. See a Catholic Urologist in your area. You can ask your current doctor, if there any around trust me he/she would know (same goes for OB/GYN). If you can’t find a Catholic Urology, at least see an older Urologist who was trained before the current cultural insanity. There are other ways to deal with excess testosterone that don’t involve sinful activities.
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The thing to remember is that just because something is morally wrong does not mean that it does not have a medical value. For example, if the Pope decided that Aspirin was contrary to divine law and outlawed Catholics from using it, it would not mean that Aspirin did not cure head aches, only that Catholics could not use it to cure their head aches.

Similarly, although masturbation may prevent prostrate cancer, it does not mean that it is morally acceptable to do so.

And “Catholic” doctors aren’t always so Catholic if you will. For example, my doctor, a Catholic, suggested the use of condoms to protect against STDs. Also, I’ve been to a Catholic hospital once and did not receive the most Christ-like treatment from the medical staff there. Maybe his experience will be different.

My question is this: Assuming, masturbating can prevent cancer, would it be better to masturbate, not suffer from cancer, and commit a sin or not masturbate, suffer physically, emotionally, and economically, all to have one less sin on our record?

And of course, I’m am asking for the response a practicing Catholic would give.
 
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