Married Life: What Gomez and Morticia Can Teach Us

[TarkanAttila]

I found this opinion piece on the Internet on married love and life, and how the couple from the Addams Family fit the bill of a passionate married life.

doctornerdlove.com/2014/10/couples-can-learn-gomez-morticia-addams/

I’m not a fan of love stories.

I realize this sounds odd coming from someone who teaches people how make others fall in love with them, but stay with me for a moment here.

The most famous, beloved love stories of all time all end in the death of one or both of the lovers. Tristian and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet, Oliver Barrett and Jenny Cavalleri, Jack and Rose, Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, even modern books like John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars focuses on the tragedy of loss like a literary cheat code to make the love more poignant.
Oh, um… spoiler alert.

Oh, um… spoiler alert.

Meanwhile the love stories that don’t end in death tend to end with “and then they got together”. We get some final confirmation of their (implied) happily ever after – a wedding, an ironic repeat of dialogue from earlier in the story, something – and then the screen fades and the credits roll. It’s all very sweet… but we’re fetishizing the early days of love, when it’s all fresh and new and exciting. We rarely see a celebration of an old love – one that has withstood the test of time and has only been made stronger.

Which is why the love story I truly appreciate is the story of Gomez and Morticia Addams. When they were introduced to television the 60s they stood out in stark contrast from other couples – even ones in modern day sitcoms – as a pair who truly loved one another and have for a long time. In fact, whether in the 60s era sitcom or the movies from the 90s, Gomez and Morticia are, in many ways, the perfect couple… and many couples could learn how to make love last by following their example.

What do you all think? Especially married couples. Is there any truth to this? If so, once again I’m quite happy to be Catholic, weird, and happy (insofar as I can be).

 

[edwest2]

Well, as long as a carnivorous plant is involved

Gomez was a bit ‘over the top.’ He had desk drawers filled with money and didn’t have a job - apparently. However, their sense of communication and compliments to each other, how wonderful. Both had their pastimes… ahem. Enjoying each other’s company no matter what you are doing is what keeps marriages going.

Ed

 

[DaisymaeD]

I’ve thought this for a long time. They simply enjoy being together like two happy children, without angsting and trying to live up to the relationships around them.

And LOL at the bed of nails in the playroom!

 

[Cat]

My husband and I are huge fans of the Addams family, which came from the old cartoons written by Charles Addams. In these cartoons, the “family” wasn’t named. The names were added for television.

There are so many things that Gomez and Morticia can teach married couples! In fact, this would be a great book (with pictures from the cartoons, the show, and the movies!)

1. Make each other the Number One priority! (after God, of course).
2. Make the children the Number Two priority! (Pugsley and Wednesday).
3. Extend hospitality and respect to each other’s extended family, even if they’re weird. (Mama, Uncle Fester, Cousin It, Ophelia, etc. etc.).
4. Spend time together involved with common interests (e.g, fencing, dancing the tango).
5. Develop separate interests (Morticia’ koto playing and singing, Gomez’s blowing up his model trains).
6. Do a lot of conversing and develop your intellect.
7. Lovemaking (sex) should begin OUTSIDE of the bedroom with physical displays of affection, loving nicknames (carita!), compliments, and loving looks.
8. Stay home a lot. Don’t feel the need to be out on the town constantly.
9. Make your home a haven that both of you love coming back to.
10. Have FUN! Live life to the full as much as possible! Be passionate about everything!
11. If you can afford it, hire household help to free yourself up from the daily chores (Lurch, Thing) so that you have more time to spend with each other, children, and family.
12. As much as it’s in your power, work on being attractive to each other, and don’t worry about keeping up with whatever is currently considered “attractive.”
13. Develop a love of music and fill your home with all styles of music.
14. Learn to dance and do it often at home. I wish my husband and I had learned when we were young and my knees actually worked. (We were raised Baptist and Pentecostal, and dancing was considered sinful.)
15. Don’t be concerned about what others think of you. Just be kind and generous to everyone.
16. Get a pet (the lion named Kitty, the carnivorous plant named Cleopatra).
17. This never made it onto the TV series (maybe the movies?), but in the cartoons, the Addams family routinely dumped boiling oil on intruders. The lesson we can learn is to DEFEND YOUR FAMILY against all who would hurt it! Don’t allow someone or something to mess with your family and break it up!

 

[Cat]

http://cdn.themetapicture.com/pic/images/2014/12/14/funny-Addams-Family-Morticia-Gomez-Love.jpg

 

[Cat]

Well, as long as a carnivorous plant is involved

Gomez was a bit ‘over the top.’ He had desk drawers filled with money and didn’t have a job - apparently. However, their sense of communication and compliments to each other, how wonderful. Both had their pastimes… ahem. Enjoying each other’s company no matter what you are doing is what keeps marriages going.

Ed

Gomez had a job–he was a stock trader. Remember the ticker tape machine in his home? “Amalgamated Lint–up 3 points! Consolidated Fuzz–down 2 points!”

Stock traders make a good income if they’re successful at it.

One of the movies really missed it by implying that the Addams fortune came from “greed.” This is so not true. In the TV series, they were a very generous family and gave lots of money to local charities and good causes.

I know a few true millionaires, and it’s interesting how many of them are rather “weird.” One incredibly wealthy man in my circle of acquaintances has worn “leggings” for years along with over-sized furry sweaters (not just fuzzy, but “furry”), and sandals. He cross-country skis around the city in the streets–in the SUMMER–on skis with wheels, and using ski poles. He gets some looks.

And one elderly lady that I knew (she was old then, and I’m fairly certain she has passed away…R.I.P.) wore all-leather clothing, and it was very close-fitting.

Those are just a few examples. Lots of weirdness among the wealthy. Just the other day, I heard an interview with Warren Buffet, and he said that he drinks five (5) Coca Colas (the sugary kind) every day, and ice cream for breakfast. When the interviewer commented that it wasn’t a very healthy diet, he said, “No, but it’s a very HAPPY diet!”

 

[underacloud]

Cat your list there was almost perfect.

Almost…

1. Learn to dance and do it often at home. I wish my husband and I had learned when we were young and my knees actually worked. (We were raised Baptist and Pentecostal, and dancing was considered sinful.)

:nope:

 

[CharlieDoe]

Isn’t marriage all about:

yelling;
screaming;
throwing objects;
breaking the windshield of your wife’s car as she tries to drive away to her parent’s house;
telling your kids “your mom is crazy now go to sleep before I beat the **** out of you”, when they ask when mom is coming home;
calling your wife the next morning threatening to shoot the kids unless she comes home;
visits from the police; and
restraining orders?

Because that’s what my parents’ marriage taught me. And they had a Catholic wedding!

 

[DarkLight]

Isn’t marriage all about:

yelling;
screaming;
throwing objects;
breaking the windshield of your wife’s car as she tries to drive away to her parent’s house;
telling your kids “your mom is crazy now go to sleep before I beat the **** out of you”, when they ask when mom is coming home;
calling your wife the next morning threatening to shoot the kids unless she comes home;
visits from the police; and
restraining orders?

Because that’s what my parents’ marriage taught me. And they had a Catholic wedding!

Sin does not mean that the good is thereby invalidated.

I dated a man who would say I was beautiful and that he needed me and I was special and he’d never hurt me - and proceed to force himself on me while saying those words. It hurt like hell and it made things very hard, but that doesn’t mean others don’t have and share genuine love.

 

[Morwenna]

My husband and I are huge fans of the Addams family, which came from the old cartoons written by Charles Addams. In these cartoons, the “family” wasn’t named. The names were added for television.

There are so many things that Gomez and Morticia can teach married couples! In fact, this would be a great book (with pictures from the cartoons, the show, and the movies!)

1. Make each other the Number One priority! (after God, of course).
2. Make the children the Number Two priority! (Pugsley and Wednesday).
3. Extend hospitality and respect to each other’s extended family, even if they’re weird. (Mama, Uncle Fester, Cousin It, Ophelia, etc. etc.).
4. Spend time together involved with common interests (e.g, fencing, dancing the tango).
5. Develop separate interests (Morticia’ koto playing and singing, Gomez’s blowing up his model trains).
6. Do a lot of conversing and develop your intellect.
7. Lovemaking (sex) should begin OUTSIDE of the bedroom with physical displays of affection, loving nicknames (carita!), compliments, and loving looks.
8. Stay home a lot. Don’t feel the need to be out on the town constantly.
9. Make your home a haven that both of you love coming back to.
10. Have FUN! Live life to the full as much as possible! Be passionate about everything!
11. If you can afford it, hire household help to free yourself up from the daily chores (Lurch, Thing) so that you have more time to spend with each other, children, and family.
12. As much as it’s in your power, work on being attractive to each other, and don’t worry about keeping up with whatever is currently considered “attractive.”
13. Develop a love of music and fill your home with all styles of music.
14. Learn to dance and do it often at home. I wish my husband and I had learned when we were young and my knees actually worked. (We were raised Baptist and Pentecostal, and dancing was considered sinful.)
15. Don’t be concerned about what others think of you. Just be kind and generous to everyone.
16. Get a pet (the lion named Kitty, the carnivorous plant named Cleopatra).
17. This never made it onto the TV series (maybe the movies?), but in the cartoons, the Addams family routinely dumped boiling oil on intruders. The lesson we can learn is to DEFEND YOUR FAMILY against all who would hurt it! Don’t allow someone or something to mess with your family and break it up!

Fantastic work, Cat!

Well-thought, and well-said!

 

[DakiniArtist]

This is such a great thread! Tried to give it five stars but the rating function is glitching.

 

[Pax2u]

My husband and I are huge fans of the Addams family, which came from the old cartoons written by Charles Addams. In these cartoons, the “family” wasn’t named. The names were added for television.

There are so many things that Gomez and Morticia can teach married couples! In fact, this would be a great book (with pictures from the cartoons, the show, and the movies!)

1. Make each other the Number One priority! (after God, of course).
2. Make the children the Number Two priority! (Pugsley and Wednesday).
3. Extend hospitality and respect to each other’s extended family, even if they’re weird. (Mama, Uncle Fester, Cousin It, Ophelia, etc. etc.).
4. Spend time together involved with common interests (e.g, fencing, dancing the tango).
5. Develop separate interests (Morticia’ koto playing and singing, Gomez’s blowing up his model trains).
6. Do a lot of conversing and develop your intellect.
7. Lovemaking (sex) should begin OUTSIDE of the bedroom with physical displays of affection, loving nicknames (carita!), compliments, and loving looks.
8. Stay home a lot. Don’t feel the need to be out on the town constantly.
9. Make your home a haven that both of you love coming back to.
10. Have FUN! Live life to the full as much as possible! Be passionate about everything!
11. If you can afford it, hire household help to free yourself up from the daily chores (Lurch, Thing) so that you have more time to spend with each other, children, and family.
12. As much as it’s in your power, work on being attractive to each other, and don’t worry about keeping up with whatever is currently considered “attractive.”
13. Develop a love of music and fill your home with all styles of music.
14. Learn to dance and do it often at home. I wish my husband and I had learned when we were young and my knees actually worked. (We were raised Baptist and Pentecostal, and dancing was considered sinful.)
15. Don’t be concerned about what others think of you. Just be kind and generous to everyone.
16. Get a pet (the lion named Kitty, the carnivorous plant named Cleopatra).
17. This never made it onto the TV series (maybe the movies?), but in the cartoons, the Addams family routinely dumped boiling oil on intruders. The lesson we can learn is to DEFEND YOUR FAMILY against all who would hurt it! Don’t allow someone or something to mess with your family and break it up!

Cat, I love your list! Well, except for #16. We’re not “animal people” , though we do have a 12-year-old shamrock plant that won’t die

 

[Sarcelle]

Sin does not mean that the good is thereby invalidated.

I dated a man who would say I was beautiful and that he needed me and I was special and he’d never hurt me - and proceed to force himself on me while saying those words. It hurt like hell and it made things very hard, but that doesn’t mean others don’t have and share genuine love.

A Catholic wedding does not guarantee an ideal Catholic marriage.
If only it were that easy. But you already knew that right?

 

[Bruised_Reed]

My friend’s husband gave her an Addams family card for this last anniversary and I was so happy for both of them.

 

[Phemie]

Cat your list there was almost perfect.

Almost…

Originally Posted by Cat

???

 

[underacloud]

???

I’m not fond of dancing.

(personally that is, not morally speaking)

 

[Xantippe]

Isn’t marriage all about:

yelling;
screaming;
throwing objects;
breaking the windshield of your wife’s car as she tries to drive away to her parent’s house;
telling your kids “your mom is crazy now go to sleep before I beat the **** out of you”, when they ask when mom is coming home;
calling your wife the next morning threatening to shoot the kids unless she comes home;
visits from the police; and
restraining orders?

Because that’s what my parents’ marriage taught me. And they had a Catholic wedding!

Nope.

If marriage was all about those things normally, the police wouldn’t bother to respond to domestic disturbance calls and restraining orders would never be granted.

 

[TarkanAttila]

My friend’s husband gave her an Addams family card for this last anniversary and I was so happy for both of them.

That image is spot on. Actually, it’s the best commentary against modern love and sex in the world. Maybe they’re not completely weird. In that respect, maybe they’re even admirable.

 

[E_7]

I too believe they really loved each other and that it was very passionate. This kind of love where she was the only woman he could see and same with her. Faithfulness to the fullest. Devotion to one another and self -giving. I agree with Cat.

I remember, by the way, back when I was a teen, my dad used to say to my mom “cara mía” and then kissed her arm starting from the hand. All this at home or while driving. My reaction was “eew stop it”.

 

[Rose71]

Excellent thread! The happiest couples I know seem to just radiate their delight in one another and have fun. I always thought Gomez and Morticia were Catholics!