Married...How can we serve the church?

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erarmstrong

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:confused:My husband and I are married, obviously, we are converting to the catholic faith and he feels like he is being drawn by God to be a preist/pastor or a chaplain in the military. I have always been drawn to the catholic church and even thought of being a nun once. My question is, what can we do if we are married, in what way can we still devote our life to God and serving the church and his people and still remain married. We have children and plan to have more so an annulment is out of the question. Thank You 😃
 
Married couples have a very important role in the Church. It does not take being priests or religious to actively serve Christ and his Church. The key is developing and strengthening what we call the domestic church (your home).

Within the Church are many apostolates that you can become involved in as a lay couple in the parish or diocesan level. St. Vincent de Paul (helping the poor), Serra International (supporting religious vocations), NFP instructors (this is especially important in helping strengthen newly married Catholic couples), and also you should look into becoming third order religious (most major orders offer a type of membership specifically for lay people).

If your husband is interested in a more pastoral role, the only option could be the permanent diaconate. The formation is long and you yourself will be included in almost every step. Unfortunately, deacons cannot serve as Catholic military chaplains.

You may have heard of instances where married men who have converted to the Catholic faith actually become Catholic priests. But, this program (called the Pastoral Provision) is reserved for men who are both already married and already ordained as clergy in certain protestant denominations.
 
I always promote this to married couples: vocations-holyfamily.com/

or you may join secular orders like the Order of Discalced Carmelites Secular and Secular Franciscan Order. I am quite sure they accept married applicants.
 
As a catechist I can tell you that there is always a need for knowledgeable, faith-filled catechists for both children and adults.

In a more general sense, look at what you’re interested in and enthusiastic about and there is probably a need for that in the church. What you get involved with doesn’t have to be limited to your parish. Often there are diocesan-wide groups or even nationwide groups that need you.

Is there a particular group you’d like to serve? Children? Young adults? The homeless? The sick?

If there isn’t an existing group serving the group you have in mind, perhaps you are being called to start one. I could imagine looking around a parish and seeing that there’s not much support for parents to grow in their faith and raise their families in the faith…and then starting something to serve them. Or seeing that the elderly are often excluded and lonely…and then starting something to serve them.

If both spouses are interested in the same area you could have a real powerhouse team that could make wonderful things happen.
 
Thank you all for your responses! Hubby is praying about being a chaplain in the army and also about being a deacon, cause deacons can be married. I on the other hand have looked into the third order of St Dominic. So I will be trying to get myself into the habit of going to daily mass, when able, also praying the rosary everyday and praying the liturgy of the hours morning and night. Cause it will be until next year before we are catholics. We are very excited and feel God moving in our family. Its just absolutely amazing.
 
The vocation of marriage in the Catholic Church is considered to be of equal value to the vocation to the priesthood or the religious life. Catholic clergy are celibate in order to dedicate their life to the Church and wear a wedding ring. As married Catholics, we are asked to be role models within our community and serve our family. I hope you find your vocation.
 
erarmstrong, I can relate. I am an empty-nester though. I explored a vocation when I was younger, but I devoted myself to raising three children. Now the call to full-time ministry has come back. For many years, I was content to volunteer for a couple hours a week in my parish, but now I want to do a lot more. For that to be possible, I would need a paying job. I got training as a chaplain (clinical pastoral education), but I found out there are rarely any jobs in that field in this area. Going back to my normal profession after CPE seems like Peter going fishing after the Resurrection. How can I go back to the 9 to 5 job after ministering to dying patients?
My archdiocese has a Office of Laity that I hope can guide me. I looking into a third order. I am thinking about starting a ministry. I am praying for guidance. I’m thinking about getting a Masters in Pastoral Theology.
Why does the Church say we need more vocations, then act like lay vocations are not important? There is no Office of Vocations that includes lay vocations, is there?
Where can I turn to find the guidance I need?
 
erarmstrong said:
:confused:My husband and I are married, obviously, we are converting to the catholic faith and he feels like he is being drawn by God to be a preist/pastor or a chaplain in the military. I have always been drawn to the catholic church and even thought of being a nun once. My question is, what can we do if we are married, in what way can we still devote our life to God and serving the church and his people and still remain married. We have children and plan to have more so an annulment is out of the question. Thank You 😃
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Well first off your marriage if done correctly is a big service to God and to The Church! Married couples that instill the faith in their hearts and in their children produce for the Church future Catholics that will either be married, single, or join religious vocations. Your vocation gives our Church the possibility of future vocations. It is the very thing that keeps monasterys, convents, and seminaries thriving and alive (all with Gods grace of course). Also if I’m not mistaken if you are married and join the Eastern Rite your husband can still be a priest.

CCC-1580
“In the Eastern Churches a different discipline has been in force for many centuries: while bishops are chosen solely from among celibates, married men can be ordained as decons and priests. This practice has long been considered legitimate; these priests excercise a fruitful ministry within their communities. Moreover, priestly celibacy is held in great honor in the Eastern Churches and many have freely chosen it for the sake of the Kingdom of God. In the East and West a man who has already received the sacrament of Holy Orders can no longer marry.” — Cattechism of the Catholic Church

You can be married and a priest if your in the Eastern rite. When picking an Eastern Catholic Church or any Catholic Church make sure it is with leauge with Rome. God bless you and your husband.
 
I do not agree that lay persons are less important although the Church may sometimes give that impression as more celibates are canonised. However, God does not judge us by our job title but by our hidden acts of sacrifice. I like Saint Therese de Lisieux’s Little Way. I pray for you and I am married to a Methodist minister’s son so I know other denominations have a different view of celibacy and the priesthood although we have married deacons. Even if you work outside the Church you can always try to attend mass at lunchtime aswell as volunteer within the Church. My dad also converted to the Catholic faith and came from a different background completely.
 
erarmstrong said:
Thank you all for your responses! Hubby is praying about being a chaplain in the army and also about being a deacon, cause deacons can be married. I on the other hand have looked into the third order of St Dominic. So I will be trying to get myself into the habit of going to daily mass, when able, also praying the rosary everyday and praying the liturgy of the hours morning and night. Cause it will be until next year before we are catholics. We are very excited and feel God moving in our family. Its just absolutely amazing.
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This is wonderful. There are many vocation for married people within the church. That said, you should start small. You are just starting your formal converstion process. Even after you are Catholic, you’ll need some time to fully emmerse yourself in just being Catholic. Perhaps start teaching a CCD class or helping with NFP classes (Have you taken those yourselves yet? It’s not required by any means, but it is very helpful in many ways.)

Larger commitments can follow after you are used to being Catholics, thinking like Catholics, following the liturgical year, etc. Many commitments --like the deaconate or some 3rd Orders, ask you to wait a few years after your converstion before starting their enrollment procedures.
 
One thing I have not seen here yet is -

You can be missionaries!
We are!

Two children (ages 3 and 3 months, one little girl in heaven) - all things are possible through Him who strengthens us (Phil 4:13).👍
 
:gopray2:
erarmstrong said:
:confused:My husband and I are married, obviously, we are converting to the catholic faith and he feels like he is being drawn by God to be a preist/pastor or a chaplain in the military. I have always been drawn to the catholic church and even thought of being a nun once. My question is, what can we do if we are married, in what way can we still devote our life to God and serving the church and his people and still remain married. We have children and plan to have more so an annulment is out of the question. Thank You 😃
Click to expand...
As I can only speak for myself and DH, we have just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary and over the years we have served the Church in many different ways. We started off with singing with the Church choirs. Later on we became Ministers of the Eucharist and Eucharistic Ministers to the sick and dying.

In our church we have around 150 different minis
tries serving infants, children, teens, married, divorced/separated, respite care, needy, soup kitchen, prison ministry etc. There is a place for each one of us. Quite unexpectedly we find that the Holy Spirit will nudge us towards what we should do.

In addition to our marriage vocation, we also have taken vows in the Order of Discalced Secular Carmelites and, of course, there are several other ‘Orders’ to choose from. :gopray2:
 
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