Married couples and prayer

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This is a topic that DH and I have been avoiding for a long time. We don’t pray together and I think our marriage is really lacking because of it. I guess I’ve been waiting for DH to initiate it since he is the “head of the house” but he hasn’t expressed interest. I think both he and I see prayer as a private thing and we would feel silly praying with each other. We really need to get over it because praying privately all the time won’t help our son with his prayer life. We barely eat together as a family (maybe once a week, twice at the most), but when we do we say grace before hand. DH would rather just make himself dinner and eat it right away than sitting down as a family. I think he is still stuck in the single life when it comes to meals. (I am guilty of this, too!)

We both went to confession back in December and our priest gave us a penance to pray 2 decades of the rosary together. I am so ashamed to say that we still have not done it! We have said many times since then that we need to do it but we let things get in the way.

What are some ways for us to get started praying together? How do you and your spouse pray with each other? How and what age do you get the kids involved?
 
The Rosary is the best way I think because it is psychologically a group prayer; something you’re used to praying with other people. My wife and I sometimes pray Compline together in the evenings, in bed, before we go to sleep. Once you get used to this, you can start to pray together more freely I think!
 
Last year, we started praying together every night as a family and I can’t put into words what it has done for us! It has brought us so much closer. Some nights we say the rosary, the girls love taking turns saying a decade. Then other nights we say the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, again with one of the kids leading us.
We try to do a Bible reading as well, then we all kneel in front of the couch and take turns asking God to bless someone, we then say the Our Father, Hail Mary and the Glory Be. We close by thanking God for someone or something special that happened that day. We get a lot of " I’m thankful for our prayer time" not only from the kids, but from my husband and I as well.
We started off small, one decade of the rosary a night, but we all enjoyed it so much, that it has grown!
My first suggestion, is to start eating dinner together! We have so much fun at the dinner table, laughing and sharing what happened that day. Then before bed time for your son, sit down and read a Bible story to him. I know he’s little, but our kids always have loved to be read to. Get some plastic rosarys so he can have one to hold while you say a decade. Some nights our 2 year old sits very nicely while we pray, other nights, not so much. But he always asks God to bless someone, usually my cousin Stephen as he is Iraq right now and is mentioned a lot during prayer time, plus he has a cool dog that our little guy just loves;) and he always says he is thankful something too, usually a toy, but he’s learning that he should be thankful for these things.
As a couple, look for prayer books or Bible studies you can do together. If your husband is involved in the research of it, he might be more interested in doing it. It might be that he doesn’t feel comfortable praying in front of someone, it is a hard thing to get over, but once you start, it gets much easier.
 
Start small - and the PERFECT time to begin is Lent 🙂

Gus Lloyd, a Catholic radio host, gave a challange to couples last year. Pray together for one minute every morning before you leave the house.

One Our Father, one Hail Mary, one Glory Be. That is it - one minute, just before you leave in the morning, stop and pray.

Full rosaries, home bible studies, those may follow - just, start small.

I also really really really suggest reading Fr. Dubay’s books on prayer.
 
These are such great suggestions! Thanks so much everyone! Keep 'em coming. 🙂
 
I agree that lent is the perfect excuse to introduce a practice in order to continue it for the rest of life.

I would say that having all at the table for dinner is of the utmost importance. I don’t think that you’ll grow in prayer together without growing together around the table.

The next step is saying grace at least before meals, at home or not, at a restaurant or at someone else’s home. Once this becomes a custom, a welcome custom, then perhaps prayers together on Sundays could be introduced. From then on, I think that anything can be built on such foundations.

However, it’s important to move slowly and gently. Look at the long term, even only one of these suggestions per Lent, one year after the other. Give the chance to each family member to grow used to each new practice over the period of a year.

With grace, heaven is the limit.

:blessyou:
 
My wife and I have started getting up 45 minutes early so that we can pray in the mornings. We typically read a chapter of scripture together, and then pray separately for a while. We also have a prayer list (for family members, friends, current events) that we pray together on Sundays. Its been working pretty well, but I do struggle with staying awake in the mornings! I find that it’s really great to pray near each other even if we aren’t praying with each other. I mean, even if we are praying separately, it helps if we do it at the same time of day in the same room. It’s encouraging, and it helps keep us accountable.

-mike
 
Lent is a great time, I agree. Also, there are various prayers suggested by Fr. Altier in his marriage class. See the section on Spirituality.

I tried skipping around on these things but it doesn’t give the full effect unless you start at the beginning. So if you are interested in everything, this is many hours of MP3. BTW it’s all FREE! This guy IS an inspiration!

My wife and I don’t do this yet, too much. We do say prayers as a family when times get tough. I noticed that my kids haven’t memorized all the prayers and mysteries of the Rosary, so I’m thinking this Lent, we’ll be getting lots of practice.
 
I think the key is to start small and add prayer to another family ritual that you have.

We’re still working on our prayer life together, but what has helped is praying as we discuss our days on the drive home. Even if things weren’t that great we try to think of one good thing to say thank you for. I know it’s really a small step but it’s made us more comfortable toward praying and helped us be more positive!
 
Howdy!

I found this thread in a search, and I just want to chime in.

My husband and I pray the rosary together, in bed, before going to sleep. He leads. After, we take turns nightly praying extemporaneously.

We started this over 13 years ago, when I was pregnant with our youngest. We continued during hard times, surgeries, cancer, even when we were darned angry with each other.

Our marriage has survived many trials. Praying together gives us a deeper sense of belonging to God and each other.

Faithfulness has rewards! 👍
 
StratusRose said:
This is a topic that DH and I have been avoiding for a long time. We don’t pray together and I think our marriage is really lacking because of it. I guess I’ve been waiting for DH to initiate it since he is the “head of the house” but he hasn’t expressed interest. I think both he and I see prayer as a private thing and we would feel silly praying with each other. We really need to get over it because praying privately all the time won’t help our son with his prayer life. We barely eat together as a family (maybe once a week, twice at the most), but when we do we say grace before hand. DH would rather just make himself dinner and eat it right away than sitting down as a family. I think he is still stuck in the single life when it comes to meals. (I am guilty of this, too!)

We both went to confession back in December and our priest gave us a penance to pray 2 decades of the rosary together. I am so ashamed to say that we still have not done it! We have said many times since then that we need to do it but we let things get in the way.

What are some ways for us to get started praying together? How do you and your spouse pray with each other? How and what age do you get the kids involved?
Click to expand...
Hi StratusRose - you can hardly do any better than to do a Family Consecration together - here’s how : familyland.be/family_consecration/introduction-to-consecration-to-the-holy-family.html

We did this, and it transformed our prayer life, and more; we renew it annually - take a look. Our kids join us for the rosary part - there’s nothing like hearing a 3-year old lead one decade of the rosary . . . !👍
 
We both went to confession back in December and our priest gave us a penance to pray 2 decades of the rosary together. I am so ashamed to say that we still have not done it! We have said many times since then that we need to do it but we let things get in the way.
Click to expand...
This kept me up for a while last night.
I do hope you’ve fulfilled this penance, as neglecting to do so renders the sacrament incomplete.

Perhaps you could search Catholic.com for insight on this, or talk to your priest?
 
Begin together in the morning. Me and my wife pray together just before she leaves to work at 4:00 am. It usually takes about 10 minutes. We begin with thanks, then mostly petitions for loved ones, each other, and the needs of our family unit, we close with 1 our father and 1 hail mary and asking out patron saints, angels, and mother mary to pray for us.

Been doing it like that for a few years now. Set the day on the right path.
 
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