Married in Protestant Church

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I was baptized and confirmed. My wife is protestant. This is our only marriage. We have been married 6 years. We were married in front of a minister and we both believe we were truly married in God’s eyes.

I want to be fully accepted into the Catholic Church. I have been hearing contradictory things about “blessing” the marriage; having the marriage “convalidated”, “renewing our vows”. I have a bad feeling the priests who I have been talking with do not know what they are talking about.

My wife and I both believe we were married correctly by the protestant minister; that is, we both gave full consent. I do not want to have to state anywhere on record that my marriage was invalid. I accept it is not sacramental per se, but I refuse to state it is not a real, valid marriage. I do not want to have 2 marriage dates, one Catholic and one legal.

Deep down I want to return to the Catholic faith completely but I am having a hard time doing so. My understanding is that convalidation would mean that we were not really married.

Please help and please do not advise me to speak with a priest because I have spoken with 3 different priests and I believe they know less about canon law than I do.

What about radical sanation?
 
I would not worry to much about dates and of the possibility of your marriage not being licit or valid. From what you say it seems to me that you have the right spiritual predisposition and practical conditions to make thinks completely right. Just talk to the priest for the specifics and come back home. Little hangups should not hinder your spiritual life. I try to celebrate my marriage every day, whatever it is a good or bad day, my wife knows that and often we do not even care if we cannot do anything special on the real anniversary date.
 
I’m sorry Agent but if you were baptized and confirmed a Catholic you do have an invalid marriage which does mean that in light of Catholic teaching for Catholics which you did not follow you are not in actuality married. I know it seems like a “real” marriage to you and that makes this realization difficult. In general “blessing the marriage” and convalidation are the same thing. You cannot renew vows although you can personally consider the catholic ceremony a renewal if you wish. The church can’t see it that way though. You will need to go to confession as well for having gone through the invalid ceremony and any other sins you might have since your last confession. You will need to take some personal responsibility for your actions .

I found an answer on the radical sanation in a Catholic Answers This Rock Magazine which may be helpful.

catholic.com/thisrock/1995/9504qq.asp

Prayers for you . I know this is difficult. The Holy Spirit has gotten you this far, let him take you the rest of the way throught the process.
 
Agent said:
I was baptized and confirmed. My wife is protestant. This is our only marriage. We have been married 6 years. We were married in front of a minister and we both believe we were truly married in God’s eyes.

I want to be fully accepted into the Catholic Church. I have been hearing contradictory things about “blessing” the marriage; having the marriage “convalidated”, “renewing our vows”. I have a bad feeling the priests who I have been talking with do not know what they are talking about.

My wife and I both believe we were married correctly by the protestant minister; that is, we both gave full consent. I do not want to have to state anywhere on record that my marriage was invalid. I accept it is not sacramental per se, but I refuse to state it is not a real, valid marriage. I do not want to have 2 marriage dates, one Catholic and one legal.

Deep down I want to return to the Catholic faith completely but I am having a hard time doing so. My understanding is that convalidation would mean that we were not really married.

Please help and please do not advise me to speak with a priest because I have spoken with 3 different priests and I believe they know less about canon law than I do.

What about radical sanation?
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You would have been married correctly by the Protestant minister, if you both were Protestant at the time, but you were Catholic, requiring you to be Married in front of a Catholic Priest, or Deacon. You could ask about obtaining the Bishops dispensation retroactive to be Married outside of Catholic Form in the Protestant church by the Protestant minister. (radical sanation)
 
It’s a strange situation for me. At the time of the marriage I felt like I was a protestant. I did not think I was Catholic at that time at all. I know I was confirmed but I did not think I was Catholic. At that time of the original marriage I was not attending Mass and did not care about things Catholic. I was even re-baptized in the Protestant faith.

Is it Once Catholic, always Catholic? Did I renounce my Catholic faith by having another baptism?

I was confirmed when I was a teenager mainly to satisfy my parents and looking back I don’t think there was full consent to the confirmation on my part…

I really appreciate the responses as it is hard for me to speak with priests as I am in a fairly rural area.
 
Agent said:
It’s a strange situation for me. At the time of the marriage I felt like I was a protestant. I did not think I was Catholic at that time at all. I know I was confirmed but I did not think I was Catholic. At that time of the original marriage I was not attending Mass and did not care about things Catholic. I was even re-baptized in the Protestant faith.

Is it Once Catholic, always Catholic? Did I renounce my Catholic faith by having another baptism?

I was confirmed when I was a teenager mainly to satisfy my parents and looking back I don’t think there was full consent to the confirmation on my part…

I really appreciate the responses as it is hard for me to speak with priests as I am in a fairly rural area.
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People “leave” the Church; however, the Church does not leave people. Your baptism as a Catholic is indissoluble; therefore you are still a Catholic. There is no such thing as a re-Baptism. Baptism occurs only once and, that’s it. You also don’t need full consent for confirmation. You may have received the sacrament just to “satisfy” your parents, but, that doesn’t take away its validity. As far as the grace is concerned, that is what is working on you right now to return home to the Church.

As far as your marriage is concerned, you are in an invalid marriage because, as a Catholic, you are supposed to be married under the laws of Christ and His Church.
 
Hi, Agent, and welcome to the forums.

I just wanted to add my two cents to the already good advice that has been posted here.

You say that you want to return to your Catholic faith. Why not begin by considering the blessings and graces that may result to your marriage by having it convalidated in the Catholic Church, rather than just a burden being imposed on you and your wife?

Consider my story. Before our convalidation last October, my husband and I had been legally married for 22 years. We were married in August of 1984 in a Protestant ceremony. My husband was a non-practicing Catholic, and I was Protestant.

After I was received into full communion with the Catholic Church last year, we had convalidation in October. To do this, our state actually required us to obtain a new license. (not all states do, however). Imagine having to go back to town hall and do that after 22 years! Today we have two marriage licenses and two different anniversary dates. That fact does not change our day to day lives in any way.

However, I truly believe that God has blessed our marriage in a special way since our convalidation.

May God bless you on your journey. You will not go wrong in seeking and receiving the Sacraments of this Church.
 
Dear Married in the Protestant Church,

Hello, my name is Kathleen and I too was originally married in the Protestant church. I was a fallen away Catholic and my husband had been baptized Methodist. I too faced the dilemma…but you truly should open your heart to the reasons to marry in the Church. My husband was not really excited about another “marriage”…my mother faced the same hesitancy when I was 4 and she married my dad in his faith (Catholic). Mind you, my mother had converted to Church of Christ while my father was stationed in Japan and I was just an infant. Her parents were Church of Christ and we were living with them while my dad was over seas. It nearly broke my parents up, when he returned and was met with her new found faith. Well, anyway, The Catholic Marriage Ceremony is quite beautiful, in that it is you, your spouse and God…in a manner of speaking. Do not be upset about the “rules” but embrace the chance to renew your vows in the Church that you wish to become a more intimate member of. My husband came with me to Mass, by the way, I returned to the Church when my daughter was 5 years old, as I felt the need for her to have the wonderful faith I had known as a child and had left, because I did not want to follow “the rules”. Now I wish I would have stayed, it surely would have saved me many years of misery…running after what I thought would make me happy. Well, OK…so my husband started going with me to Mass…mind you, he is a child of the 60’s and had at one time embraced Zen Buddhism. He fell in love with the Catholic Church. We married, he went through RCIA and now he is constantly reading and working toward a deeper relationship with our Lord. I guess what I am trying to say is…if you truly love the Church, and it is the Church Jesus founded, be open to the various “rules” we must all follow. I figure the Catholic Church is kind of like the Marines…if it was too easy, how would we know that we were in the right place? Of course, you probably figured out that my dad was a Marine! In most Protestant Churches, you join…give your heart to Jesus, then you learn. The Catholic Church says, first you learn, then you are in full membership. The one thing I have figured out since restarting my journey is that 2000+ years of teachings are hard to argue with…our faith is truly time tested and not just arbitrary rules.
Sorry that I rattled on so long…but please don’t consider your first marriage wrong, merely think of your vows in the Catholic Church as another stepping stone toward a beautiful and spiritual journey to know, love and serve God.
In Christ’s Peace and Mercy,
Kathleen
 
I have a bad feeling the priests who I have been talking with do not know what they are talking about.

**Great attention is paid in seminaries to the issue of marriages and making sure that they get regularized according to Roman Catholic Canon law.

You may rest assured that any Priest will know more about this complex issue than you. If there are unexpected tangles, that’s what marriage tribunals exist for.**
 
I have been trying to get this done for 18 months and nothing has happened. I have been told it is easy but if it is so easy why does it take so long? I am not trying to be critical of the Church or priests, but I need practical advice and assistance from priests and it is not really working out for me. I was told to go to RCIA even though confirmend and then the RCIA person told me I can’t go and then the priest got angry with the RCIA coordinator.

I am frustrated and would just like to be able to come back like the prodigal son without having to wait so long and go through so much red tape.

There are priests, sad to say, that give wrong information.
 
Some not very accurate information has been posted here…

The fact is that under the Code of Canon law, you no longer fall under the regulations applicable to Catholics who marry if you have left the Church by a “positive act”. Getting baptized in a protestant church, even though it is not sacramentally valid, would almost definitely qualify as a public, positive act indicating that you have left the Catholic Church, in which case, your marriage in the protestant ceremony would be valid (unless some other legal impediment existed that you haven’t mentioned here).

To get peace of mind on this, you might want to go to Google and find the Saint Joseph Foundation, an organization that gives legal advice. Their phone number is at the bottom or you can email them through a form they provide. The service is free and I have always found them helpful.
 
Agent said:
I have been trying to get this done for 18 months and nothing has happened. I have been told it is easy but if it is so easy why does it take so long? I am not trying to be critical of the Church or priests, but I need practical advice and assistance from priests and it is not really working out for me. I was told to go to RCIA even though confirmend and then the RCIA person told me I can’t go and then the priest got angry with the RCIA coordinator.

I am frustrated and would just like to be able to come back like the prodigal son without having to wait so long and go through so much red tape.

There are priests, sad to say, that give wrong information.
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There are RCIA coordinators who, sad to say, give wrong information. What was the outcome between the priest and RCIA coordinator re: your situation?
 
Don’t know. I am quais-going to TAKE ANOTHER LOOK class for returning Catholics but I am the only regular attender and it isn’t that helpful. I just wanted to audit the RCIA classes. Feel almost unwanted by Church if truth be told. . .
 
This is a reply to MR HOFFMAN.

Thank you very much! I will look into that website.
 
Agent said:
This is a reply to MR HOFFMAN.

Thank you very much! I will look into that website.
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Agent, please be very, very careful about websites that purport to give advice on canon law. That site states on its homepage that the opinions of its writers are their own, that they do not purport to speak for the Church, and that they have not sought ecclesiastical recognition.

Your immortal soul is so important. Don’t stake it on some website.
 
Agent:

While personally, I think this rule of the Church not recognizing a otherwise legal marriage by a Protestant Minister as being valid is rather silly, unfortunately it’s true. My wife and I were married by a Lutheran Minister years ago while waiting for her annulment to come through from her first marriage. As far as we were concerned the marriage was blessed by God, however to remain in the good graces of the Church we were married in the Catholic Church years later.

My advice is to let your consciouses be your guide. However, if living within the rules of the Catholic Church is important to you, go ahead and take your vows again in the Church. However, I have no doubt your first marriage vows were indeed God blessed.

Good luck!
 
The St. Joseph Foundation is not just a website. It’s a 501c3 organization that has existed for almost 25 years and has assisted in some high profile cases involving canon law. I’m not saying they are infallible or anything like that but they’re a good place to start and very helpful in my opinion. This is not some fly by night website offering canon law advice for a fee (something I’ve never seen before but perhaps it exists out there on the web).

The problem is, as the poster noted, that not all priests understand these things. I think that after 18 months someone might have mentioned to him the simple aspect of canon law involving leaving the Church by a positive act, but no one did.

Anyway, sir, God bless you and I wish you well.
 
Agent , I would consider calling up the diocese yourself and seeing if you could get some help.

There are some varying opinions on what leaving the church through a formal act entails. I believe they are looking for what contact with the church you made to let them know you were leaving and wanted to be freed from canonical law.

Here’s the church document that pertains-

clsa.org/content/files/USCCB_memo_2006_0405.pdf

You do need catechesis in order to transition back into the church. It is wise for the priest who will receive you back in to have some confidence that you are willing to follow the churches teaching this time. Not sure how to go about that considering that you were confirmed. Perhaps the Diocese has some guidelines to offer you .
 
I would also suggest you call your diocese. If I was doingit, I’d either call the chancery, or the marriage and/ or family life office. They should be able to give me the right information, and possibly the name of a priest who does know his stuff.
 
Agent said:
It’s a strange situation for me. At the time of the marriage I felt like I was a protestant. I did not think I was Catholic at that time at all. I know I was confirmed but I did not think I was Catholic. At that time of the original marriage I was not attending Mass and did not care about things Catholic. I was even re-baptized in the Protestant faith.

Is it Once Catholic, always Catholic? Did I renounce my Catholic faith by having another baptism?

I was confirmed when I was a teenager mainly to satisfy my parents and looking back I don’t think there was full consent to the confirmation on my part…

I really appreciate the responses as it is hard for me to speak with priests as I am in a fairly rural area.
Click to expand...
You can always write the diocese on the matter, but usually your pastor is where you start. Your Confirmation would be valid , however you may not have had much benefit from it because of your disposition at the time.

“Did I renounce my Catholic faith by having another baptism?”
You woul dhave to consult the diocese or your pastor with all the details to get an accurate answer on that one.
 
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