Married at Singles Dance

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Magickman

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I am a single guy, and I like to dance. Not all the time, but once or twice a month, I enjoy going out to a singles dance party, with a live band.

So that is what I did, last night.

At the party, a woman named Sue asked me to dance, and I agreed. We danced, both fast and slow, for a number of tunes, and then sat down to relax.

I should note that the nearly all the folks at these events just love to dance, and that the parties are also a hotbed for romance.

Sue was a great dancer, and had a very pleasant personality. I was considering asking her for a date.

Then, the hammer fell.

In conversation, Sue admitted to being married, and she said her non-dancing husband approves of her going out alone, to drink, and to dance with (strange) men.

I will admit to being slightly taken aback by the turn of events.

Assuming that Sue was telling the truth, she was out playing the field, while her husband was back at home.

What do the rest of you think, about a married woman going to singles dances and socializing as if she were single, herself?

Would you want your spouse doing this?
 
I would not have the heart to forbid it - apart from the fact I do not forbid anything to anyone unless there’s a strict military-like chain of command anyway - and I do not want to judge it, but I can tell you I’d be sad. Note that people don’t take some things the way you do. The woman could have more imagination than going to a singles bar where all men are looking for romance, but perhaps she isn’t seeing it as any form of flirtation nor does it give her any more than simply satisfaction from dancing. Please not that you were assuming she was free game. You may have developed some form of attraction to thing. That could make you perceive her behaviour as more inviting than it was. Give her the benefit of doubt and realise it was more of an exception than a rule. 😉
 
Totally inappropriate and bad. I second the “never fly” thing. My wife would never want to, nor would I let her.
 
I think it’s very unwise (and not very classy either) for a married woman, to hang out at a ‘singles’ event, dancing the night away with single men. I can’t presume to know her intentions, but at the very least, her behavior is unwise…and puts her (and single men) into potentially compromising situations.

Word of advice too–don’t believe everything a married person conveys about his/her spouse–“my husband allows me to go out drinking and dancing with single men.”

Possible, but I don’t completely believe that. Unless they have an arrangement, and either way–the situation is weird at best. lol

Again–not sure of her intentions, but dancing ‘slow’ dances with single men (strangers), is not something a happily married woman does.

Just my two cents.
 
Just curious–was she wearing her wedding ring? I would imagine not, as you wouldn’t have been stunned by her ‘confession.’

RED FLAG.

Some men don’t wear their wedding rings. Some women don’t either…but typically, women wear their wedding rings…at least their bands. If she was at a singles event with no wedding ring on…RED FLAG ALERT.

If you see her again, I’d be polite…but say ‘no thanks’ to dancing with her. I’m sure you will–just saying!😃

Sorry things turned out that way. In rereading this thread…I felt bad because it seemed like you liked her.😦 See? Her behavior was misleading. Hope you find someone truly single at one of these events–God bless!
 
Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater
When the wife gets home
The husband will beat her

Old song about cheating 😉
 
It’s funny how many kids nursery rhymes are totally inappropriate. Has anyone even read some of those mother goose tales about incest and cannibalism?!!!?!
 
whatevergirl said:
I think it’s very unwise (and not very classy either) for a married woman, to hang out at a ‘singles’ event, dancing the night away with single men. I can’t presume to know her intentions, but at the very least, her behavior is unwise…and puts her (and single men) into potentially compromising situations.

Word of advice too–don’t believe everything a married person conveys about his/her spouse–“my husband allows me to go out drinking and dancing with single men.”

Possible, but I don’t completely believe that. Unless they have an arrangement, and either way–the situation is weird at best. lol

Again–not sure of her intentions, but dancing ‘slow’ dances with single men (strangers), is not something a happily married woman does.

Just my two cents.
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Good post, whatevergirl (hey, how have you been?)

This woman has poor character. When she told you she was married, you should have told her that her presence is deceiving to all men in attendance. And you could have simply gotten up from your seats/table with her and politely dismissed yourself.
 
I personally would never do it (if I was married of course :rolleyes: )

And if my husband wanted to do that, I’d be terribly sad to be honest, it seems unproper for a married person to be doing that, that’s just my heart telling me that, I respect other people’s relationships… If it works for them… Oh well… 🤷
 
Joya said:
Good post, whatevergirl (hey, how have you been?)

This woman has poor character. When she told you she was married, you should have told her that her presence is deceiving to all men in attendance. And you could have simply gotten up from your seats/table with her and politely dismissed yourself.
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HEEEEYYYYY JOYA!!! What in the world? You have been missing in action…I am so happy to see you.:hug1:

Back to the thread–yes, she has poor character…and I don’t completely believe what married people tell single people…‘my husband allows me to do this.’ Right. Then, that’s a whole other weird situation, altogether, too!😦
 
BamaRider said:
It ain’t gonna fly in my house.
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Mine neither, Bama, but I’m just too much of an arrogant prick to forbid that. I generally won’t order or prohibit anything which is good or bad by right unless someone’s in my charge and liable to harm others.
 
chevalier said:
Mine neither, Bama, but I’m just too much of an arrogant prick to forbid that. I generally won’t order or prohibit anything which is good or bad by right unless someone’s in my charge and liable to harm others.
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It can harm your marriage though, if you are the spouse. If a couple has children, what example does it set for them? And we are to help our spouses be the best they can be…it really isn’t about ego, and forbidding because we say so…it’s about helping our spouses get to heaven. Married women or men dancing the night away…with singles of the opposite sex, isn’t really going to help anyone. And in this case–it misleads the single person.

Unless the person teaches dance lessons, I don’t see how it can edify a marriage. So, it’s not about demanding one to not go to the dance, as much as it is about not permitting one to engage in a near occasion of sin.

If I knew my husband had a coke habit, for example…would I just say…ok, honey…do whatever you like. Not for me to tell you no.

Same holds true here. I can’t help but think a married woman dancing with single men, isn’t a cry for help in her own way. A husband that is willing to let her go or not–is immaterial, as much as the wife’s desire to hang around single men.

My dh and I have separate social lives and collective ones…but, I think it would degrade our marriage, if we went slow dancing with singles of the opposite sex. (or the same sex!:eek: 😃 )

I know what you are saying, but it’s not about forbidding someone out of ego, although, that might come into play–it’s about helping someone to only do things that are edifying for the marriage.

WHEN you marry someday…you will see that your role as your wife’s husband, will be to help her be her best. Her role to help you become your best. And to serve as helpers when we see the other wishing to tamper with tempation.
 
That so would not fly in either direction at our house.:tsktsk: Dh and I feel very firmly about the behavior of a married person and where they do and don’t belong. Anywhere that is for “singles” is absolutely out. It is our opinion and we certainly don’t push it on anyone but if they would ask, we would tell them.
 
whatevergirl said:
It can harm your marriage though, if you are the spouse. If a couple has children, what example does it set for them? And we are to help our spouses be the best they can be…it really isn’t about ego, and forbidding because we say so…it’s about helping our spouses get to heaven. Married women or men dancing the night away…with singles of the opposite sex, isn’t really going to help anyone. And in this case–it misleads the single person.
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Yes, but what do I do? Claim authority to oblige the person in his conscience the way parents do? I voice my disapproval and take consequences out of the choice, but the choice is not mine.
Unless the person teaches dance lessons, I don’t see how it can edify a marriage.
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Neither can I. I’d just see it as a concession to some old habits.
So, it’s not about demanding one to not go to the dance, as much as it is about not permitting one to engage in a near occasion of sin.
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Doubt we have the authority. We don’t really have the authority to make such commands and likely we don’t have it at all.

Same holds true here. I can’t help but think a married woman dancing with single men, isn’t a cry for help in her own way. A husband that is willing to let her go or not–is immaterial, as much as the wife’s desire to hang around single men.

It’s more about the dancing than about the single men, I’m sure. Some people like dancing so much they can’t give it up.
My dh and I have separate social lives and collective ones…but, I think it would degrade our marriage, if we went slow dancing with singles of the opposite sex. (or the same sex!:eek: 😃 )
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Of course.
I know what you are saying, but it’s not about forbidding someone out of ego, although, that might come into play–it’s about helping someone to only do things that are edifying for the marriage.
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It’s more like an ego thing in not forbidding, actually. Hehe. Hard to explain. I just prefer to make conclusions of people’s behaviour than to issue commands.
WHEN you marry someday…you will see that your role as your wife’s husband, will be to help her be her best. Her role to help you become your best. And to serve as helpers when we see the other wishing to tamper with tempation.
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Parents tell children not to go. Not really sure husbands do the same to wives.
 
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