Married couples, how do you handle money?

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HerCrazierHalf

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If you are married or previously married, how do you handle money between the two of you?

Did you pick your strategy to avoid future issues?

Also, when you a creditor ask you to update your annual income, do you typically use your individual income or your combined?
 
HerCrazierHalf said:
If you are married or previously married, how do you handle money between the two of you?
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Since the two of us were fairly established in life with our own houses and various finances before we met, we mainly have our individual accounts plus a joint for shared things.
Did you pick your strategy to avoid future issues?
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In large part, yes. I’ve heard that money is a huge issue for some couples. I know myself and realized that each of us having a separate bucket of cash works better because it avoids the possibility of me getting criticizing purchases of hers I don’t agree with (within reasonable limits) and neither of us have to explain why we bought something (within reason).
Also, when you a creditor ask you to update your annual income, do you typically use your individual income or your combined?
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I’m still trying to figure this part out. I’m not comfortable with the idea that both of us are on the hook for our individual debts therefore I dislike using household income as a basis for credit unless the form specifically request it. I understand that technically we are both on the hook but I’m not ready to truly accept that in most cases.
 
Dual income into a single pot. Before marriage, our agreement was that any non-bill expenditures over $100 need to be cleared by both parties. In practice, we generally clear anything over $50 with each other or at least mention it in advance. The exception being big presents which aren’t all that common.

This works for us because neither is a diehard saver (so we won’t veto everything) but we both think hard about any purchase we would have to take to the other person.
 
Formerly dual/multiple income, though my husband has almost always made much more than me (excepting when we were first married.) Now he brings in almost all (I make a tiny bit here and there, but it’s more hobby than job.)

Everything goes into one pot. We do a zero based budget every month so we know where every dollar goes. I know more of the ins and outs, but check with him - “hey, we have x in the home improvement budget and this thing we’ve talked about getting went on sale.” We also get a set amount every month that we can spend on whatever we want that’s legal and moral, no bugging from spouse.
 
I put “other” because while I make a little money from time to time, it’s not a real dual income at this point.

It’s all joint and budgeted monthly, with a small amount of fun money for each spouse.
 
Xantippe said:
I put “other” because while I make a little money from time to time, it’s not a real dual income at this point.

It’s all joint and budgeted monthly, with a small amount of fun money for each spouse.
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That’s where we are, but I called it single income.

In theory, all our money is our money, all of our time is our time, all our work is our work.

In practice, we married someone with similar views on what is and is not a good use of money, and we’re as non-controlling as possible about it. We communicate alot about money, but it is mostly “what do you think?” and “FYI.” I couldn’t say who gives in the most, because we try not to keep score. I think he gives in on design things more often, because our kids vote with me more often. That, and he’s a prince. I give in on the food palate, because again, there are things they don’t want me to make them try, so I give in on that.
 
HerCrazierHalf said:
If you are married or previously married, how do you handle money between the two of you?

Did you pick your strategy to avoid future issues?

Also, when you a creditor ask you to update your annual income, do you typically use your individual income or your combined?
Click to expand...
  1. It’s “our” money as far as all the money goes into one pot. However we do have two checking accounts - “mine” and “his”. They are both in both of our names but allow us to not have to worry about accidentally seeing a birthday/Christmas present or accidentally overdraw the account since under normal circumstances we each only use the debit card associated with “our” account. The accounts are also at separate banks so that if one bank / one account gets messed up (bank changes rules, problem with account, identity theft) then the other account is still up and available for use.
Also, even though they are separate, except during holidays / birthday times, we both balance both books - he does it on paper, I do it on the computer. Not because of trust issues, but just because that’s what makes sense to each of us. We may not always know exactly how much is in each account, but we know the general amount and in general what is being spent since we both balance both of them.

Also, we do take out an agreed upon amount of cash each week for spending and that’s our own individual spending money that we can use without consulting the budget or the spouse on how we use it 🙂
  1. Our strategy evolved over the years and is based mainly on mutual respect, the knowledge that I’m better “online” so I pay the bills that way, however I’m not the most organized. Having him keep the books balanced in the actual checkbook keeps him “in the know” and allows him to discuss/question/remind me of things I may have missed. Having had some bad experiences over the years, we discovered having two separate accounts gives us peace of mind for not having all our funds in one (hackable) basket.
  2. Annual income is always our combined income - never occurred to me to think of it otherwise - however, it’s been over a decade since we applied for any line of credit. 🤷
 
HerCrazierHalf said:
If you are married or previously married, how do you handle money between the two of you?

Did you pick your strategy to avoid future issues?

Also, when you a creditor ask you to update your annual income, do you typically use your individual income or your combined?
Click to expand...
We are separate, but equal; we both have income, we divide the expenses between us but except for one, all accounts are joint. We file taxes jointly and report combined incomes, if anyone asks. This strategy has evolved over the past 40 years, it works for us! :twocents:
 
We have accounts that are yours, mine, and ours. We have dual incomes, and we both contribute to the household bills, but also are responsible for our own credit cards and retirement funds.
 
My husband and I each have an income that is about equal. Our pay goes into three separate accounts, which we both have access to, but which we keep divided for the purpose of easier management. My salary goes into the “bills” account, which I manage, and that money goes toward our monthly occurring expenses. My husband’s salary goes in to the “expenses” account which we use for expenses. He is more or less in charge of managing that one and lets me know if we are getting too low and I always check with him before buying something excessive, so we don’t run over. We set it up that way so we dont’ every accidentally spend the electric bill. Even if we get down to zero in our expense account, we just have to wait a week or so until he’s paid again. We don’t have to worry about not paying our bills. We also have a savings account, and $200 comes from each of our salaries each month and goes into that account. Once the money goes in, we try not to mess with it.
 
My wife makes significantly more than me, but that wasn’t always the case. We share the same account for income and daily purchases but have separate savings accounts. We also have separate credit card accounts.

Any major purchase or a joint purchase is always discussed beforehand. We are both vehemently against any form of debt and we will create an action plan or a budget together to pay off debt immediately.

Credit culture is also different in The Netherlands than in North America. You can’t rack up credit cards and there are no point systems. Whatever you have on a credit card will be automatically debited from your bank account at the end of the month. One would have to apply for a loan at a bank for any major purchase. I think this system, rather this mentality is a healthy approach to living within your means and avoiding any financial troubles.
 
My wife and I have always had dual incomes, roughly the same. For the first three years of our marriage we used separate accounts. We switched to a joint account a year ago. I wasn’t sure how well it would work, but now I wouldn’t go back.
 
Everything is joint (well, except 401k as those are unable to be joint, but we’re both 100% beneficiary on each others). I do have a separate account for my business as I’m a single-member LLC but all income after business expenses/taxes goes directly into a joint account.

We run a zero-based budget through YNAB. I am the primary accountant for our household, but all money decisions are joint. We have always maintained joint finances since we married. We’ve both had turns as the major breadwinner and it would never work for us to have our finances separate.
 
My wife and I both work. Our kids are grown. We have long each dealt with our own earnings. There are some legal problems with joint debts, so we have none.

For some people it’s different, but for my wife and me, each one’s management fits his/her proclivities and interests. My wife pays for most “consumption” items, most of which are hers anyway. I don’t much like shopping or buying anything like she does, and only do so when I absolutely have no choice, like a car or my own clothing. I’m the “investor” of the family and the “business” person; something in which my wife has zero interest. I make all payments to things like utilities, debts, insurance, etc. If I buy stock or real estate or cattle, my wife isn’t really interested. She figures I do what I do so she’ll be secure in her old age, and she’s right about that.

Odd as that might seem to some, it works for us.
 
I’ve been a stay at home mom, raising six children. They are all adults. Now that we have extra cash, I get an amount large enough for household bills, plus extra that I can use as I want. That way there is no criticism as to how I spend it. Works out great!
 
Dual income, but all in one pot, as others have said. I work part time from home while taking care of our kids, and my husband works full time outside of the home. In the past, my husband had problems with impulse buying and credit cards, but I am very frugal, so 6 years ago everything was turned over to me. Most of our money goes towards kids and bills, with some saving. We discuss any major purchases, but basically I am the one who does most of the shopping and bill paying, even though my husband makes more money than I do.
 
I’ve been married for 30 years. We have had a joint bank accounts the entire time. Some credit cards are single, some are joint. We discuss major purchases (anything over $500), other than that we trust each other to make wise decisions.
 
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