Married Love and intimacy

[LetLoveLead]

–Viewers Discretion is advised. Mature subjects. –
After doing much research on Holy Mother churches official teachings about married Love, sexual acts, and foreplay I still find some unanswered questions. I am a male about to be married in close to a month and need to know specific vital information as to what is deemed morally wrong or evil intrinsically.

 

[Soren_Itenu]

Oral and manual stimulation are fine if they are part of the overall unitive, procreative sex act, meaning you don’t do it until you ejaculate in the partner’s mouth or just do oral and/or manual stimulation in lieu of vaginal sex.

 

[JackieMom]

Where did you come up with the idea that only genital to genital contact is allowed? Oral sex, kissing of the body and sensual touching are perfectly fine and good as long as you end up ejaculating inside your wife’s vagina. If she does not have an orgasm from intercourse, you may do what it takes to bring her to satisfaction afterwards.

 

[anruari]

Chastity within marriage looks very different from the chastity of the single person. BUt it remains an important virtue.

The sexual acts within marriage need to be guided by both of your own instincts and desires.

Intimacy, whether sexual or not, needs to be an expression of your love for eachother - not simply an expression of how horny one or both of you are feeling (note I say jot simply: not just, it’s fine and good to have those feelings… just don’t let them rule you).

It is very much a good thing to engage in intimate behaviour that tells your partner that you cherish them. that you care for them, that you want them to greatly enjoy your intimacies. that you want those times to be special. that they should be a mutual exploration of each other’s changing “needs” and desires.

The act of conjugal love should be fully “self Giving”. this means sometimes you will gladly and lovingly engage in acts or forms of intimacy that are your partners prefered choice rather than your own (we all have our favourate positions / ways of kissing etc.)

It should build up and edify the other person.

Some people enjoy all kinds of different things… but it is wise to avoid licencencious behaviour leading you to forms of intimacy which do not espouse the virtues of Love, and Charity to each other: using blindfolds or tying up games can be fun - but hardcore BDSM does not express the virtues Love and Charity rather wallows in depravity and harming or disrespecting the participants… there’s a very slippery slope between those.

Be open to new Life within the boundaries advised by the church (Don’t use any form of ABC. Only use NFP regretfully if you need to delay… if you’re newlywed you will hopefully not need to resort to that straight away - but many advocates advise on learning the methods and using them anyway - whether or not you are trying to conceive).

For most couples it is far easier for the man to be “satisfied” than the woman. It is therefore a responsibility on the man to ensure that his wife feels cherished, and fulfilled in your sex life.
If you bring your wife to climax before or after a conjugal act does not matter morally provided it takes place as part of a broader time of love-making which is open to life.

 

[Gaerteuth]

–Viewers Discretion is advised. Mature subjects. –
The act must engage both genitals with the acceptance of life without any interference of that life being made. But I still have more technical questions.

Why is the acceptance of life vital? Does God honestly want you to have as many babies as humanly possible?

1. During the foreplay phase before intercourse, I understand that caressing of breasts and intimate kissing is acceptable because they are not unnatural sexual acts. But what about kissing around the thighs, legs, or genital area with no sexual stimulation or act. Much like in the way you would kiss the neck or cheeks(face).

Guess what. Humans are inclined to arouse eachother in various ways. That’s nature.

1. What is acceptable in terms of arousing the other person? Would touching the others genitals/breasts to arousal, but not to sexually simulate the sexual organs in a sexual act be evil? (knowing the other would consent to the arousing touch)

Sex is not evil in any sense. You cannot call something unnatural if it comes from a natural being. I know religion doesn’t like this simple fact, but humans are inherently animal. Just because we have sophisticated minds doesn’t mean we can slap the anthropic principle onto something that’s culturally taboo and call it “reasoning”.

1. Can you touch the others genitals with anything other than your own genitals? By touching I just mean like you would touch your face or arm ect. I don’t mean to sexually pleasure the other person. As that would be masturbation to the other person.

Love is love. You can package it anyway you want, but humans are frisky animals and the impulses that arise from our animal background is completely natural. Guess what: Ordinary, missionary traditional sex gets really old, really fast. And your romance will fly out the window if you can’t keep the spark up. And that would go against matrimony, would it not?

Thanks

Really sorry for the graphic and very specific nature of the questions but I want a Holy marriage in every way possible and how our Father intended it to be!

 

[Soren_Itenu]

Gaerteuth is espousing views on sexuality that are outside Christian morality. OP, please disregard this poster’s comments as, at best, heretical, and at worst hostile to Church teaching.

 

[Zelie_Louis]

Please discuss any questions you have with your priest or contact an apologist at CAF.