S
Sheila4pd
Guest
This is going to be a long post, but this is something that is bothering me so much I want to know what to do:
I married by the Church in love and aware that I was making a promise before God. My (ex) husband and I had communication and affection problems from the beginning and this caused many fights. Four years later we had a beautiful son, and things improved perhaps because being a mother was a true blessing that nothing else mattered.
As my son grew I was sad to see how my ex would use physical punishment in an excessive and unfair manner. I had to lock my son in his room to prevent my ex access to him. It was very scary. My ex would call him stupid, good for nothign and a household expense.
During this time, our intimate and personal relationships were not that good either. I went to counsellors, I joined the Christian Family Movement, and I tried many times to communicate. I felt like I was just another piece of furniture. We did not have sex the last 6 years of our marriage.
As my son grew, the punishments grew worse. I had to hide my son’s bad grades or his misbehavior to prevent excessive physical and psychological punishment but this was not good either because a child has to receive some discipline otherwise he can go wild.
Both my son and I became grey and sad people. My son started talking about leaving home at age 11. He felt that all our fights were his fault.
Meanwhile at night I started chatting online searching for friendship, company, thinking it was just a harmless hobby. I made a friend who was understanding and caring and would be my son’s friend, they would also chat for hours about games, and sports. Him and I fell in love.
We met in secret a couple of times, then I decided to divorce my ex.
One year after the divorce my bf moved in with my son and I. My bf became the father and friend my son never had.
I do not know what to do, I do not like living in sin. I am still married by the Church to my ex. I do not feel worthy of going to Church or take the Holy Communion, I feel horrible because I used to be a practicing Catholic.
Please advise.
I married by the Church in love and aware that I was making a promise before God. My (ex) husband and I had communication and affection problems from the beginning and this caused many fights. Four years later we had a beautiful son, and things improved perhaps because being a mother was a true blessing that nothing else mattered.
As my son grew I was sad to see how my ex would use physical punishment in an excessive and unfair manner. I had to lock my son in his room to prevent my ex access to him. It was very scary. My ex would call him stupid, good for nothign and a household expense.
During this time, our intimate and personal relationships were not that good either. I went to counsellors, I joined the Christian Family Movement, and I tried many times to communicate. I felt like I was just another piece of furniture. We did not have sex the last 6 years of our marriage.
As my son grew, the punishments grew worse. I had to hide my son’s bad grades or his misbehavior to prevent excessive physical and psychological punishment but this was not good either because a child has to receive some discipline otherwise he can go wild.
Both my son and I became grey and sad people. My son started talking about leaving home at age 11. He felt that all our fights were his fault.
Meanwhile at night I started chatting online searching for friendship, company, thinking it was just a harmless hobby. I made a friend who was understanding and caring and would be my son’s friend, they would also chat for hours about games, and sports. Him and I fell in love.
We met in secret a couple of times, then I decided to divorce my ex.
One year after the divorce my bf moved in with my son and I. My bf became the father and friend my son never had.
I do not know what to do, I do not like living in sin. I am still married by the Church to my ex. I do not feel worthy of going to Church or take the Holy Communion, I feel horrible because I used to be a practicing Catholic.
Please advise.